Out of the Shadows and Onto the Throne of St. Peter

Conspiracy
theorists are sure to have a field day with the 13 minutes of silence
between
the emission of gray smoke from the chimney above the Sistine Chapel
and the confirmatory pealing of the bells, but they are ringing now, in
churches and convents and monasteries all around the world, for the
election of Pope Benedict XVI, the first German Pope in a thousand
years.

The newly minted 87-year old Pontiff
stands as proud if stooped testimony to the power of cronyism and the careful
accumulation of influence over time.  After 20 years of slipper-licking
and the careful assemblage of incriminating dossiers on the majority of
his fellow cardinals, involving  clandestine photos of sexual peccadilloes,
documented evidence of shady business deals and recordings of base political
intrigue,
Cardinal Ratso has finally taken
his place,
in
the
best tradition
of the Borgia popes, like his conquering Germanic barbarian antecedents
of a millennia ago, atop the prostrate Holy Roman Empire.

During the final
stages of the previous Papacy, Ratso parlayed his position of trust into
a pulpit for arm-twisting and self-promotion culminating in today’s glorious
ascension.

They say that after the death of
Pope John Paul II, and in anticipation of the present Conclave of Cardinals,
Josef Ratzinger retired to a simple, small cell deep within St. Peter’s,
to commune with God. Visitors were categorically denied admission by the burly
cassocked priests at the door on the grounds that no one could interrupt
the Cardinals conversation with his Lord.

After 5 days and nights, Cardinal
Ratzinger finally emerged. "What did God tell you?" the acolytes and
attendants immediately asked.

"After intensive prayer and meditation,"
the Cardinal intoned, "God has admitted his mistakes and apologized for
being wrong for so long. He looks forward to working together with us now and promised to strive to do better in the future.”

In St. Peter’s Square, Optimism and Concern. As the new
pontiff emerged on the balcony, many cheered wildly while others were
openly and greatly distressed. By By ELISABETH ROSENTHAL, International
Herald Tribune.

from the New York Times