We’ve been so busy fighting the “blawg” scourge that threatens
our profession and language, that we almost missed the brave
cultural/linguisitc battle launched by Microsoft’s Robert Scoble
on February 5, 2006:
“I’ve seen several geek projects lately use the
‘r’ naming that Flickr made popular and I don’t like it.”
Valleywag joined the fray in defense of the English Language,
explaining Scoble’s cause and then offering a kinder, and
perhaps more effective response:
“Robrt Scoble says he’s sick of Flickr-style *r names
Microsoft bloggr be kindr in his dismissal?”
“Valleywag readrs are urged to donate “e”s to needy
trendoids. By cutting “e”s and passing on the credits
to these Web 2.0 victims, you too can be a hro.”
That’s right, Scoble wants the “e” put back in the “agent”
-er suffix. Valleywag is right that we should try to help the
culturally impoverished, who are so indifferent or ignorant of
their language legacy. To help those who are particularly im-
pervious to subtle gestures, we suggest that you dig out any
old, unused Scrabble games and remove the 12 “e” tiles.
Then, send one each to the dozen trendoids you know who
most need a reminder of how our language operates (perhaps
with instructions).
We want to go further, however, and try to understand this
hypo-e disorder — especially after having such informative
discussions recently with two linguists at Language Log.
You can help by commenting on some of the possible
theories and suggesting your own:
Virtually Out of E’s: Did our troubled trendoids
simply run out of e’s over the last decade, after
sticking one in front of every pre-existing concept
that found its way into computers or onto the internet?
word “weblog” by chopping off its “we-,” did they
grow up without any sense of conscience over
abandonment of e’s and other forms of language
abuse and neglect?
little word to denominate weblogs
should have created a surplus by now of
trillions of extra e’s. (The w’s, however,
were surely used up in all those URLs,
because compu-nerds took the only letter that
is not mono-syllabic and used it three times
— forcing speakers to say 9 syllables when-
ever giving out a website address. Sorry,
wrong vent.)
instant messaging and tiny handheld devices burned
out the crucial “e” synapses in trendoid brains,
while also rapidly aging their thumbs?
most of their real-word reading in traffic, at red lights
— thus mistaking license plate lingo for literature?
One thing for sure: haiku writers did not cause the shrinkage
of the agent-e-suffix. We don’t care about letter count, and
Flickr, Grabbr and the rest still have two syllables each.
We need your input and your e’s. You’ve (almost) never let
us down before. Don’t start now. No Quittrs allowed.
for the great pointr. (makes my skincrawl just
looking at those pathetic e-less non-words.)
update (Feb. 6, 6 PM): I don’t know whether UPenn linguist
Benjamin Zimmer talks fast, but he surely does read and type
quickly. He’s already posted at Language Log in reaction to
this post, reminding us of prior campaigns seeking the
donation of letters.
update (Feb. 7, 2005): A Comment from Pat M. pointed me
to Georges Perec‘s 2005 novel A Void (translated from the
French by Gilbert Adair): The book was written (and trans-
lated) without using the letter “e.” This tour de force deserves
its own post, and it got one today — sought: haiku-sans-e, in
which haiku poets are asked to submit a haiku that is e-less.
A Void, by Georges Perec
here are examples of some real English and real haiku
from teacher Tom Painting and accountant paul m:
midday blues
a row of icicles
taking shape
nursing home
my father
the way I left him
“midday blues” – mariposa 13
“nursing home” – Haiku Poets of No. Calif,
senryu contest, hon mention 2004
daffodil shoots–
all these years
as an accountant
orderly fields
of an Amish farm
the things I can’t tell her
drifting seed fluff . . .
the rented horse
knows an hour’s worth
“orderly fields” – Acorn 14
“daffodil shoots” – The Heron’s Nest (Sept. 2005)
“drifting seed fluff” – The Heron’s Nest (June 2005)
February 7, 2006
bummr: where did all those e’s go?
6 Comments
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Your “e” rant reminded me of one of my favorite e-songs, “Silent E,” by Tom Lehrer. Here are the lyrics:
Who can turn a can into a cane?
Who can turn a pan into a pane?
It’s not too hard to see
It’s silent e
Who can turn a cub into a cube?
Who can turn a tub into a tube?
It’s elementary
For silent e
He took a pin and turned it into pine
He took a twin and turned him into twine
Who can turn a cap into a cape?
Who can turn a tap into a tape?
A little glob becomes a globe instantly
If you just add silent e
He turned a dam – alikazam! – into a dame
But my friend sam stayed just the same
Who can turn a man into a mane?
Who can turn a van into a vane?
A little hug becomes huge instantly
Don’t add w, don’t add x, and don’t add y or z,
Just add silent e
Perhaps the “offendrs” are just afraid of the power of silent e.
Also, as I fellow Scrabble fan, I highly recommend “Word Freak” by Stefan Fatsis. It’s all about the world of competitive Scrabble.
Comment by Lisa Solomon — February 7, 2006 @ 9:34 pm
Your “e” rant reminded me of one of my favorite e-songs, “Silent E,” by Tom Lehrer. Here are the lyrics:
Who can turn a can into a cane?
Who can turn a pan into a pane?
It’s not too hard to see
It’s silent e
Who can turn a cub into a cube?
Who can turn a tub into a tube?
It’s elementary
For silent e
He took a pin and turned it into pine
He took a twin and turned him into twine
Who can turn a cap into a cape?
Who can turn a tap into a tape?
A little glob becomes a globe instantly
If you just add silent e
He turned a dam – alikazam! – into a dame
But my friend sam stayed just the same
Who can turn a man into a mane?
Who can turn a van into a vane?
A little hug becomes huge instantly
Don’t add w, don’t add x, and don’t add y or z,
Just add silent e
Perhaps the “offendrs” are just afraid of the power of silent e.
Also, as I fellow Scrabble fan, I highly recommend “Word Freak” by Stefan Fatsis. It’s all about the world of competitive Scrabble.
Comment by Lisa Solomon — February 7, 2006 @ 9:34 pm
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. Good lyrics. Of course, you’ve reminded me of one of my biggest language-abuse complaints: In the past two decades — thanks largely to people in the music industry and the names they’ve given themselves — our younger folk have no concept of the Silent E Rule. Not only can “can” be pronounced like “cain”, but “cane” can be pronounced like “canny.”
We have let them take the language whose pronunciation rules and customs are probably the most difficult in human history and make them many times harder. It is much more difficult to look at any word [especially names] and know how it is pronounced, or to hear a word and know how it is spelled.
As for “Word Freak,” I’ve seen it and found it interesting and enjoyable, but could not relate very well to all the memorization and stress [and geekiness]. Of course, I say this as someone who once knew all the two-letter words in the Scrabble dictionary — but, who has forgotten many of them and won’t let myself look up the latest list.
Comment by David Giacalone — February 7, 2006 @ 10:38 pm
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. Good lyrics. Of course, you’ve reminded me of one of my biggest language-abuse complaints: In the past two decades — thanks largely to people in the music industry and the names they’ve given themselves — our younger folk have no concept of the Silent E Rule. Not only can “can” be pronounced like “cain”, but “cane” can be pronounced like “canny.”
We have let them take the language whose pronunciation rules and customs are probably the most difficult in human history and make them many times harder. It is much more difficult to look at any word [especially names] and know how it is pronounced, or to hear a word and know how it is spelled.
As for “Word Freak,” I’ve seen it and found it interesting and enjoyable, but could not relate very well to all the memorization and stress [and geekiness]. Of course, I say this as someone who once knew all the two-letter words in the Scrabble dictionary — but, who has forgotten many of them and won’t let myself look up the latest list.
Comment by David Giacalone — February 7, 2006 @ 10:38 pm
Just another absent e curiosity: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1567922961/qid=1139417207/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-3198114-1938431?s=books&v=glance&n=283155
Comment by Pat M. — February 8, 2006 @ 11:51 am
Just another absent e curiosity: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1567922961/qid=1139417207/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-3198114-1938431?s=books&v=glance&n=283155
Comment by Pat M. — February 8, 2006 @ 11:51 am