Uncle Fester’s Head on Lou Ferrigno’s Body

Richard Armitage was mainly unknown to most Americans until recently.
But now Armitage, the quintessential Washington insider can’t; seem to
stay out of the news. First it was revealed that Richard Armitage was Bob
Novak’s source for his story on Valerie Plame and now a report comes in
about a bomb threat made by him after 9/11.

Pakistani leader General Pervez Musharraf said that former Deputy Secretary
of State Richard Armitage threatened to bomb Pakistan "back to
the stone age" unless they cooperated with 9/11/2001-related
intelligence gathering.

by By Jack Kramer in the National Ledger

Central casting couldn’t have genetically designed a better
heavy for the mutant crew of the Cheney-gang. Armitage looks like the Adam’s
Uncle Fester’s head spliced onto Lou Ferrigno’s body.

Although he claims not to have been authorized to
threaten and therefore, ipso facto, he could not have threatened (the
logic of which
somehow escapes
us), it seems clear to the Dowbrigade’s overactive imagination that Armitage’s
rap went something like this: "Now look here General, all due respect,
but these psychopathic killers are using your territory to train terrorists
and coordinate attacks against the United States. We are committed
to exterminating these scum wherever they are hiding. These human vermin
have infected your country, and if we don’t have your complete and immediate
cooperation on the ground we are going to take our each and every one of the bastards with a
massive bombardment of high-tech aerial weapons systems which will effectively
transport Pakistan back to the stone age."

See, it doesn’t sound so bad when its put in those terms. Despite this Realpolitik offer that couldn’t be refused, the begrudging
acquiescence of General…..General is just delaying the inevitable. He
knew he was in a lose/lose situation, and was just hoping to somehow get out alive. And looked at from within that context, he hasn’t done bad at all.
Now he feels he has
he has done his time, played his part, narrowly escaping over a dozen assassination attempts,
and as partial compensation has bribed Bush to endorse his book, building
buzz on a world stage, as he quickly feathers his nest for a pampered and
protected retirement far from the threatening streets of Islamabad, a retirement which
may come sooner rather than later.

Because, make no mistake, he is hated in his homeland, as are we, and
Pakistan’s restless young millions, without oil riches to placate them,
represent radical Islam’s best bet and easiest path to nuclear arms. Uneasy
rests the crown on General….General’s head, and we may all pay the price when it falls. Buy the way, the book comes out Wednesday….


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One Response to Uncle Fester’s Head on Lou Ferrigno’s Body

  1. gomez adams says:

    believe you are referring to dear uncle fester http://static.flickr.com/41/85095823_accf10e19f_o.jpg, not cousin it http://www.fortunecity.com/bennyhills/pun/190/cousinitto3.jpg . shoddy journalism.

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