Sober Up and Smell the Scam

Posted on August 15, 2005 by glasscastle

Gas
at the pump on our corner hit $2.70 a gallon this morning, for regular.
National average gas
prices are at an all time high.

Our posting last week, "We’re
All Texans Now" congratulating the oil industry on the biggest,
billion-dollar (a DAY) boondoggle in history, basically pulling a larcenous
assault, in broad daylight, on THE ENTIRE WORLD, and trying to make it
out to seem they are also unfortunate victims of the situation, garnered
many more comments than our usual reader response (sepulchral silence).

But what none of those who challenged our contentions explained, and
what we have yet to hear in a coherent form from any commentator, industry
spokesperson or talking head, is an explanation of exactly WHERE the extra
billions are going. Twenty extra cents on every gallon, this month alone,
multiplied by hundreds of millions of fill-ups every day, just seem to
be vanishing into the impenetrable complexities of the energy industry.

We have been hearing fumbling folderol about increased extraction costs,
oil industry cost crises, investment in exploration, simple supply and
demand, processing and production bottlenecks, cut profit predictions
and supply-side strain. Chaff and misdirection all. We may not have a
degree in Economics (well, actually we do), but we know that most of the
time capitalism is pretty simple. If normal, educated, intelligent people
can’t understand what is going on, its usually because someone is pulling
the wool over their eyes.

Obviously, the people who designed the scam want to obfuscate and distance
themselves from the true path of this extraordinary and unprecedented
flow of raw capital into carefully constructed and concealed black holes
of untraceable equity. Who could possibly penetrate the arcane inner workings
of this vast oil-drenched conspiracy? We doubt the press, as presently
constituted, have either the skill or the stomach for the job.

article on gas prices from CBS
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8 Responses to Sober Up and Smell the Scam

  1. Dr. No says:
    August 15, 2005 at 6:53 pm

    Yes, Mr. Dowbrigade, this is all a scam, promulgated by one very small group of nefarious mysterymen and women guided under my direction. They are holed up in a bunker in some remote Polynesian paradise — flawlessly choreographing every move in every commodity and security in all world markets in total precision and secrecy. That allows me to keep piling up the gold while giggling at the misfortune of others. Having blown our cover though we will now need to depart this planet on my spacecraft. Drats to you for figuring this out. However did you do it?

  2. Oddjob says:
    August 15, 2005 at 6:57 pm

    Dr. No – I am from a different Bond movie but would be pleased to dispatch of the Dowbrigade should you perceive it necessary. No need to abandon a good thing and wander the galaxies just because of this posting. Do not panic — there is far more to this story than these people will ever know.

  3. Austin Powers says:
    August 15, 2005 at 7:02 pm

    Thanks for the alert, Dowbrigade. I will get right on this. Already contacted Derek Flint who will come out of retirement to assist on this effort. Perhaps we can also get that hot chick from the TV show Alias to assist as well.

  4. John D. Rockefeller, Jr. says:
    August 15, 2005 at 7:07 pm

    ooooooo – we’re so scared. come and get us and see the fate that awaits you. just wait until you’re paying $8-10 at the pump. won’t be long.

  5. Corporate Lawyer says:
    August 15, 2005 at 7:14 pm

    Don’t know about the rest of these crazies, but wonder where you think the money is going? You do realize the major oil companies are large public firms, who in the post-Enron age are under far more scrutiny than ever before. Perhaps the media is not up to the task — though thank the lord you are — but what about the securities analysts, hedge/pension funds and other parties that are closely monitoring their actions. These people have a lot of motivation to determine if these funds are not going to shareholders. And if they are, that is a matter of public record. Think also of the challenges of perpetuating a fraud on the level you are suggesting. How many people need to be involved and how do you ensure that none of them will reveal the sinister plot. Guess though that you can just dismiss that as bloggistic license, and refrain from giving any substantive answers, no?

  6. Little Old Lady from Pasadena says:
    August 15, 2005 at 7:17 pm

    Thank you, thank you for looking out for all of us. I have just begun to use the internet and the Dowbrigade News is my favorite site. Believe it is the sole source of truth out there in this troubled world.

  7. Heinrich Himmler says:
    August 15, 2005 at 7:18 pm

    Dowbrigade — you really need to make up your mind which side you are on.

  8. Michael Feldman says:
    August 15, 2005 at 8:19 pm

    Actually, the Dowbrigade is a member of the International Jewish Conspiracy (sorry, Heinrich, although you may hang on to the possibility that we are a deep sleeper double agent). We are quite concerned about the ties between the oil industry, their lap dogs the Bushes, and our Arab enemies. The current runup in oil prices is a desperate attempt by the industry to make hay before our crack researchers at the Weitzman Institute unveil a new line of vehicles which operate on chicken soup…..

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