More Patton Oswalt

know this is cultural suicide, for me to admit that I can’t stand the
fucking noise anymore. I have friends who are kissing their mid-40’s
who’ve decided, out of desperation and fear of death, that they’re 22
years old forever, and could ya turn it UUUUUPP??? Whoooo! They’ll
sacrifice clarity of thought and peace of mind and a lot of other shit
so they can fool themselves into thinking they’re still riding the
crest of the Youth Wave.

idiots. I can’t wait to be an old man. And to speed that process along,
I’ve got my pair of Howard Leight earplugs and a pair of Bose
noise-canceling headphones. ‘Cuz I’m in revolt. ‘Cuz I DON’T WANT TO

when you’re twenty, and still young and sexy, it’s a good thing to have
the music loud. ‘Cuz you’re not going to impress anyone by saying
something startling or original or truly funny. That’s the age when you
rely on your looks. Or, if you look the way I did at twenty, you become
a comedian, so you have a spotlight on you and a microphone in front of
your yap, so you have a fighting chance.

One Response to “More Patton Oswalt”

  1. guy
    June 25th, 2005 | 9:47 am

    oh yeah, i’m all earplugs these days. etymotic research if you’re interested. at first it was embarassing to use. but these days i plug in proudly whereever i go.