Archive for January 13th, 2004

Japan-Korea Flame War Heats Up

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Korean and Japanese Internet users are swiping at each other, posing
such images as the, "Korea as dog eating country" on Japanese websites,
while "54th anniversary celebrating the day nuclear bomb hit Japan" stamp
(below) is posted in Korean cyber space.

from the Marmot

Tit for Tat (Boob-free Story)

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Brazilians, laid back and proud of their heritage, are understandably
upset at the newest Homeland Security brainstorm. Seeing as none of the
9/11 terrorists, in fact none of the terrorists or terror suspects identified
thus far, have been Brazilian, speak Portuguese, or have even VISITED
Brazil, how does it make sense that every Brazilian tourist, businessman,
student, man, woman, child or grandmother, must be photographed and fingerprinted before
being admitted to the US.?

They decided that two can play the Gestapo game.  Starting last
week, all AMERICANS entering Brazil need to be photographed and fingerprinted.  A
nice symmetrical service gesture, redolent with ridiculous logic and
innate fair play, but somehow uncharacteristically and unacceptably rude for our
southerly fellow Americans, and beside a severe drag on much appreciated tourism from
the north.

So to ameliorate the negative effects of the gesture, US arrivals at
the Rio de Janeiro airport are getting a packet of souvenirs and gifts
along with their mug shots! Think Stormbanfueher Ridge would consider something similar to
encourage foreign tourists to keep arriving on our shores? Maybe we could
give them those clever little models of the Statue of Liberty, except
with a lamp that lights up with the different colors of the terror alert
levels…..

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) – American tourists arriving in Brazil must
still be photographed and fingerprinted, but those who enter through
Rio de Janeiro are getting flowers, jewelry and T-shirts along with the
red tape.

"This is our way of saying that Rio de Janeiro loves American tourists,
no matter what," said Fuad Atala, spokesman for the Rio de Janeiro
tourism board.

 

from the AP

Dean Starting to Look Like Sacrificial Lamb – Sharpton Threatening to Eat Dean

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Is it just us, or is Howard Dean starting to look more and more like
the sacrificial lamb, like the golden goose, or like the fatted calf. Little
Hansel being fattened up for the Wicked Witch. Do we detect a subtle undercurrent
of opportunistic defeatism in the camps of
the other candidates?

After all, it is looking increasingly likely that all Dean is in a position
to win is a chance to go down in ignominious and career-ending defeat.
Recent American history has not been kind to losing Presidential Candidates.
Gore has turned into a cranky and eccentric uncle, apparently permanently
unhinged by the vicious sucker punch that knocked him out of the Presidency
when he was ahead on all of the scorecards.

Before Gore, the loser was Bob Dole, reduced to doing Viagra ads. Before
Dole, in ’92 it was Bush Sr. and Dan Quayle, and after that election
they both retired from politics for all practical purposes. Dukakis and
Mondale before them? Don’t make me laugh.

In fact, the last loser to go on later to reach the ultimate
prize was Richard Nixon, and we all know how that sad and twisted tale
turned out now, don’t we?

So is it any wonder if most of the losing candidates in this losers
rodeo end up shedding crocodile tears and, with secret relief, slinking
away to lick their wounds, husband their resources, and plot their return
to
the fray
in
’08.  Whereas the "winner" will end up sloppy road kill under the
Cheny-Rove tire tracks, and disappear forever into the pages of history.

The bottom line is that Americans hate a loser. They don’t like having
them around, reminding us of defeat by their
very presence.  Better
to move on, to new faces, fresh meat, optimistic promises, and unrealized
potential.

The Dowbrigade has a feeling that the field is going to narrow considerably
in coming weeks, after the first few primaries, as some of the lesser
candidates start running out of money and gas.  Several of the big
names will probably go through the motions up until the convention.  Then
it’ll be: "Gosh darn that Howard, looks like he has the votes to be the
candidate. Whelp, we did all we could. Now we’ve got to get out there and help him try to beat Bush." Yeah, good luck guys.

Condom Soup Wins Triple-play Prize

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These
California women win today’s "Triple Play Prize". They
got a free bowl of colorful clam chowder, powerful medication for stress
and anxiety from their doctors, and a nice fat settlement from the restaurant.
You go, girls!

Four women have settled a lawsuit against a California restaurant when
one of them allegedly found a condom in her soup.

The women had sued McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant, claiming
negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Laila Sultan was eating clam chowder at the restaurant in Irvine, in
February last year, when she bit into an unwrapped, rolled-up condom.The
case was due to begin in Orange County Superior Court yesterday, but
the two sides reached a settlement. Details were not released.

In her claim, Sultan said she spent 15 minutes vomiting in a restaurant
toilet after spitting out the condom. The 48-year-old says she has seen
a psychiatrist and taken medication for depression and anxiety following
the incident.

from Ananova