Extreme Coffee Packs Twice the Caffeine

The makers of Shock
Coffee say sleep is overrated, and if you drink their coffee you may
not need much sleep.

Shock Coffee has so much caffeine in it, they say that it’s hyper-caffeinated.

"You’re going to jump. You’re going to wake up. You’re going to focus,
you are going to be mentally clear," one Shock Coffee promoter said.

Each cup of Shock has 50 percent more caffeine than regular coffee.

"I think its good, it pretty much tastes like regular coffee, but
it give you that second cup of coffee without having that second cup of
coffee," one
Shock drinker said.

You can get shock three ways: the hot coffee, the canned coffee beverages,
and chocolate covered coffee beans for some added energy. Each bag of Shock-O-Lots
has as much caffeine as two cups of regular coffee.

So how does the caffeine
in Shock compare to other drinks? A 10 ounce cup of Dunkin’ Donuts regular
coffee has 105 milligrams of caffeine. 8 ounces of the energy drink Red
Bull will give you 80 milligrams of caffeine. 8 ounces of regular Shock
Coffee has a whopping 240 milligrams of caffeine in it. But is that too
much?

Hell no! Although, according to my admittedly rudimentary math skills
the Channel 7 scientific analysis shows that Shock! has more than TWICE
as much caffeine as Dunkin Donuts Coffee, which, as America’s Morning
Jumpstart may not be the finest brew but certainly packs a decent dose
of caffeine!

This sounds
like an economical way to get our daily dose of one essential element
in our multi-threaded cross dependencies, while avoiding those
embarrassing bladder emergencies on the way to work or while waiting
in an atrophied supermarket checkout line.

Because the Dowbrigade drinks
a lot of coffee. Our brand of choice is "Flor de Manabi" a rare and
delicious house brand grown in the province of Manabi, Ecuador, and sold
only at one ancient storefront in the city of Guayaquil, where they carefully
weigh it out on an old iron scale with polished brass weights.  It
is dark and rich and very strong, and can’t even be purchased in the
province of Manabi itself, where restaurants and homes seem to serve
Nescafe exclusively. The people drink it up, on the theory that if it’s
foreign and processed, it MUST be better than the local stuff, a tragic
lack of national self-esteem.

It is well known among Norma Yvonne’s extensive extended family that
any visitors who hope to be welcomed to the Casa Dowbrigade had better
bring up a kilo or two of roasted, whole bean "Flor de Manabi" from south
of the border. We go through the stuff pretty fast.

The Dowbrigade drinks his coffee out of one of those oversized coffee
cups that could double as a bird bath.  We fill the the coffee machine
(just a regular Mr. Coffee drip machine) up to the "8" line (our lucky
number) and drink half of it in one big cup as our breakfast before leaving
for the office, and the other half when we return.

To season
our coffee, we prefer International
Delight Irish Creme non-dairy
all-chemical coffee creamer. We can’t pronounce half the ingredients,
but it is a real convenience in the morning; just drop a shot of the
stuff in that big old wide-mouthed cup, and forget about milk, cream,
sugar or flavoring. Invaluable when one is still-half asleep and sans
glasses, conditions which in the past have resulted in our adding salt,
soy milk, Milk of Magnesia or even MSG crystals to our brew.

We say we "prefer" International Delight, but we occasionally
curse the forgotten house guest who first
brought
this
vile
elixir into
our
home, for now we are dangerously close to an additional addiction.
The evidence is the length to which we will go to find more when we are
low, or (God forbid) actually run out. We have been know to drive through
a half-dozen towns to get our fix.

Lately we have been having a harder and harder time finding this stuff.
When it was new, and the only product in its category, there were six
flavors, and two sizes.  However, in and unsightly power play, industry
heavyweight Coffeemate is slowly squeezing ID our of shelf space. At
the Star closest to our home, there are now 118 bottles of Coffeemate
non-dairy creamer compared to only 12 International Delights.

Worse, all of the International Delights are either "Lite" (artificial
sweeteners), or their recently introduced "Lo-Carb" variety.  What
rubbish! The Dowbrigade NEEDS his carbs. Why, isn’t "carb-loading" something
that athletes are supposed to do?

At any rate, we are anxious to try the International Delight-Shock!
Coffee combo. The additional presentations are also interesting. We have
never been much for those caffeine-laden "energy drinks", but we suspect
that the Shock in a Can may replace Red Bull as a mixer among the cocktail
crowd.  My students inform me that the current favorite on the bar
scene is Red Bull and vodka.

And those chocolate-covered hyper-caffeinated coffee beans – what a
concept! 4 beans reportedly have as much caffeine as a regular cup
of coffee.We are thinking of handing them out in class, to get those
shy or closemouthed students talking.  One more trick in the old
language teaching arsenal….

from WHDH Channel 7