A Case of Mistaken Identity

Hello, readers, this is an aside from your erstwhile editor, Michael Feldman.  Several of my well-meaning friends and syncopants have recently written to express concern and advice that I begin to be a bit more circumspect in my postings, especially if I ever hope to ever work again in the United States. To these confused souls let me reiterate certain basic ground rules of the Dowbrigade.

1) The Dowbrigade News is FICTION, not fact.  The Dowbriugade himself is an invented character whose resemblace to the actual physical Michael Feldman is due to the famous authorial admonition to “write about what you know”. Any resemblance beyond that to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Confusing Michael Feldman and the Dowbrigade is somewhat akin to walking up to Martin Sheen on the street and telling him you voted for him in the last election.

2) As you have surely realized by now, one of the dominant traits of the Dowbrigade style (the FICTIONAL CHARACTER) is a tendency to exaggeration and hyperbole, his memory has more holes than a 60-pound wheel of Swiss Cheese, and he often enjoys playing fast and loose with the truth.

3) Finally, even if some of the events described DID bear more than a passing resemblance to actual historical events, legal counsel advises me that THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS HAS EXPIRED on all possible statutory violations.

As to our inability to find work as a result of people confusing fact with fiction, we can only hope that if the popularity of the Dowbrigade continues to grow, someday we WON’T NEED a real job anymore. If that ever happens, watch out, because in terms of wild revelations involving currently prominent figures and organizations, you ain’t seen nothing yet.