Updated Religious Calendar

2

Some interesting developments on the Dowbrigade
Religion Project
. Like all fledgling movements it is meeting with
some skepticism and resistance from the major players in the God game,
but hopefully
faith, fervor and fantasy will win out in the end. Meanwhile, the project
continues to develop.

We are honored to announce the immanent ascention of
Denis
Moser
, an exemplary FactMeister and winner of the Third
Reich Wine Hunt
, as the first and foremost Archbishop Extraordinaire.
Said staid position infers upon its holder absolutely no responsibility
or reward
other than smug satisfaction and possible Federal and State tax exemptions,
depending on solicitations currently before the American Council of Religions.

In addition, one of our early projects has been to update the antiquated
weekly calendar which has been in common use since the Roman times.Talk
about overdue for an upgrade! Most great religious movements, like the
Gregorians for example, take a stab
at rewriting the Calendar.  What better way to get people marching
to your beat? Well, we have updated the whole weekday paradigm by integrating
it with the bleeding edge world of corporate sponsorship.

We are currently in negotiation with a number of forward-looking corporate
entities for 10-year contracts (DecaDays) for naming rights to the Days
of the Week.  Although we have not nailed down all of the exact
dollar amounts, here is the provisional lineup as it stands now. Of course,
these selections are subject to change as better offers flood in. Basically, this is what all new calendars would look like:

SunDay
Microsoft Monday
Texaco
Tuesday

Westing-
house

Wednesday

TimeWarner
Thursday
Federated
Department
Store Friday
SaturnDay
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Finally, in terms of our evolving Dogma, the Dowbrigade has concluded that
the true power and mystery of religion resides in the SEARCH for Truth,
rather than in any abstract Truth Itself, which, if it indeed exists,
probably cannot be comprehended by Mortal Man.

Therefore most of what we plan to do on the religion front is speculate
and investigate the really Big Questions, like "Why are we here?" and
"Can we trust the Universe?" and "Why is no food Blue, except Blueberries,
which really aren’t?" Stay tuned..

2 Comments

  1. Dennis Moser

    November 13, 2003 @ 1:36 pm

    1

    Hmmm…perhaps we should take a stab at the monthly calendar as well…potential for twelve more (money-making!) sponsors there, too! Or maybe, with 52 weeks, we should go for NAMING WEEKS! More funding!

    And then, of course, the Meso-american approach of a combined lunar/solar calendar that gives each DAY an unique name…and runs on a 52-YEAR cycle…consider the naming rights’ possibilities there!

    His Extraordinariness,

    Dennis FactMeister Moser, AE

  2. Sofia

    August 24, 2005 @ 8:57 pm

    2

    Thank you for the info. http://www.bignews.com