Archive for February 3rd, 2004

Dowbrigade Reserves US Rights to Shag Workout

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A London gym has developed a new fitness regime that
it guarantees will increase the frequency, intensity and quality of customer’s
orgasms.

The Shag Workout is being launched at Gymbox in Holborn – and some participants
claim to have reached a climax during test classes.

Gym bosses say the class involves a three-step process that aims to develop
sexual technique, confidence and endurance resulting in a more satisfying
session in the sack whilst improving fitness levels.

A Gymbox spokesman said: "Once inhibitions have been lowered and specific
muscles targeted 25% of women participants in the test classes have reported
experiencing the elusive and much sought after multiple orgasm for the
first time in their lives."

from Ananova

Dead Irish Author Blasts Blogs

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James Joyce absolutely excoriates Movable Type Bloggers,
apparently from beyond the grave. He makes the Dowbrigade feel like
a worthless piece
of shit even though we have never even seen Movable Type….

You are all pretentious twats

Every last
one of you. You’re all latte-sipping, iMac-using, suburban-living tertiary-industry-working
WASPs who offer
absolutely
no new insights on anything whatsoever apart from maybe one specialist
field if we’re lucky. Most of you think that you’re writing original
content and that you’re making a contribution by licensing your spewings
under Creative Commons "Some Rights Reserved" licences, just
because it’s the hip thing to do. You think you know all there is to
say about blogging because you understand the concept of HTML and CSS,
but the horrible truth is that 40% of you are all using the same shitty
default layout. Then you take pictures of yourselves looking pensive
or making vague allusions to mythology.

from Kuro5hin(thanks Jay)

Hot Curry

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Adam Curry, who the Dowbrigade likes to think of as a sort of Daniel
Boone of the Cyber-frontier, having exotic episodic adventures the stuff
of which dreams are made, is at it again….

Wow, I just got word that we received approval from the dutch ministry
of defense to broadcast live from Camp Smitty, Iraq. We leave on the
12th. I will be blogging the entire trip, we even hope to set up a
webcam, since we already are bringing our own uplink and will have
about 380Kbs at our disposal 🙂

Wow! Adam Curry Live from Camp Smitty! Wonder whether the live radio
will be webcast? And will any of it be in English, or Dutch only? We
anxiously await details and will post them in this space….

from Adam Curry’s Weblog

Gen-Mod Animal of the Day

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Six Weeks – Tobacco Free

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Today the Dowbrigade celebrates 6 weeks without a cigarette. Thanks for the nudge, Dave….

Initializing Drive

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Why is it that some presidents become known for posterity by their initials, and for some it never quite seems to catch on? John F. Kennedy is the prime example of an overwhelmingly initialized politician; anyone hearing the initials JFK thinks immediately of President Kennedy. On the other hand, the current President’s father was never widely known as GHB, which sounds like a date rape drug.

Nor do we call his son GWB or HIS predecessor WJC, even in headlines. President Johnson is forever memorialized as LBJ, but who refers to Jimmy Carter as JEC? Who even remembers that his middle name is Earl? Since he never uses it, headline writers could have gone with JC, but that seems a bit presumptuous, even for the famously egocentric Carter.

RMN does bring to mind Nixon, with his mnemonic “Millhouse” in the middle, but Ronald Reagan was never labeled RWR (reminding us of nothing so much as rewritable media) or the abbreviated RR (shades of Monopoly money).

Much abbreviating is done in an attempt to shave syllables. Most three letter abbreviations can be pronounced in three syllables (although that pesky “W” takes three syllables all by itself). Presidents with snappy one or two syllable last names (Bush or Ford) seem less likely to be initialized than longwinded names like Roosevelt (FDR) or Kennedy.

How about the current crop of presidential wannabes? Howard Dean, as far as we can tell by reading his on-line bios, HAS NO middle name, and referring to him as HD reminds us of the default name of the hard drive of every computer we’ve ever bought. The same is true of John Edwards and Joe Lieberman – it seems the campaigns have decided that two names are more than enough.

The one candidate who is flirting with a three letter appellation is the front runner, John Forbes Kerry. Although publicly labeling himself the second coming of JFK is something he has avoided thus far, he is clearly not adverse to an indirect association in the minds of voters. Popular pundits, however, have been left in a quandary; they cannot start referring to him as JFK, Jr. as that melancholy appellation has already painted its tragic arc across the national consciousness. Perhaps JFK II, or JFK redux? On such shaky petards is history often unceremoniously hoisted.

Last Football Story of the Season

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And
so we bid a fond adieu to the 2003-04 football season in America. As attention
turns to our OTHER full-contact sport, Presidential Politics, let us put
the pigskins back in the closet and try to concentrate on weightier matters
of national policy.

Where, for example, do the seven Democratic Dwarves stand on the Janet
Jackson controversy? Where is Uncle Jesse when we need him?  Can
mainstream America survive the revelation that women’s breasts, like
the socially acceptable male model, have nipples?

As for sports-related cheesecake, your indefatigable reporter is preparing
an extensive tour of the Southern Hemisphere to track down rumors of
a rising star on the Brazilian beach volleyball circuit who can reportedly
do amazing things with volleyballs and sea cucumbers. Stay tuned…….

(photo from Sunday’s first
annual Lingerie Bowl
at the Coliseum in
Los Angeles)