f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

March 9, 2006

plumb out of energy

Filed under: pre-06-2006 — David Giacalone @ 6:57 pm

This is one of those days when being a non-employed person is a plus.

My energy level and attention span are both de minimis.  If I were still

practicing law, I’d have to be one of those non-hourly billers.


Since I’m just an old weblogger, I can get away without doing any heavy-

lifting – a lightweight story and some tiny poems, to match my level of


phone old  Speaking of heavy-lifting: three different companies

have left large phone books on my stoop in the past two weeks

(Verizon, TransWestern, and TalkingPhoneBook).  They all

purport to cover the New York Capital Region (Albany, Schen-

ectady, Troy, Saratoga Springs). I see piles of each of them

everywhere.  What a waste of paper, advertising expenses, etc. 

I’m glad I don’t pay by the pound for my trash removal.


                                                                                one third gray


Naturally, personal injury law firms are all over the covers and

pull-outs for each book.  That’s fine, they have the right to ad-

vertise and to be tacky.  However, I can’t help but think that

those full-page ads are cost-effective for them, but not for other 

types of lawyers, because p/i lawyers are taking far too much

money from many of their clients.  The standard contingency

fee cheats lots of clients. (There, I’ve said it again.)


In light of our recent discussion of “the” Heavy Hitter lawyer from

Nevada, I was curious to see a fullpage ad (in the telephone book

that arrived today) by a fellow in Albany, NY, who’s tagline is:

                                                                       “A” Real Plumber

                                                                                          RealPlumberV detail



I don’t think there is a Plumber Advertising Commission that banned

the term “The Real Plumber.”  So, I figured this was just another

telephone book editing error.  Just to make sure, though, I went to the

website of Winston J. LaPierre, Master Plumber.  To my surprise, he

really did want to say “A” Real Plumber, as his trucks have those

words painted in large red letters, over white.  See photo.


tiny check  My preference, as his marketing advisor, would be

A “Real” Plumber.   But, this is the “real” haiku

advocacy website.

Thinking Plumber LaPierre might be trying to get to the front of the

alphabet with this tagline, I flipped through all three of my new phone

books.  In each, however, AAA Marc’s Plumbing and A A Sewer &

Drain snuck in ahead of LaPierre’s A Real Plumber. 


a key a key


That notion led me to wonder whether we have any AAA or AA lawyers

in our region.  As a matter of fact, we do: AA Stephen Commins, on

Wolf Rd. in the Albany suburb of Colonie, NY, is the first listing in all

three yellow pages under lawyers. [he has no website, but see his on-

line directory listing here for an example.]  As a Scrabble player, I know

that “aa” is a word (meaning “rough lava”). To make sure “AA” isn’t act-

ually Commins’ given name, I went to the NYS Attorney Registration page. 

To my surprise, there was no result for either “AA Stephen Commins”

or “Stephen Commins.”  I’ll try his office tomorrow to see if Mr. Com-

mins goes by another name.

tiny check  I wonder how many A’s you’d have to put in front of

your name in the phone book before the Nevada

Attorney Advertising Commission claimed the con-

sumer is being misled. 



You’re going to have to take my word that I had a lot more topics

as interesting as the one above, that I had hoped to share with

you today.  However, I have run out of steam. 


“tinyredcheck”  Luckily, haijin Ed Markowski never runs out of poetic

inspiration – especially when it comes to round balls 

(and food) (and romance).  Here are a few from Ed for

a March evening:




long rebound

crossing mid-court

she crosses my mind








Indiana farm

one tractor

three hoops






calligraphy class

the point guard

pens a nike swoosh







        rained out

                the ticket scalper

                    panhandles for bus fare









new neighborhood

   i strike out another

      invisible man










rain delay

the length of the lines

at the stadium restrooms





late innings

the shortstop backpedals

into fireflies






distant thunder

the home run hitter

drops a bunt





  “red hots!”

for an instant i’m ten


  father’s still alive



  “distant thunder”   – from games (pawEprint 78, Nov. 2004)




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