My Day with the Chinese Christopher Walken

- January 27, 2005 @ 5:46 pm · Filed under Legalese

My estranged father picked me up from work today to go make the arrangements for my paternal grandmother’s service and burial. I insisted on going along because my father is both unsentimental and cheap; I didn’t trust him to pick out the proper casket.

The funeral director was delighted by my presence. I poked around the basement coffin showroom, and picked out a model called the “Mahogany Eloquence” that was twice as much as what my father wanted to pay (it was also $2K more than what I had expected to pay, but it felt wrong to pick a “good” one over a “better” one. The “best” one was simply out of my income bracket). He could not complain because I had my checkbook ready to cover the difference. After I selected the box, we went upstairs, and went through the checklist for the service. My dad conversed with the director in Cantonese, and the director constantly tried to upsell my dad by telling him, “You have a good daughter. She’ll pay for it. Do you want it?” Fortunately, my father demurred all of the unnecessary add-ons for the service.

**

This whole event was prefaced by the actual ride over to the mortuary. After he picked me up, he said to me, “E*, I have some more news for you…I got remarried. It was an accident.” I asked him if he “knocked her up.” He said, “No, I got her pregnant, it’s going to be another girl.” I replied back, “Knocking up means getting pregnant. You let this happen again? Aren’t you smarter than that? I thought you would have learned the first time.”

So, yes, I am getting another sister, and I have a new stepmom (who I met today). She’s less than three years older than me, but she seems nice. I hope that this marriage lasts because as I’ve explained to my father, he’s on the very bottom of the list of people that I plan to take care of in 20+ years.

6 Comments

  1. @nna

    January 28, 2005 @ 8:58 am

    1

    ah. e**, you are a good daughter.

  2. Simon

    January 28, 2005 @ 10:08 am

    2

    Hey, I like Christopher Walken…

    But sorry about your grandmother. Hope all is well.

  3. echan

    January 28, 2005 @ 1:29 pm

    3

    I actually really like Christopher Walken too (as an aside, Finch is famous for his Kevin Spacey as Christopher Walken as Han Solo impression). I just think that the older Walken tends to play these skeezy, dissolute characters who remind me of my Peter Pan father.

  4. Whup

    January 30, 2005 @ 1:56 am

    4

    wow… a stepsister that’s 27 years younger than you. So how did Christopher Walken come up?

  5. Y.

    January 31, 2005 @ 12:08 am

    5

    I’m sorry you’re going through a tough patch E. You are both a good daughter and granddaughter.

  6. badxmaru

    January 31, 2005 @ 12:51 pm

    6

    bleah

    but i like that line “he’s on the very bottom of the list of people that I plan to take care of in 20+ years.”

    i’ll save that one for later.

Log in