Something A Director Doesn’t Want To Hear From Her Actor On Day Of Shoot:

“You don’t want me to memorize these lines, do you?”


I know Final Cut Pro.

Puffy Old Men

It is frustrating for most of us women that men are considered
“distinguished” as they age while women don’t get the same respect. But
lately I’ve been noticing some male actors in movies that hit a certain
point where they are no longer “distinguished,” they just look bad.
Steve Martin in Shopgirl is one. He looks puffy. Or as my companion said, “like he’s been floating in water for a few weeks.” Another is Richard Gere in Bee Season
(a terrible, terrible movie by the way–just read the book instead). He
also looked puffy and flabby. It’s not fatness–neither of them are
overweight–it’s just a sort of loose flabbiness. I guess these are men
who have forsaken plastic surgery, maybe that’s why it’s noticeable.
And now, unfortunately, I must say that the super-sexy Jean Reno has
hit that puffy point. I am watching the (terrible) French film Crimson Rivers right now, and he has the Martin-Gere middle-aged puffiness that even his supersexy voice can’t make up for. Sad.


We screened the footage of my werewolf spoof last night and people laughed, which is good. But I laughed more than anyone…like uncontrollable painful laughter…embarassing. Something about viewing your own footage, your own connection to a project, makes it so much funnier–seeing someone bring your dialogue to life, their mannerisms filling out the characters you created, intensifies the humor. It’s not unlike the way new parents are so delighted with the smallest and most mundane things that their new baby can do: look, he smiled, isn’t that amazing? Um, not so much. We screened other people’s films which I found mildly amusing but which the makers were hysterical over, so I’m not alone. And I’m guessing that the more movies you make, the less intense this effect becomes.


Don’t bother seeing Shopgirl. Just see Me And You And Everyone We Know instead. I think that’s what Shopgirl is
aspiring to, but ends up just a flabby hollow spineless film with
absolutely zero chemistry between any of the characters. Jason
Schwartzman is trying hard to save this sinking ship, but even his
wackiness couldn’t save it. Claire Danes and Steve Martin are
incredibly boring here, and Steve Martin is boring and puffy. I hear
the novel on which it was based is a lot wackier than the movie, but
it’s unfortunate that in the translation to the screen it lost all of
the interesting stuff.

A.O. Scott seems to think
there’s more to this film…and I wish I could agree–I would like the
film he describes. But it’s not the film I saw. Maybe the novel had all
of this, but the movie is just a lifeless blob.

This and That

I posted my gift-copy of Napoleon Dynamite
on and it sold in less than an hour. I can’t believe people
like that retarded movie so much. I also posted my gift-copy of Giant, but no nibbles yet.

Also, I got called for jury duty. I’ve been living in Cambridge 3
months. Somerville never called me. Brookline never called me. Maryland
never called me. But 3 months in Cambridge and I’m called to serve.

Also, I lowered my cholesterol by 50 points in the past year.

Mirror Mirror

You really are forced to acknowledge something about your history with
men when you get reacquainted with an ex-boyfriend via an IM invitation
which informs you that his IM handle is “assface971”.

Hot Hasid

My companion at the Opening Night Gala for the Boston Jewish Film Festival thought I was nuts when I said I thought the star of the night’s film was hot. The film was Ushpizin, a fiction film (the first ever) made by and about orthodox Jews in Israel. Here’s the sexy Moshe:

The star, Shuli Rand, was an actor before he turned religious, and he has definite charisma. And a great deep voice. A sort of brooding quality. Even when wearing a shtreimel.

But beyond Moshe’s brooding sexiness, it was an interesting film. A fable, nicely told. And I loved the female co-star, who is also Rand’s wife in real life–he would only make the film with her, as it would be improper otherwise. I love that she’s a big woman–a big tough broad whom he adores. We need to see more of that in movies.

Hasten the Learning Curve

You know the scene in The Matrix where Keanu Reeves gets his head hooked up to a computer and they download all kinds of fighting skills and knowledge etc into his brain? So he just goes to sleep and wakes up and says “I know Kung Fu”? Tonight I was wishing this was possible as I sat for hours learning Final Cut Pro. God how boring. I want to know how to use it, and know it well, but Jesus I wish there were a way to just download it into my brain without all the trial and error and boooooring letures. I just want to go to sleep, then wake up and say “I know Final Cut Pro.”