New York State Rudeway

In the spirit of dumping on New York, let me submit these customer complaint
forms smuggled over the border from the New York State Thruway Authority
Bunker. Not being one to throw fuel on a bonfire (unless it is New York
Strip burning at the steak), Dowbrigade was forever scarred at the tender
age of 17 after being arrested for hitchhiking (and possession) on the
Thruway after one of those cretinous tolltakers called the State Police
on him.

Here is a sample from the latest round of complaints:

Of course, my overweening loathing of all things New Yorkesque is
due to the imminent defeat of my beloved Red Sox at the hands of the
New York Junkies in the ALCS playoffs. Once again, defeat is our inevitable
harvest of autumn bitterness, as we all know it is impossible that the
Sox win two in a row at Junkie Stadium.  Even if we outplay the
bastards, the hometown officials are sure to swing the decision to New
York.  After all, it isn’t called the Umpire State for nothing.

from Smoking Gun