Last Football Story of the Season

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And
so we bid a fond adieu to the 2003-04 football season in America. As attention
turns to our OTHER full-contact sport, Presidential Politics, let us put
the pigskins back in the closet and try to concentrate on weightier matters
of national policy.

Where, for example, do the seven Democratic Dwarves stand on the Janet
Jackson controversy? Where is Uncle Jesse when we need him?  Can
mainstream America survive the revelation that women’s breasts, like
the socially acceptable male model, have nipples?

As for sports-related cheesecake, your indefatigable reporter is preparing
an extensive tour of the Southern Hemisphere to track down rumors of
a rising star on the Brazilian beach volleyball circuit who can reportedly
do amazing things with volleyballs and sea cucumbers. Stay tuned…….

(photo from Sunday’s first
annual Lingerie Bowl
at the Coliseum in
Los Angeles)

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