A Tale of Two Photos

The first skirmishes are being fought over President Bush’s incomplete
military records and Senator Kerry’s Vietnam-era association with that
Bete Noir of American Politics, Hanoi Jane Fonda.  While it speaks
volumes about the charisma and character of our current President that
no one remembers whether he was there or not for long periods of his
war-time service, the attention being paid to purported photos of Kerry
and Fonda seems to be pure celebrity scandalizing.

While only one authentic picture from the era has turned up so far (the
one with a blurry Kerry in the background) enterprising photoshoppers
have already come up with a number of fake realities in which John and
Jane were together, front and center.

Well, frankly, so what? Who cares if they protested the war together
or even spent a drug-drenched weekend at the Hefner Mansion with Che
Guevara and Charles Manson.  Hell, they were both attractive young
singles, and it was the 60’s.

Obviously, these photos are the work of rank amateurs. Carl Rove and
company do much cleaner work than this, and anyway, we doubt a close
examination of 20-something personal histories is somewhere the Bush
campaign wants to go.  The President has admitted that when he was
young and irresponsible, he was, well, young and irresponsible. We’ve
all been there.

However, our original point is that reality and our perception of it
is more plastic and mutable with each passing electoral cycle. What we
are seeing unfold on our quadrennial screens is the convergence of government,
big business and show business. The three pillars of the American Empire
are putting on The Greatest Show on Earth, and we all have front row
seats.

Just sit back, folks, and watch the show. Don’t feel bad if you don’t
have a horse in the race, as the winner gets deballed and the losers
end up as dog food. The American public is so hooked on entertainment
that nothing less than a wardrobe malfunction can capture their attention,
a fact that has surely not escaped the strategists for the Kerry and
Bush.

So stay tuned, Sports Fans. The Dowbrigade is willing to bet real money
that the news streams Rove and Company are cooking up as we blog will
make these weak attacks look like amateur night at the karaoke bar. And
John Kerry, as an authentic warrior and unrepentant Yalie, is a good
bet to give as good as he gets.

By the time this one is over, the Dowbrigade predicts, we will be posting photos of George Bush cavorting naked with the Olsen twins, and John Kerry cavorting naked with the Bush twins.

The election itself may be as managed as a World Wrestling Federation
Super Slam, but we are sure the half-time show will be worth watching…..

Meanwhile, in an Orwellian twist, George Bush and Tony Blair have been
nominated for the Nobel
Peace Prize.  Only a Peace Prize awarded
in the name of the inventor of dynamite could be given to the instigators
of the most one-sided war since the Invasion of Granada.

Fake photo story from Newsday