Black Widow Devours 400-lb Cookie

Once
again, a petite woman has beaten the field in an open division eating
contest, this time chicken wings. In the current case,
the finalists were Sonya ‘Black Widow’ Thomas, a 98-pounder who began
competitive
eating
when she worked at a Burger King in Alexandria Virginia, and Ed ‘Cookie’
Jarvis, a 406 heavyweight from New York.  Of course, the Black Widow
out-ate the Cookie, 167 wings to 165, in 32 minutes.

This is not the first time we have reported on the Black Widow’s killer
track record.  In November we carried a
story about how she wolfed
down 7-3/4 pounds of holiday food in 12 minutes to defeat
a pair of 400-pound rivals and win the Thanksgiving Invitational eating
contest.

There
is obviously some Eastern Mystical Mind Control thing going on here,
some neural short-curcuit of the gag reflex, which may come natural
to certain rare individuals but which we are convinced can be taught
and is passed down from generation to generation in secret eating societies
who use their skills to unknown ends.  Some of these eating contest
winners may be renegade members of the eating cults seeking to capitalize
on their occult skills. You decide.

from Ananova