Pug Uglies

6

When the Red Sox acquired relief pitcher (now #3 starter)
Julio Tavarez, our first thought was, "Finally, the Red Sox have a
player uglier than
(Yankees ace) Randy Johnson!" (Personal disclaimer: the only person to
ever refer to the Dowbrigade as "handsome" was our paternal grandmother).

Undoubtedly, these were t he two ugliest dudes in
Major League Baseball. Our theory was, if they ever appeared on-screen
at the same time,
plasma TVs across America would explode, unprotected infants would
go blind,
and aesthetes into shock.

Well, as predicted by the axiom that any weird thing that could possible
happen, inevitably will, tonight at Yankee Stadium, Johnson and Tavarez
are the starting pitchers as the Sox and Yankees square off in an
absolutely meaningless four game series. When was the last time the
Sox and their arch-nemesis played two consecutive double-headers
and absolutely nobody gave a shit? Maybe never.

Anyway, we are waiting to see if the two ugliest men in baseball
ever actually appear on the screen at the same time, and if so, what
effect
that will have. Needless to say, we are watching on an expendable
10-year-old CRT and have applied several chemical masking agents
and pharmaceutical
buffers. After all, we are living in dangerous times.

6 Comments

  1. Dowbrigade

    June 11, 2007 @ 11:21 pm

    1

    […] The only time we noted Julian Tavarez in the Dowbrigade News before this season was one time last year, when we referred to him and Randy Johnson as “the two ugliest men in baseball. […]

  2. Dowbrigade BN » Blog Archive » Tavarez Dumb Like a Fox

    June 11, 2007 @ 11:31 pm

    2

    […] The only time we noted Julian Tavarez in the Dowbrigade News before this season was one time last year, when we referred to him and Randy Johnson as “the two ugliest men in baseball.” […]

  3. Lefteris

    July 17, 2007 @ 12:44 pm

    3

    Nice!

  4. GTTerry AKA VideoGT

    August 15, 2007 @ 11:16 am

    4

    Very nice!!!!

  5. Ultimate Pug

    December 21, 2007 @ 12:20 am

    5

    As a member of Red Sox nation, I’d like it noted that Pug dogs are A LOT more handsome than either Tavarez or the BigUnit.

    Both of those guys have more pockmarks on their faces than the moon. My Pugs Bogey and Riley are in contrast quite handsome.

    Best,
    Michelle
    class of ’94
    http://www.UltimatePug.com

  6. [HD] Jay Z & Alicia Keys – Empire State Of Mind (Live At World Series 2009 Game 2 Yankee Stadium) | New York Baseball Coin

    December 6, 2009 @ 2:24 am

    6

    […] Dowbrigade » Blog Archive » Pug Uglies – When the Red Sox acquired relief pitcher (now #3 starter) Julio Tavarez, our first thought was, “Finally, the Red Sox have a player uglier than (Yankees ace) Randy Johnson!” (Personal disclaimer: the only person to ever refer to the Dowbrigade as “handsome” was our paternal grandmother). Undoubtedly, these were t he two ugliest dudes in Major League Baseball. Our theory was, if they ever appeared on-screen at the same time, plasma TVs across America would explode, unprotected infants would go blind, and aesthetes into shock. […]