Gringo Manaba

Adventuras y Fantasias or Fantastical Adventures

  • TEMAS – THEMES

  • October 2020
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Dubya Resume

RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH

The White House USA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in

Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all

my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a

sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White

Sox.

With my father’s help (and his name) was elected

Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and

made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog

ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the

tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set record for most executions by any Governor in

American history.

I became president after losing the popular vote by

over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers

appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I attacked two countries.

I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in

history.

I set economic record for most private bankruptcies

filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history

of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a

federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office

with a criminal record.

In the first year in office I set the all-time record

for most days on vacation by any president in US

history. After taking the entire month of August off

for vacation, I presided over the worst security

failure in US history. I set the record for most

campaign fundraising trips than any other president in

US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million

Americans lost their job.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work

Americans than any president in US history.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the

Constitution than any president in US history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US

history and refused to intervene when corruption was

revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US

history and refused to use the national reserves as

past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to

simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15

million people), shattering the record for protest

against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any

president in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any

administration in US history. (The ‘poorest’

multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil

tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to order a US

attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation,

and I did so against the will of the United Nations

and the world community.

I created the largest government department

bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget

spending increases, more than any president in US

history.

I am the first president in US history to have the

United Nations remove the US from the human rights>

commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the

United Nations remove the US from the elections

monitoring board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least

amount of congressional oversight than any

presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I

withdrew from the World Court of Law. I refused to

allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by

default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse

United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US

elections).

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for

most corporate campaign donations. My biggest lifetime

campaign contributor, who is also one of my best

friends, presided over one of the largest corporate

bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,

former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I, with a policy of disengagement, created the most

hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30

years.

I am the first US president in history to have a

majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my

presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and

stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the

people of South Korea more threatened by the US than

their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden

‘dead or alive’.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to

murder the leaders of our country at the United States

Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and

zero suspects. In the 18 months following the 911

attacks I have successfully prevented any public

investigation into the biggest security failure in the

history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for

Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years I created the most divided

country in decades, possibly the most divided the US

has ever been since the civil war.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US

history and in less than two years turned every single

economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine

(Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the

military during a time of war.

I refuse to take drug test or even answer any

questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have

been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in

secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider

trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy

and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I

served on the board are sealed in secrecy and

unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)

attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in

secrecy and unavailable for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or

uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their

offices of the Carlyle Group which has been accused of

war-profiteering.)

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