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 Once again,
we find ourselves in a tropical paradise where one of the few blemishes
on an ideal environment is the pervasive presence of that plague on the
outdoor lifestyle, the mosquito. Despite the all the weapons and tactics
modern man has developed to control these pests, screened windows and
doors,
the
deadly mosquito-bane DEET, spiral-shaped anti-insect incense, sleeping
under mosquito netting and nightly pre-bedtime mosquito safaris, between
the skeeters and the equatorial sun, the Dowbrigade today looks like
a lobster with the pox. How these tiny pests manage to avoid and outsmart
the dominant species on the planet remains one of the great unsolved
scientific mysteries of our times.
This flies in the face of the prevailing theories of evolutionary biology
which holds that the key to mankind’s preeminence among the millions
of species on earth is due primarily to the enormous and highly specialized
human brain. Personally, we have even started to doubt the the proposition
that we ARE at the apex of the planet’s food chain. After all,
although we do eat almost all of the other plants and animals in our
environment, there exists one other species which regularly feeds on
human flesh – the mosquito.
Think about it. How big can a mosquito’s brain be? As big as the dot
underneath the question mark at the end of this sentence? Smaller still?
Microscopic? And yet, who can deny the intelligence and ingenuity
of this tiny creature, enabling it to time and again avoid capture or
annihilation and achieve its goal of drinking deep from living pools
of human blood.
It’s not just that they are tiny and hard to spot. They are experts
in camouflage, seeking out shadowy corners, hiding on the undersides
of drawers, stuck in cracks of ceiling plaster, adhering to textured
surfaces
as close to its natural coloration until the opportunity to strike undetected
presents itself. How do they manage to get INSIDE our mosquito netting,
despite the best effort of our massive intellects? How do thy know to
hide inside closets, in the weave of dark-colored clothing, or in places
we rarely go, like the unmatched sock drawer or the jumble of wires and
cords behind our computers? How did they figure out how to drink human
blood THROUGH mosquito netting, or clothing, or even caustic chemicals?
And how about their incredible extra-sensory ability to hang out in
a strategic position, cool as cucumbers, even under intense and surreptitious
human observation, until milliseconds before a sweaty palm plasters their
perch with stinging G-force and murderous intent? It can’t be explained
by the dubious theory that they somehow feel the muscles in their victims
arm or leg tense up in anticipation of the fatal slap, because they manage
to do this even when alit on sheets, tables or inanimate reading material.
So our hat is off to this marvelous freak of nature. Mosquitoes were
certainly here before humankind appeared on the Earth, and we suspect
they will be still be here long after we are gone and forgotten. It’s
a good thing they AREN’T any bigger, for if their brains were more than
microscopic it seems certain that they would be the masters, and we the
livestock, kept around in bovine ignorance merely to supply an inexhaustible
supply of nutritious flesh and blood. Come to think about it, how do
we know that isn’t already the case?
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