Dean’s Primal Scream Spells Doom

The switch went off in the Dowbrigade’s mind just about when
Howard Dean let loose with his primal scream, after screeching out the
names of all of the states he was expecting to win. There was a fevered, ferrel gleam in his eye. At that moment, we were not sure we would want him as the coach of our kid’s youth soccer team, let alone the free world. Stick a fork in him,
we thought, he’s done.

We never really warmed to the Doctor, although
we continue to believe his campaign is the most innovative of the lot,
and a harbringer of what’s to come in American politics. But the
guy is just too tightly wound, and gives us the uneasy feeling that he
could explode at any moment. Of course, the race is far from over, and the Dowbrigade has been wrong before.

That unsightly gush of raw aggression and emotion last night was just
too over the top for mainstream America, more accustomed to circumspect
smugness or Patrician pandering than to wild-eyed war cries. Throwing
gasoline on the fire this morning the press was full of reports that
Dean has suffered in the past from Panic Attacks, and worse, has sought
and received mental health treatment for them. As Thomas Eagleton can
testify, Americans recoil at the juxtaposition of President of the United
States and Mental Health Problems, as well they might.

So goodnight Doctor Dean, get some rest and learn to chill out a bit.
And the rest of you Deanies better start thinking about finding a candidate
who really does “Get It”.