A Sense of Sartorial Decorum

Watching
the Red Sox in the World Series is completely different than watching
them clutched in a Death Struggle with the New York Yankees.  Much
easier to relax and enjoy the action, even when the Sox blow a FIVE RUN
lead in the 6th inning. Sure, it’s dramatic, but it doesn’t have us reaching
for the antacids and nerve medicine.

On the notorious WEEI this afternoon we heard the crew
discussing why the win over New York was so big, when we hadn’t really
broken the curse and wouldn’t until we won the World Series. Obviously,
the win over New York was so big because it happened THIS YEAR, just
one year after what happened LAST year.

What happened last year was SO traumatic, so soul-shredding
and debilitating that neither the team nor their fans even started to
recover until the midpoint of the season. Nerves were shattered and emotional
accounts bankrupt to a degree unprecedented in our history as a sports
fan. If the Yankee series had happened a few years ago, or five years
from now, it would have been a spectacular comeback, but not nearly the
cathartic redemption it was this year.

But one thing we really would like to know, is What’s Up
with the Red Sox Batting Helmets? Note, in the first photo, the helmet
of Dave Roberts, who seems to be the lone Sox with a sense of sartorial
decorum.  This is what a major league batting helmet is supposed
to look like.  Look how clearly you can see the scarlet letter.
We are sure Roberts is always impeccably dressed off the field as well.

Now look at the following photos of the batting helmets of the rest of
these clowns.  On the at-bat closeups on the national Fox broadcasts,
you can see these helmets looking absolutely filthy, like they had been
smeared with axle grease or crusty slime.  What is that evil-looking
shit? The bright red "B" is completely covered.  And then
they rub their hand in it before gripping the bat! Is it pine tar? What
the hell is pine tar anyway.  Doesn’t the world series have a dress
code?

photos
from MLB

Game 1: RedSox 11, Cardinals 9