f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

February 14, 2006

valentine quickies (cont.)

Filed under: pre-06-2006 — David Giacalone @ 10:41 pm

Yes, it’s 10 P. M. on February 14, 2006, and I’m here working

at my weblog.  Sigh.  Might as well write a few Quickie blurbs

relating to Valentine’s Day.




When it’s February 13, and I don’t have a Valentine’s sweetheart,

I resign myself to the situation.  Looking at my Came-From/Referer

Page yesterday, however, there were a few visitors who still seemed

to be using search engines in search of romance.


Here are a few examples:

tiny check  There were 43 million results for the Yahoo Search! 

will pay for a wife>  The #1 result was a link to a notice from

Rod Barnett that he’s “Offering a $10,000 reward to anyone that

introduces me to the woman that I marry (or propose to).”


I don’t know whether the querist found Rod’s link useful, but I’m

fairly certain that the link to f/k/a was a blind alley.  That’s because

the #5 result was to our post called no need to pay for a living will

which also included this poem from Kobayashi Issa:

still no wife

his voice grows hoarse …



   Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

                                                                                                         dog black


tiny check  Meanwhile, someone was looking for hot chicks with pit bulls>.

There were 777,000 results to that Google query, and #2 was a

surely disappointing link to our coverage of the 1-800-PIT-BULL

advertising case.




sumoS  Another Google query wondered about sumo life expectancy>. I’d

guess the searcher was deciding whether to make a lifelong commitment

to a sumo wrestler.  The sad fact, I learned by following the link back, is

that “Sumo wrestlers have a life expectancy of between 60 and 65, more

than 10 years less than the average Japanese male.”  That #2 result, from 

Wikipedia, was quite informative — far more than #5, which led to our post 

on the new pope‘s life expectancy.   On the other hand, if the Googler is

practical, this Issa poem — that appears on the same page — might spark

some romance:

he makes

a fine wind-break…

sumo wrestler


   Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

                                                                                  penny sm


tiny check  Finally, lawyers are not known for being romantic. Nevertheless,

I’d like to think it was a 2L trying to demonstrate his sensitivity,

who asked Google to find lincoln on lawyers avoid litigation>.

Maybe our post A Lincolnesque Law Practice? , which was the

#1 result, supplied the magic words that won the heart of the fair

lady-lawyer to be. Once again, alternative dispute resolution bridges

the gap and brings two parties together.  Sigh.



If you’re into a more academic approach to romance, take a look at

Joshua Foer’s op/ed “A kiss isn’t just a kiss, in yesterday’s International 

Herald Tribune.   Foer notes the great variety of kisses (as demonstrated

by the German language, which has words for 30 different kinds) and asks:

“How did a single act become a medium for so many messages? “


There follows a quick summary of theories on the origins of kissing, gleaned

from numerous social sciences.  Foer tells us that  “According to some

cultural historians, it is only within the last 800 years,with the advent of

effective dentistry and the triumph over halitosis, that the lips were freed

to become an erogenous zone.”  Despite his youthful perspective as a

20-something, foer concludes the piece with some sage advice:

“Whatever its origins, kissing seems to be advantageous. 

A study conducted during the 1980’s found that men who

kiss their wives before leaving forwork live longer, get into

fewer car accidents and have a higher income than married

men who don’t.


“So put down this newspaper and pucker up. It does a body



tiny check Of course, some good haiku is also good for the body and soul.

So, we’ll offer a pair each from Peggy Lyles and Michael Dylan Welch

before we go:

Valentine’s Day
she reminds me
to fasten my seatbelt   






moving day–

the coolness on my cheek

after the kiss





“Valentine’s Day” HSA Brady Contest; a glimpse of red: RMA 2000

“moving day” – Frogpond XXVII:1; tug of the current: RMA 2004





he comes to bed

cleanshaven . . .

winter stars






good morning kiss

wing beats

of the hummingbird


“he comes to bed” – Loose Change, (HSA Mem Anthology 2005,)



tiny check My big sister just sent me a link to an article about St. Valentine.

Click here for the history and story behind the eponymous Saint. (Catholic

News Service, “Forgotten man – Valentine’s Day originated from wise,

caring bishop,”Feb. 10, 2006.)


seesaw As we said a year ago, whether a couple or a singleton,

may you all feel loved and appreciated on this Valentine’s Day!


Valentine’s Day —
the new sign says
“Thin Ice”



“tinyredcheck”  Don’t forget ukku spring haiku, your 

poetic window on the coming of Spring 2006.



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