STEINBRENNER ACQUIRES NUCLEAR WEAPON

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Trades
Alex Rodriguez to Kim Jong-Il: More Proof of Links Between the Evil Empire
and the Axis of Evil

New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner acquired
a nuclear weapon today
in
a transaction
that sent slugger Alex Rodriguez and an undisclosed sum of cash
to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il.

While national security experts were divided over what possible use Kim might
have for the All-Star infielder, there was unanimity of opinion about Mr. Steinbrenner’s
plans for his newly-minted nuclear arsenal.

"The warhead that George Steinbrenner has acquired, if deployed on a ballistic
missile he already owns, could reach Fenway Park in a matter of minutes," said
Donaldson Tobin of the University of Minnesota.

Dr. Tobin, who studies the complex web of relationships between rogue states
and baseball owners, said that no one should be surprised by the transaction
between Mr. Steinbrenner and Kim Jong-Il: "They’ve been friends since the late
1980’s when they met at an Axis of Evil golf outing in Scottsdale."

from the
Borowitz Report via Megastyles

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