Election Day Drizzles Down


Ah, Election Day in Massachusetts, a holiday for all
true fans of Democracy and a day at the races for political junkies,
both of which groups we admit to belonging to. Of course, it is just
a primary election, and every
one of the candidates
has flamingly failed to
inspire, impress, captivate or motivate the Dowbrigade to vote, despite
our having captured and considered their (unavoidable) messages.

Rarely have we seen such an unappetizing buffet of
political hors d’vores, outside of the glorious one-candidate elections
of Communist Albania in its political prime. Actually, the ballot looked
a lot like Albania – in a majority of the races, from Teddy’s on down,
there was only one candidate.

All of this led to an anguished indecision on the
part of the Dowbrigade. To vote, or not to vote. To the stone cold
politics addict any election is worth voting in, right? It’s like Bukowski
and the racetrack – doesn’t matter who’s running, it’s the joy of the
chase (and all of the seedy characters haunting the fringes) that keep
us coming back.

If you don’t vote, where’s the fun of going home to
watch the results roll in on TV and the net? Who wants to watch an
ugly dogfight if, as the saying goes, one "don’t have a dog in the

On the other hand, how can a true believer in Democracy
bring him or herself to pull the lever for some venal hack who sold
his soul to blind ambition, corporate puppet masters and the powers
of darkness long ago? Is not a noble abstention the righteous path to democratic
expression in situations like this?

Caught in a quandary, we called our old man, who schooled
us in this Democracy stuff half a century ago. "They’re all pathetic
losers, Dad," we complained, "who couldn’t lead a chorus of Row, Row,
Row your Boat."

As usual Dad came through. He reminded us of the old
adage that says Democracy is a terrible, flawed, unworkable system
– but it’s still better than all of the others. We figure he meant
that in the real world, we often have to opt for the least of several
evils. After we had hung up (of course) we remembered the perfect rejoinder
– the other adage (we saw this one on a bumper sticker) that says,
Don’t forget that the lesser of two evils is still Evil….

Anyway, we took Dad’s advice and went and voted for
the least of the evils, and so now we sit in our personal Media Center
waiting for the results.  We couldn’t bring ourselves to vote
for the unopposed candidates, and we are almost sure the ones we did
vote for will lose. But hey, losing elections is a long family tradition.  The
one time we tried to use our negative mojo to vote for the guy we wanted
to lose, he
won, with disastrous results. So much for Voodoo

But hey, its Election Day in Massachusetts. Anything
can happen.

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