Curbside Chicken

Okay, so many of you know that his little town of 60,000, surrounded by Boston on three sides, has some quirky – okay, down right absurd – parking rules. First, there is no overnight on-street parking. Second, there is a sporadically enforced two-hour on-street parking limit during the day. I could care less about the two hour limit because they don’t really enforce it. The real issue is the overnight parking ban. What the hell is it good for? Let me tell you the official town reasons for the ban:

1. Safety: if someone is walking along the sidewalk late at night, a scary person with bad intentions could be hiding behind one of those cars (gasp! What about the bushes, walls, and other things that this scary person could be hiding behind? Ban those too, I say).
2. Street cleaning: “We need to clean the streets. If there are cars in the way, then we can’t clean the streets.” (Hello, ever heard of a street cleaning schedule?).
3. Tradition: This ban has been in effect since the late 1800s.

Okay, I thank the Town of Brookline for giving me three solid reasons for the ban. I am now convinced that this is nessecary. Perhaps the one major reason for the parking ban (they won’t admit to this) is the revenue from parking violations. Each violation is $30 a pop (not to mention late fees). According to the Town, there are, on average, about 300 violators every night…let’s do the math: 300 x 30 = 9000. 9000 x 365 days = 3285000. HOLY COW, $3,285,000 a year in parking ban violations revenue.

I have figured out the real reason for the ban: money. In addition, there are countless property owners (including the town) who rent parking spaces the range anywhere from $100 to $500 a month. I guess you have to be rich if you want to live in Brookline and rely on a car to get to your place of employment.

Solutions. I’ll post some solutions later.