RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House USA
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in
Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all
my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White
Sox.
With my father’s help (and his name) was elected
Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and
made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog
ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the
tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set record for most executions by any Governor in
American history.
I became president after losing the popular vote by
over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers
appointments to the Supreme Court.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I attacked two countries.
I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in
history.
I set economic record for most private bankruptcies
filed in any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history
of the stock market.
I am the first president in decades to execute a
federal prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office
with a criminal record.
In the first year in office I set the all-time record
for most days on vacation by any president in US
history. After taking the entire month of August off
for vacation, I presided over the worst security
failure in US history. I set the record for most
campaign fundraising trips than any other president in
US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million
Americans lost their job.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work
Americans than any president in US history.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than any president in US history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US
history and refused to intervene when corruption was
revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US
history and refused to use the national reserves as
past presidents have.
I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15
million people), shattering the record for protest
against any person in the history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history. (The ‘poorest’
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil
tanker named after her).
I am the first president in US history to order a US
attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation,
and I did so against the will of the United Nations
and the world community.
I created the largest government department
bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget
spending increases, more than any president in US
history.
I am the first president in US history to have the
United Nations remove the US from the human rights>
commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the
United Nations remove the US from the elections
monitoring board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least
amount of congressional oversight than any
presidential administration in US history.
I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I
withdrew from the World Court of Law. I refused to
allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first president in US history to refuse
United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US
elections).
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for
most corporate campaign donations. My biggest lifetime
campaign contributor, who is also one of my best
friends, presided over one of the largest corporate
bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I, with a policy of disengagement, created the most
hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30
years.
I am the first US president in history to have a
majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
I am the first US president in history to have the
people of South Korea more threatened by the US than
their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden
‘dead or alive’.
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to
murder the leaders of our country at the United States
Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and
zero suspects. In the 18 months following the 911
attacks I have successfully prevented any public
investigation into the biggest security failure in the
history of the United States.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for
Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years I created the most divided
country in decades, possibly the most divided the US
has ever been since the civil war.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US
history and in less than two years turned every single
economic category heading straight down.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
I have At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the
military during a time of war.
I refuse to take drug test or even answer any
questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have
been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider
trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I
served on the board are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or
uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their
offices of the Carlyle Group which has been accused of
war-profiteering.)