Archive for February 25th, 2004

Lumberjack Guide to Oral Sex

1

On
Valentine’s Day, nothing says "I love you" like oral sex.
It’s a great way to express your appreciation or love for someone.

First off, pick a place and a position.

Thus begins a graphic "how
to" guide on performing a sex
ac
t, published by the student newspaper at Northern Arizona University,
appropriately named "The
Lumberjack
". University administrators are flummoxed,
and stalling for time, with a meeting to deal with the scandal set
for next week.

The article is actually quite entertaining if a bit clinical, and includes
culturally obscure gems like " And as Stifler showed us in "American
Pie II," the prostate is very sensitive."

Many questions spring
to mind. Is Northern Arizona a public univeristy or private? How much
is in-state tuition? (After reading this our interested-in-nothing
son may come around) Is this the sort of thing the "H-Bomb" wants
to publish at Harvard? Are lumberjacks and jackettes any good at oral
sex? Are they expecting a rise in their applicants as a result of all this exposure?

Article from AP

Complete
Oral Sex article
from "The
Lumberjack
"

Cheney Makes “Unrefusable” Offer To Be on Ticket

ø

The Dowbrigade has long maintained that the George Bush Fairy Tale Presidency
was just that, and that after George’s bedtime the grownups come over
the house and truly do the nation’s bidness.

It is clear to us that Dick Cheney,
the putative VP normally found hanging by his heels at an "undisclosed
location" and as hard to pin down as a blob of mercury on a teflon trampoline,
is the
principal
power behind the throne, although it is conceivably true that he in turn
is merely fronting for a further ring of powers so shadowy that their
real names have never passed the lips of a single member of the press
or public.

On the other hand, until recently we believed that holding these opinions
thrust up onto the outer fringes of American political discourse, with
the Area 51 Troopers and the Larouche Loonies. Well, check out Robert
Kutter’s featured editorial in today’s Boston Globe.

DICK CHENEY is the most powerful vice president in US history. Indeed, there
is a fair amount of circumstantial evidence that Cheney, not Bush, is the real
power at the White House and Bush the figurehead.

Though Bush is already on record that he wants to keep Cheney as his
running mate this November, I would not be at all surprised if Cheney
were dropped from the Republican ticket. For one thing, Cheney could
become a real liability.

from the Boston Globe

Revolutionary Technology

1

When the Dowbrigade was a kid, one of his fascinations was for medieval
warfare; suits of armor, the evolution of broadswords,halberds and crossbows,
and of course, the WMD’s of the age, the catapult.  Awesome weapons.  In
an era when the dominant technology for thousands of years had favored
the evolution of ever more massive fortresses, defenses based on unscalable
walls and uncrossable moats, catapults offered a way to attack from
the air, terrible pestilent rain that presaged all of terrible tools
of modern warfare.

The New York Times has a pretty cool article concerning an aspect of
the catapult phenomena we had never really considered; as a manifestation
of the intersection between science and politics….

In
wars of antiquity, no weapon struck greater terror than the catapult.
It was the heavy artillery of that day, the sturdy springboard that shot
menacing payloads over fortress walls and into enemy camps – flaming
missiles, diseased corpses, lethal arrows and stony projectiles.

For centuries on end, at least until the proliferation of gunpowder in the 15th-century
West, catapults saw action as the early weapons of mass destruction. They were
prized assets in an arms race and had profound effects on affairs of state. Sound
familiar?

Perhaps that is why a small but growing number of historians and classics scholars
are taking a closer look at the role of catapults not only in warfare, but also
the politics of antiquity. Out of their careful re-reading of old texts, combined
with archaeological finds, has emerged a revised view of the convergence of science
and political power in earlier times.

from the New
York Times