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thoughts at day ten

Having my child start kindergarten has been a roller coaster. Just when I think that she’s going to be OK and that I made the right decision to send her to this particular school, I learn about some byzantine rule or procedure. Like, for example, the ‘card system’. If your behavior is exemplary your card stays in the green zone all day. If there is a lapse, you go into the yellow zone, and then orange and then… red….

Rada seems to be doing fine with the zones and she even won a ‘prize’ last week for good behavior in class. But the notion of concentrating on discpline this much saddens me. It saddens me that she still doesn’t know the names of all her classmates in her class. It saddens me that she still has a hard time saying good-bye to me in the morning. Pre-school was not like this.

Rada’s teacher seemed gentle, friendly and calm upon first meetings. But now I am seeing more and more her turning the other way when there are difficulites. Already she seems overwhelmed just getting the children to line up and go into the building.  She seems so young to me, and very much alone. Pre-school on the other hand, had a close-knit team of colleague-teachers who supported each other and the children.

I knew that this particular school was stricter and more traditional than others, but when I visited I also sensed a strong feeling of purpose and mission among the staff; they all seemed to care very much about their work and the kids. So I took a chance. I also liked the proximity to our home. I liked the idea of Rada walking to school and for me I liked the relief of being close to work.

But when I hear about other kindergartens and how they’re going about doing things, my heart grips in my chest and I wonder if I am doing the right thing by my daughter. We are certainly not Kansas anymore, for sure. It is an inner city school with inner city problems and issues.

But I am in it for the long haul, at least for the year. (And I’ve decided I’d better get involved and engaged because I’m going to make the best of it.)


{ 2 } Comments

  1. Mary | September 19, 2006 at 7:18 am | Permalink

    Sorry that it hasn’t gone as you had hoped/expected. Is making a change where it’s still early a possibility? If not, I definitely think you’d be doing the right thing by get as involved as possible. And who knows??? Maybe then you’ll see it’s not quite as “bad” as it seems from a distance!

  2. Molly | September 19, 2006 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    Mary, you always say the most helpful things. I think I’m going to stay with it for the year and I have a feeling it will get better as we get to know the staff and students and families better.