Man U Signs 9-year-old – No Joke

jungsokerMANCHESTER, England: Manchester United, by most measures the #1 sports team in the world, has announced the signing of Rhain Davis, a 9-year-old soccer prodigy from Australia (see photo). Rhain was brought to the attention of the world soccer powerhouse by his grandfather, who sent the British team a video of the young star.

Manchester United is consistently ranked the most popular club team in the world, and according to Forbes Magazine is the highest valued franchise in all of sports, at $1.453 billion, edging out the Washington Redskins, worth $1.423 billion.

Man U, as it is know to fans and foes alike, maintains an extensive youth development program, where Rhain will presumably hone his skills while waiting for a crack at the big club. A copy of the video has been viewed on YouTube over 800,000 times.

The English side is teaching its American counterparts a thing to two about robbing the cradle. Most pundits on this side of the pond thought MLS team DC United was stretching the envelope when they drafted #1 and signed 14-year old Freddy Adu to a multimillion dollar contract three years ago.

Then came news earlier this summer that USC had gotten a verbal commitment from 8th-grade basketball player Ryan Boatwright, who hadn’t even decided where to go to HIGH SCHOOL yet, to play for USC. USC, apearantly, has adopted an “SAT-optional” admissions policy.

The Rhein Davis case lowers the bar yet again. In a world of professional sports, where the difference between a multi-million dollar career and a career cleaning carpets consists of a torn tendon, a random traffic stop or an inability to hit an 87-mile-an-hour curveball, and where even seasoned professionals represent a risk of losing their ability to perform consistently at a world-class level at any time, how can supposedly sound businesspeople justify investing money and ruining the childhood of a 9-year-old kid?

What’s next? It’s hard to discern any actual talent in kids younger than 9, although we saw Meredith Vieira interview a 5-year-old tennis player live on the Today show the other morning. The logical next step is to start awarding contracts, or at least options, on the basic of genetic inheritance alone. In some sports, blood lines run strong.

In baseball, for example, you have the Alomars, Sandy, Roberto and Sandy Jr., Felipe and Moises Alou and Tony Armas, Sr. and Jr. There is Buddy Bell and his two sons, David and Mike, as well as his brother Gus Bell and his son Buddy. Yogi and Dale Berra. And of course Bobby Bonds and the man of the hour, his son Barry. And who could forget Ray Boone and his son Bob Boone and his grandsons Aaron Boone and Bret Boone. One gets the idea, and we are still in the “B”s.

Would it be so far fetched for baseball blue bloods to sell futures options on their progeny? It might be a way to defray the costs of child rearing. Of course, the mega super-stars, whose kids would have the greatest probability of achieving athletic success, would not be likely to need the extra income. On the other hand, super-talented athletes whose careers were cut short by injury would be a natural market, sort of like champion thoroughbreds who pull a muscle are put out to stud, preserving their genetic and financial equity.

From there, as biotech and goddless globalization advance, how far could it be to Designer DNA, Boutique Genetics, 2 genes from column B, 4 from column C, resulting in prospective parents being able to order up a 7-foot lefty with world-class coordination and competitive drive.

Of course, if cloning became a legal and acceptable alternative, there would be no need to hunt for the magical mix of talent and temperament that makes a champion. We could market exact genetic duplicates of any cooperating pro athlete still alive at the time the technique was developed, assuming that cells from any heathly adult could be used as DNA starter kits.

Envision a day when the starting five on the NBA Champions consists of three Michael Jordans and two Shaquille O’Neals, with Bill Russell and Bob Cousy on the bench.

It wouldn’t be quite as easy as ordering a lemon-yellow Lamborghini. Hoping for a professional athlete like a Shaquille would be an expensive and risky proposition. 18 years of care and feeding, and no guarantee you wouldn’t end up with a 7 foot 3 inch interior decorator, or a thrash metal rocker.

But the message is clear, even from here. When sports becomes absolutely subservient to business, anything that sells tickets, garners publicity and wins titles will eventually be tried.

As a logical extension of the parallel and intertwined encroachment of gambling into every facet of modern life, the public will be able to buy shares in the future careers of these budding superstars. Welcome to the brave new world of prenatal to postmortem sports betting, a cradle to grave fantasy league reality show. Why be content to bet on tonight’s game, when you can buy actions in some kid who hasn’t even been born yet?

About dowbrigade

Semi-retired academic from Harvard, Boston University, Fulbright Commission, Universidad Laica Eloy Alfaro de Manta, currently columnist for El Diario de Portoviejo and La Marea de Manta.
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62 Responses to Man U Signs 9-year-old – No Joke

  1. youth soccer says:

    This is so very cool and for every hero there’s a zillion just players, and someone to look-up to and model.

  2. I don’t know, but I find this disturbing. I am an athelete as well, but this is just not good.

  3. Arini says:

    As long as the kid enjoy all the exercises it will good to him.

  4. ben says:

    this is sik blood im gay

  5. MJC says:

    I think it’s a smart business move for ManU to sign this kid. Having already more than 800 goals in his young soccer carreer, he is a great asset to the team’s youth camp. Although he may be younger than most of the other kids, there is a great chance he’s already better than some of those older than him. The child gets a good view of how the business world works and at the same time enjoys his stay in England while playing for the top soccer team in the world.

  6. steroids says:

    Man` United is my favorite team and the best team in the world , that`s why they`ve just took the CL CUP.

  7. Dessie says:

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  8. Steroids says:

    It does not surprise me one bit, not in this day of age. Probably a very good investment if they see the kids got a lot of talent. He can only get better, so it make sense.

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  10. Alesandra says:

    I think that the younger, the better.
    If you grow up in an athmosphere where the focus is something you like to do, you become the best. The same thing happens with ballet dancers, they start when they are barely 6 years.

  11. I’ve seen the video of this kid, and he can really play. Obviously, at 9, he needs to develop physically and so on, but with that much raw talent and an early opportunity for the same coaching team that raised Giggs, Scholes, Neville, Butt, etc., he could be a superstar!

  12. Saddles says:

    I’ve seen the video too. But at 9 it is way too earlyto tell. This reminds me of young acotrs, musicians and the like almost being forced to select a lifelong pursuit due to extraordinary talent. Superstar or not, I don’t think a 9 year old knows what they are giving up when they are forced to dedicate themselves to the extent necessary to be the best. Hopefully his parents will give him the room to explore.

  13. free picks says:

    I’ve seen this kid play. He’s great. He would be a free picks in the next draft.

  14. free pick says:

    This kid plays like me when I was he’s age. I would give him a free pick if he wants to play for any team
    in the world.

  15. Wow. You’ve actually seen this kid. I’ve seen a few examples in American Football and they always end up strung out on drugs.

  16. Wow. Does anybody know what’ happend with Rhain Davis now?

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  18. WOW, very cool post.
    The soccer is very good healty sport.
    I start to paly soccer to 12 years old.
    great!!

  19. Great post – reminds me of the book “brave new world” in a way, however! (trying to determine one’s future at such a young age)

  20. Steroids says:

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  25. Sounds like the new wayne rooney

  26. Clasamente says:

    I am curios, if that kid plays now at same level. I don’t bet he does…

  27. Long live Manchester United

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  39. Nancy Liy says:

    I wonder when the market will get better. Any predictions on when betting online from the US will be possible without having to go through loop holes?

  40. this is an interesting article. idk, i went to an online sports betting site and i though i was signed through my buddy but later found out that the credit went to someone else. These are guys are good and those blackhat seo marketer i bet are making a killing. do u think hackers also make sites related to younger kids to make $$$?

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