Fasten Your Seatbelts

We’re starting
to see these damn things everywhere.  What at first seemed either
a sick joke or a classic American shill has been turning into a nightmare
on
the
sidewalks
of America. 

Since I saw my first Segway from the window of a $10
Super Wei Hung Chinatown direct bus as it pulled into Manhattan,
they have been proliferating like the mushrooms in my roommate’s closet.
Last week I saw a whole family of them, Ma and Pa in their normal-sized
Segways, and Junior and Sissy on cute little scaled-down models, tooling
around Cambridge near the Harvard campus. I’m pretty sure they were speaking
a foreign language.

This has to stop.  These things are taking over out sidewalks, making
them unsafe for skateboarders, roller bladers and bicycle messengers.  They
are hated by panhandlers, feared by little old ladies and viciously resented
and chased by dogs. I would imagine they are decimating a squirrel population
at this time of year out for nothing more than
an easy
nut
on
a mild autumn day.

Now, the latest bombshell form Segway – they are unsafe! Who knew!  Seems
the company is recalling thousands of the evil little platforms because when
the batteries run low they throw their riders to the pavement, resulting
in a number of serious injuries.

from the New York Times