Devil Worshippers Lose Pro Team

26

http://www.tarotreadingsecrets.com/content_images/the-devil.jpgWhen your bad reputation is exceeded only by an uninterrupted record of failure and ineptitude, sometimes the only thing to do is to change your name. Not only does this often throw creditors off the track, but can offer a psychic fresh start, a karmic reset, a new beginning. Such is desperation of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, decade-long doormats of the American League, that they have resorted to exorcising the Devil from their name.

That’s right, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now officially just the Tampa Bay Rays! But the story behind the story is not their dismal path to baseball’s worst record (Tampa Bay has never had a .500 season in their 10-year existence); rather it is the word team officials have decided to eliminate – the “Devil” in the details! After extensive research we can definitively report that this is not an isolated incident. Rather, it is part of a concerted campaign to wipe out Merry Old Mephistopheles from our common culture, our sporting life, and our very language.

This campaign includes the depuration of morally offensive sports nicknames like “L’il Devils” “Redskins” “Braves” and “Turks” as well as sexual entendres like “The Stallions” “The Trojans” “The Beavers” and “The Cooz“. It is also part and parcel of the War on Halloween, which has lately been condemned from pulpits across America as a Godless Bonanza for candy companies and dental clinics, personally sponsored by Lucifer himself.

The latest front of this fundamentalist campaign against the Prince of Darkness and his linguistic minions attempts to purify the English Language itself. While dropping the Devil from the Rays left them with an euphonious Tampa Bay Rays, many of the other devils in our language will not be so easy to exorcise.

For example, what are we going to do with “Devil’s Food Cake”? We can’t just drop the D-word and say “Food Cake”. Is “Demon’s Food Cake” sufficiently non-ecclesiastic?

If we want to maintain alliteration and a negative message, we might transform Daredevil into “Daredoofus“. Of course, alliteration can be overrated, and if the idea is that this devil is an evil fellow, perhaps “Deviled Eggs” could become something like “Ogre Eggs”.

It may no longer be acceptable to have a “devil-may-care” attitude; instead we might refer to a “douchebag-may-care” attitude. We could replace Satan with a more modern figure of ultimate evil in proverbs like “Idle hands are the diddler’s playground.”

Getting Lucifer out of the Language is a noble idea, but like so many other things, the DooDoo is in the Details. There comes a point where we need to back off and give the Dark Dork his due. If we start messing with the English language to cater to passing political passions, there’ll be the terrorist to pay.

26 Comments

  1. 69ratthediner12

    January 17, 2008 @ 2:19 pm

    1

    666, murder murder jesus. Satomasicism will rule all, all christian and christian off branches, jews, and many other religions ( not buddhists) will perish to the depths of hell. The bible is full of lies. Lucifer WILL rule ALL of earth for eternity and you will all suffer

    Jk

  2. cockman

    April 11, 2008 @ 12:50 pm

    2

    fuckin foolas

  3. DeathVult

    July 3, 2008 @ 4:00 am

    3

    Well, its ok to wipe out all DEVIL words from wherever you wish, but, please, take all those “Saint A”, “Saint B”, and jesus/mohamed/allah crap along.
    I wish I would never have to walk to a street with a lying claimed saint, or enter a building with a cross on some wall.

    Lets be honest, no use in wiping out the devil word off names, when the true evil comes from the organized religion, and not just words.
    People were made so stupid from religious crap, now they think by just removing a nice word like “devil” from a name, will actually make their players play better.
    This is the world you thought you would be in when you were born? I thought, at this point in my life, people would learn there is no god, and would not pay attention to religion anymore, but I was so wrong.
    Still taking a while…

  4. ???

    September 10, 2008 @ 3:33 pm

    4

    I hope you idiot devil worshippers will go down with your fucking devil beliefs and go to hell, God will punish you and you will suffer for the rest of your life. No one wants to be friends with some lonly devil worshipper, you creepy idiots, you have no good inside you. you guys probably have no friends and you get abused by your family and you all are emos. Give up about your crap theories and turn to the light. even Atheist no not to worship the devil, its just human to hate evil, but you people there is something really wrong with you, you just like people to suffer, you sadistic fools. you rather be with the devil who will treat you like crap even if you follow him, or be with God who will give you peace and happiness for the rest of your life.ITS UP TO YOU, i know what i will choose.

  5. i am a christian

    September 11, 2008 @ 10:54 pm

    5

    i dont under stand you idiotic devil worshipers what do you ownessly think the devil will do for you guys .nothing wanna know why cause he has never done anything to help a person he is full of hatred so do you think lucifer/devil will treat you with respect/dignity. no because he bieleves that we should kill people torture people and be gay. but in gods case he is full of love what did he do to us when we killed his only son nothing becasue he is full of love and respect unlike your “wanna be god lusifer’ if any of you wanna argue back please add my msn is kilok99@hotmail.com please change your additude to god cause no one wants to see you go to hell and be tortured….. kilok99@hotmail.com!!!!@#%

  6. Emma

    November 19, 2008 @ 9:54 am

    6

    let them believe that rubbish we can not judge god will judge them on judgement day!
    i believe there is a devil and there is a hell but i dnt like his workings.
    Gods in me!

  7. Anonymous

    January 10, 2009 @ 12:18 am

    7

    fuck you all

  8. Anonymous

    January 10, 2009 @ 12:20 am

    8

    fuck you devil worshipers

  9. siga savu

    February 12, 2009 @ 2:59 am

    9

    jesus is love love and love no matter who u r jesus wil stil love u and now is the time for salvation so pliz im begging turn fromk ur wicked ways and seek the lord while he may be found and call upon hes name while he is near:) JESUS IS COMING SOON
    LUV U LOTS SIGA SAVU

  10. child of ALMIGHTY GOD

    March 2, 2009 @ 6:49 am

    10

    THE BLOOD OF JESUS,THE BLOOD OF JESUS,THE BLOOD OF JESUS

  11. patrick

    April 24, 2009 @ 8:45 am

    11

    iI would like to be a member pliz assist

  12. Anonymous

    June 1, 2009 @ 6:47 pm

    12

    I love fucking wet assholes

  13. MOIN UL HAQ

    June 28, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

    13

    Hmmm WHY DO PEOPLE WORSHIP THE DEVIL ? WHEN THE DEVIL HIMSELF BELIVES GOD ?? HAHAHAHA CHECK MATE !! FUCKING DUMB ASSES ! (*^_^*)

  14. son of the Almighty God

    July 28, 2009 @ 11:53 am

    14

    You shall all be DEFEATED in the name of JESUS….i hope someday you get to see the light and change your eveil ways

  15. Tony Beneduce

    January 29, 2010 @ 10:21 pm

    15

    What kinda of a person or so called god can watch his own son tortchered and killed?So,sacrificing your own son was done for us< Bullshit,any person or so called god that can watch his son be killed is more eveil then the people doing it.

  16. T.B.

    January 29, 2010 @ 10:25 pm

    16

    I use to think god was someone to look upto till i realised he is the evil of all evils……………..

  17. N.E.J

    August 17, 2010 @ 10:05 am

    17

    Jesus rules. He is the one who comforts you when every one turns away from you.You mention his name when you are scared and you feel beter.You struggle in life and have no happiness within but when you invite him in your life, you recieve forever happiness…..

  18. xxxxx

    September 9, 2010 @ 5:22 am

    18

    i hate u those who belive in devil.

  19. marico

    October 22, 2010 @ 6:03 am

    19

    God aint shit

  20. Anonymous

    October 28, 2010 @ 6:43 am

    20

    Kiss believ

  21. sthe

    October 28, 2010 @ 3:17 pm

    21

    I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT ALL THIS……. WHY DIDNT GOD DESTROY THE DEVIL IN EDEN B4 WE ALL GET COUGHT UP IN THIS …AND WHY DID SATAN OPPOSSE GOD IF HE KNEW HE WILL NEVER WIN BUT BURN 4EVER……THE THRUTH PLEASE

  22. shan

    November 6, 2010 @ 4:46 pm

    22

    em muslim and u knw some thing very important to tell u the devil worshiper is totally wrong and there is one ALLAH which iz love u more thn u think and ur thoughts as well if u wanna feel him thn u hav to b positive think in every kind of way and my religion wont allowed me to say something bull shit abt any one or any think cos dis life is just for our test and ntmor thn dat and plz keep in mind da time is nt far to see da truth well and plz think abt dat wot i said to u b4 its to late and its nt right way of living and i hav to show u which is facet and which way take u to right path and its bit heard to live like dat cos as lyk ur life going on and if u still want to ask me abt religion thn ask my e mail ok
    blind_shan_1@hotmail.com

  23. wendy tendani muthaki

    November 8, 2010 @ 6:59 am

    23

    I pray for God mercy upon those who do not believe, upon those who were decieved by the devil. People Jesus exists He is the Son of the Living GOD.children of the Most High lets keep on praying for those who are in darkness to recieve the light of Jesus, the devil kvows that his tome is short and he wants to go down with many children of God. these are the end times look at how he is decieving the youth nowerdays plz by the power that the Lord has given upon us to destroy the kindoms of our enemies let us pray and call upon the name of Jesus, the Blood of Jesus and the Fire Holy Ghost and set the captives free. I cover this email with the blood of Jesus and I pray that who ever reads this email and is in captive may be set free in Jesus name and who ever may be in darknes may recieve lighht in Jesus name.

  24. mmmmmmmmmmmmm

    November 8, 2010 @ 7:36 am

    24

    I SENDING THE POWERFUL HOLY GOST FIRE TO ALL OF YOU WHO BELIEVE THE DEVIL.DEVIL YOU ARE A LIAR.KING JESUS IS RULLING.FIRE…………..BURN.

  25. nasa

    January 21, 2011 @ 10:30 am

    25

    all we are human beings we have to belive what we want to belive not what we were tought by our parents,teachers,or etc.we should belive in what is in our heart.i strongly belive in devil worshping.my background was muslim so u can say anything you want.i will pray for you to have happy life.

  26. sammy yong

    February 22, 2011 @ 11:10 am

    26

    look at your bad side not other peaples.