Archive for June 6th, 2007

Mr. Mush’s Cure for Tummy Upsets – Live Frogs

2

eatingfrogs.jpgBEIJING (Reuters) – A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid intestinal complaints and made him strong.

Jiang Musheng, a 66-year-old resident of Jiangxi province, suffered from frequent abdominal pains and coughing from the age of 26, until an old man called Yang Dingcai suggested tree frogs as a remedy, the Beijing News said on Tuesday.

“At first, Jiang Musheng did not dare to eat a live, wriggling frog, but after seeing Yang Dingcai swallow one, he ate … two without a thought,” the paper said.

“After a month of eating live frogs, his stomach pains and coughing were completely gone.”

Over the years Jiang had added live mice, baby rats and green frogs to his diet, and had once eaten 20 mice in a single day, the paper said.

from Reuters

Like millions of other Americans, the Dowbrigade suffers from digestive problems. Since our ignominious Med-evac from South America last year, we have been afflicted with a veritable plague of stomach and intestinal problems. Bloating, farting, belching, cramps, diareahea, stabbing pains, aching pains, nausea, acid reflux, difficulty swallowing, gas and a nasty scar are our constant companions. This may be our answer.

Our attorney is currently trying to track down Mr. Mush, as we are anxious to bring “Musheng’s Mush” to the suffering masses of American bellyachers. Me already have the formula down, a gourmet puree of frogs, rats and mice, mixed with a few unpronouncable Chinese herbs, and packaged in an Imperial dragon bottle in deep red and gold. As you can see, we have put a lot of thought and effort into this project.

While our lawyer looks for Mr. Mush, we are searching for a grant which could fund the project. Something to do with traditional medicine and ethnobotany, or a humanitarian award for alleviating the suffering of millions.