Curbside Chicken

Okay, so many of you know that his little town of 60,000, surrounded by Boston on three sides, has some quirky – okay, down right absurd – parking rules. First, there is no overnight on-street parking. Second, there is a sporadically enforced two-hour on-street parking limit during the day. I could care less about the two hour limit because they don’t really enforce it. The real issue is the overnight parking ban. What the hell is it good for? Let me tell you the official town reasons for the ban:

1. Safety: if someone is walking along the sidewalk late at night, a scary person with bad intentions could be hiding behind one of those cars (gasp! What about the bushes, walls, and other things that this scary person could be hiding behind? Ban those too, I say).
2. Street cleaning: “We need to clean the streets. If there are cars in the way, then we can’t clean the streets.” (Hello, ever heard of a street cleaning schedule?).
3. Tradition: This ban has been in effect since the late 1800s.

Okay, I thank the Town of Brookline for giving me three solid reasons for the ban. I am now convinced that this is nessecary. Perhaps the one major reason for the parking ban (they won’t admit to this) is the revenue from parking violations. Each violation is $30 a pop (not to mention late fees). According to the Town, there are, on average, about 300 violators every night…let’s do the math: 300 x 30 = 9000. 9000 x 365 days = 3285000. HOLY COW, $3,285,000 a year in parking ban violations revenue.

I have figured out the real reason for the ban: money. In addition, there are countless property owners (including the town) who rent parking spaces the range anywhere from $100 to $500 a month. I guess you have to be rich if you want to live in Brookline and rely on a car to get to your place of employment.

Solutions. I’ll post some solutions later.

Did I say that was my last official post? Well, I lied. This one is….I HOPE!
Again, thank you.

Well folks, that time has come. Like all good things, this must come to an end. I am officially retiring from the Blog business. With four months, seven posts, and one comment under my belt, I feel that this is the best time to shut it down, pack it up, and move on out! Note that I am ‘officially’ retiring, so I may sneak a few posts here and there just to entice you all.
Thank you to the one person who left a comment. Your generosity and courage to say something made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just for the second that it took to read it.

Cheers.

Regards.

Best.

Sincerely.

Yours.

As Ever.

As Always.

Amen.

Well, it looks like there is finally another post to ‘ye olde’ blog. Yep, you are reading it now. God, I am so tired. I feel like I can just pass out! Anyway, do any of yuze watch Shalom in the Home on one of those cable stations? It’s an interesting show about this rabbi who tries to help families communicate better and live peacefully together. Basically it is just a marriage counseling session…Zzzz.
Now that’s news that will put you to sleep!

I want to share some important information with you. I have finally chosen a new general topic for this very important blog: News That Will Put You To Sleep. Yes, you’ve heard it here first, but don’t tell anyone, it’s just between you and me. I’m leaking it early to generate some bzz before I officially announce the sweeping change.

I must warn you, however. You must not operate heavy machinery or operate motor vehicles whilst reading this blog. You see, the contents of this blog has the same potency as about 12,000 Lunesta tablets. Yes, 12,000. Yes, Lunesta (with out the unpleasant side-effects, of course). Yes, very sleepy.

Folks, during these trying times for this blog, we need to stand united, together, asleep. Can you feel the energy? The buzz? The POWER? I will be holding a news conference in my dead Rose Garden later today.

Attention: In a dramatic twist of fate, I have decided to change the ‘focus’ of this weblog. After weeks of pondering the next-steps for the blog, I came to the unrational realization that the “Nothing” theme is simiply taking too much time out of my life. I found myself spending days thinking and writing about nothing and I’ve simply grown tired of it. I all would do is eat, sleep, and drink nothing. I have felt a certain emptiness with that subject, and it scared me. So, my fans, worshipers, and followers, the days of Nothing are over. Join me as I embark on a new focus for this blog. I can assure you that the new theme will fill and even surpass the void left by the Nothing theme. God have mercy and God save the Queen (while we’re at it).

As sad is this may be, all good things must come to an end. But don’t fret, my fans, for the past postings about Nothing will forever remain archived!

Please stay tuned for further important updates/announces/and/or instructions.

As you can tell, this is a weblog (blog) about nothing.  From now on, all posts will be about, you guessed it, nothing.  It’s going to be boring and dry.  In fact, it already is.  I don’t want to see any interesting comments, unless they are about nothing. NOTHING!  No news, no politics, no sports, no commentary on the latest restaurant, no rants on how many gas guzzling SUV are in Brookline,  no links to  the latest fight to internet neutrality, no statistics on the Red Sox (I’m sure their either winning or losing), and absolutely, positively, no funny jokes.

Let me summarize utilizing bullet points:

• this blog is about nothing
• it will be boring
• i gave examples of what is not going to be posted on this blog above
• enjoy the blog!

Check back often for the latest and greatest musings, rants, commentary, and news about nothing.

Okay, I figured out how to post.  This is exciting.  Yay.  Can’t you tell?  What is the point of blogs anyway?  Who really wants to read one’s daily thoughts?  I suppose they are useful for opinions on news, sports, consumer goods, the latest and greatest website/software app, etc.  But really, a blog should not be your first or only source for news or information about something.  They are merely someone’s opinions.  Go seek out multiple news reports from your trusted journalists, form an opinion, then hit the blogs and see what other people are saying.  I think that is the best way to get a perspective on an issue.

This is my first entry.  Welcome!  How do you add a new entry?