Symptomatic of Steroid Abuse?

Captain America, a Marvel Entertainment superhero, is fatally shot by a sniper in the 25th issue of his eponymous comic, which arrived in stores yesterday. The assassination ends the sentinel of liberty’s fight for right, which began in 1941.

The last episode in Captain America’s life comes after the events of “Civil War,” a seven-issue mini-series that has affected nearly the entire line of Marvel’s library of titles. In “Civil War,” the government began requiring superheroes to register their services, and it outlawed vigilantism after supervillains and superheroes fought during a reality show, accidentally killing hundreds of civilians. The public likened the heroes to weapons of mass destruction that must be controlled.

The registration act polarized the superhero community. Captain America (whose true identity was Steve Rogers) considered the legislation an erosion of civil liberties; Iron Man, on the other side, believed that training heroes as the military, firefighters or the police are trained would only benefit society. When the factions came to blows and caused more destruction, Captain America chose to fight his battle in court.

from the New York Times

So, it has come to this. The mighty Captain America reduced to relying on Media shysters like Johnnie Cochran, Maria Lopez and Alan Dershowitz. Well, payback is a bitch. Captain America was never one of our personal favorites, even back before we tuned in, turned on and dropped out. A tad too fascist, gung-ho and creepily earnest, in a Ted Haggert sort of way. Him and that sacrilegious spook Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. (a thinly disguised C.I.A. clone) running around offing people and overthrowing governments with absolutely no Congressional oversight. Even back in the day, the pre-teen Dowbrigade was more into slackers like Dr. Strange and the Silver Surfer.

Getting back to the recently deceased Captain America, when did he get so ripped? We seem to remember that when he came into the league in 1941 (Justice League of America, that is) he was considerably slimmer. He really seemed to bulk up in the 90’s. Plus, if you compare issues from 60’s and the 90’s you can see that his head size has definitely increased. Now, we are not saying that one of America’s patriotic icons was using steroids or any other performance enhancing drugs, and God knows it’s too late to do anything about it now, but perhaps the time has come for obligatory drug testing for crime fighters. They are, after all, role models.

On the other hand, that Cap sure does look good for an 87-year-old guy, doesn’t he?