Gringo Manaba

Adventuras y Fantasias or Fantastical Adventures


  • April 2007
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Archive for April 24th, 2007

Stay Away From the Chips

Posted by dowbrigade on 24th April 2007

poyokoAfter years of applying for every exotic posting, niche program, foreign conference and off-shore exchange related to our professional position, the Major Boston University where the Dowbrigade has been gainfully employed since ’88 (a good year), despite our reputation as a brilliant but eccentric loose cannon we are finally getting to go somewhere.

In July, just in time for Wimbledon, the Dowbrigade will be traveling to exotic London, of all places, to teach the basics of the American Legal System, of all things.

It has been 36 years since we have been to the Olde Cuntry. The last time we were there we were busted for smoking a chillum huddled under an azalea bush in the Queens Garden across from Buckingham Palace while waiting for the changing of the guard, and given 48 hours to leave the country.

Which we did. We guess we’ll find out if the Bobbie who told us to do so and with a straight face wrote down our passport numbers in his little, leather-bound black book managed to get the information into our “permanent file”.

Hopefully, some things have changed in the last 36 years, both in Merry Olde England and in the personal habits of the Dowbrigade, but not too much. We envision erudite intellectual morning discourse on topics like Habeas Corpus, Res Juridica, and Sanjaya Malakar, rousing afternoon mixed doubles with a smashing (on court and off) heiress with the demeanor of Anne Robinson (the Queen of Mean), and evenings spent in tweedy smoke-filled pubs chatting up marvelously accented locals with tales of Yankee daring do.

Accordingly, we have been monitoring news about all things British, specifically in the areas in which we will be spending time, so as to be prepared for whatever we may encounter. Unfortunately, yesterday we came across the following item:

A man burst into a busy central London restaurant and chopped off his own penis with a knife in front of horrified diners, police and reports said today.

The man – identified by the Sun as a 35-year-old Polish national – ran into Zizzi, in the Strand, at 9pm on Sunday.

“This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about,” Stuart McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the paper. “Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn’t believe it.”

A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said a man aged between 30 and 40 was the only person hurt in the incident, and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

He was taken to hospital, where his condition was described as stable.

From the Guardian Unlimited

We’ve been warned about London restaurants. Luckily, our flat comes with a kitchen……

Posted in Friends and Family, Wacky News | 3 Comments »