from the desk of ethicalEsq (ret.):
which is giving away a Free Divorce for Valentine’s Day. It’s a mildly amusing
stunt by K-Rock’s “Damn Morning Show” crew.
Naturally, this excerpt from the news story interested me most (AP/Newsday,
by William Kates, Feb. 12, 2005):
The free divorce will be handled by lawyer Brad Margolis. A divorce
without custody issues, where both husband and wife want to split and
agree on how to divide their assets, costs at least $1,390 – about $1,000
in legal fees and $390 in state filing costs, he said.
“That’s a lot of money for a paper-pushing exercise. In a lot of these cases,
people just want to make legal something that is already done,” Margolis
said, noting the national divorce rate is over 50 percent.
My first reaction was, “you’re darn right it’s a lot of money for paper-pushing!”
Based on my quaint belief that lawyers must act as fiduciaries for their clients
when advising them on a course of action and when setting fees, my second
reaction was the question: “Shouldn’t a lawyer tell clients that they can find forms
right here to use for an uncontested divorce in New York State, along with step-by-
step guidance?” Sure, some folks will prefer to let the lawyer handle the paperwork,
but others might be very pleased to do it themselves, and should be given the choice.
My interest piqued, I decided to head over to the website of Brad S. Margolis, J.D.
And, guess what I learned? Margolis really does think that $1000 is a lot of money
to pay for an uncontested divorce. Indeed, his fee for an uncontested divorce is not
“The approximate retail value of Uncontested Divorce is $1,000.00.”
I guess they mean Margolis can get it for you wholesale at his law office — a 62.5%
discount. Margolis’ divorce fee agreement states that his hourly fee (for purposes of
drawing down a retainer) is $158.00 per hour. [That rate will sound low to many readers,
but recall that Margolis practices in central NYS, where lawyer income, like the whole
economy, is depressed.] At that hourly rate, Margolis would be paid for about 2.4 hours
under the $375 flat fee — a generous allotment of time.
In addition, he offers telephone consultations at the rate of $25 per half-hour,
so a savvy shopper might save time and money by dealing with lawyer
Margolis by phone.
WKRL-FM and Brad Margolis have received a lot of publicity for this low-cost contest.
I hope Program Director Scott Petibone and Brad Margolis will let the public and
the winners know that the prize is worth a lot less than advertised. It’s not too late
for you to tell them what you think of their cheatin’ hearts. Write to
K-Rock at iwantadivorce@krock.com
Brad S. Margolis at brad@cnylawoffice.com
2600 Oneida Street
Utica, NY 13501
Office: (315) 733-ATTY (2889)
Fax: (315) 735-2558
toll free within NY State
1-800-953-debt (3328)
update (Feb. 14, 2005): Carolyn Elefant discusses this post at My Shingle,
and touched off quite a debate (partially by incorrectly stating my position).
Part of the discussion can be found here, where Eugene Lee and I go back
and forth on lawyer-fiduciares and the obligation to disclose options.
update II (Feb. 16, midnite): Lawyer Brad S. Margolis contacted me twice this
evening. In his first email, he noted “I am not getting anything for this promotion,
In fact I am even paying 100 percent of the filing fees out of my own pocket.”
On the issue of his flat fee for uncontested divorces, Margolis stated:
“Yes my online fees are less than my in office fees, that is to make legal
fees affordable to people who are lucky to have money for food. . . .
“As and for what the cost of an uncontested Divorce is I believe that
the figure quoted is not incorrect and online prices which you should
know are far less than in office cases. Just a matter of common sense,
which apparently you lacked in your biased appraisal of my actions.
When I responded with more questions, he wrote back and clarified that “in
many cases I do charge that fee for an uncontested divorce. [Y]es I do discount
my web services as I find the overhead of the web office much lower than the
high priced rent I must factor in to some of my offices.”
I wrote back to say I can’t imagine how the cost of clients attracted online can
be so significantly lower as to warrant the difference between $1000 and $375.
I also noted that I continue to believe that $1000 is too much for what Margolis
himself called the “paper-pushing” of an uncontested divorce. Readers will
have to decide for themselves whether “The approximate retail value of
Uncontested Divorce is $1,000.00.”
If you want a real legal bargain, let me suggest a copy of The Only Good Lawyer
(A John Francis Cuddy Mystery), by Jeremiah Healy (1998) — it’s available for as little
as $0.01 at the amazon.com marketplace (was $23.00 retail!).
Didn’t I just promise yesterday to deliver less heat, more haiku? Here are a few
divorce-haiku moments from D.C. haijin-lawyer, Roberta Beary, whose own
love story ended happily last Fall:
no longer married
only their shadows touch
. . . graduation day
waiting room–
the ex-wife
looks past me
custody hearing
seeing his arms cross
i uncross mine
family picnic
the new wife’s rump
bigger than mine
by Roberta Beary, from A New Resonance 2: Emerging Voices in English-Language Haiku
“custody hearing” from pocket change; “family picnic” from modern haiku 34-3
by dagosan:
laughing alone
at the Sunday funnies
— both of us
[Nov. 14, 2004]
RIP with a smile: Johnny Carson was a man who knew a lot about divorce; here’s a little repartee between Johnny and Rodney Dangerfield about a star-crossed couple:
Rodney Dangerfield: “Johnny, how long have you and Ed McMahon been together?”
Johnny: “I guess it’s been about ten years now.”
Rodney Dangerfield: “Wow, that is a long time…any children?”
Johnny: “It’s not that we haven’t TRIED!!!”
Please do not miss Evan Schaeffer’s explanation of why he really likes the weblog
A Fool in the Forest, by George M. Wallace. We could not agree more.
“tinyredcheck” If you’re still absolutely certain that Wanita Renea Young was absolutely wrong
to go to court after the infamous Durango Cookie Caper, I hope you’ll read this ABC report on her
Good Morning America appearance today, and this hometown article “Two sides to every cookie,”
Durango Herald, Feb. 12, 200). I hope our cookie curmudgeon post earlier this week softened
you up a little. This being America, it’s not at all surprising that Mrs.Young and her family have
been the target of hate mail, harassing phone calls and even death threats. while the recklessly-
thoughtful young ladies are celebrities and still getting donations to pay their court damages.
Here’s just one of many interesting facts from the articles: “Young said her home is in an
extremely rural area, and Ostergaard and Zellitti had to climb over two fences, walk
through a pasture filled with livestock and crawl across an open ditch to get to her home.
Once there, Young said the girls went to a secluded back door and knocked.”
As a mediator, who worked hard for years to solve disputes without litigation, I would have
much preferred that both sides of the Cookie Dispute work this out — perhaps using the Small
Claims mediation services available in Colorado. However, having served as a lawyer for
hundreds of children, and having lived with a few, I know far too well that young people
often do very stupid things with very good intent. The girls here — and remember they are
18 years old — have yet to show that they understand in any way that their judgment was
very poor. Good intentions are not enough; acting with common sense and awareness of
the needs and feelings of others is also necessary. Like Mrs. Young, I’m sorry that Taylor
and Lindsey have learned the wrong lesson, thanks to people with axes to grind or with no
patience for hearing all the circumstances.
“tinyredcheck” By the way, how many people do you know who would readily eat home-
baked cookies left anonymously on their porch? Do you remember why homemade
food is no longer considered a Halloween treat?.
