f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

Heads-up: If you think discovery of the Judas Gospel was exciting, wait until

we all get our hands on the newly-found An Easter Carol by Charles Dickens.

All the details have not yet been released, because the previously unknown

text has apparently been stolen by a rightwing, Hendricksonian anti-tax group.

A Christmas Carol (1999) (Patrick Stewart)

Here’s what f/k/a‘s investigatory team has learned so far:

An Easter Carol was apparently drafted by Dickens

before the release of his A Christmas Carol, but an

antitaxation publisher refused to print it.

Ebenezer Scrooge is also the protagonist of An Easter

Carol. He is, of course, a dreadful miser, and — to use

a term coined by Your Editor — a tax-whiner.

Scrooge (1970) (Albert Finney)

The discovered text has a plot remarkedly

similar to A Christmas Carol, with Scrooge

uttering his famous quote about Easter, rather

than Christmas: “a time for finding yourself a

year older, and not an hour richer”.

Scrooge is again visited by three Ghosts, and

has a total reformation — much of it due to the Easter

message of love and sacrifice for all.

A Christmas Carol (1984) (George C. Scott)

Again, the depiction of Ignorance and

Want moves Scrooge greatly, and he

vows to help raise public funds to assure

excellent education and a basic safety-net

for all of his fellow Britains. Tiny Tim’s death

also turns Scrooge into an advocate of universal

health care.

We hope that Prof. Maule and Prof. Carron will help us learn more about this Dickensian treasure. Until then, you might want to peruse some of f/ka–ethicalEsq‘s Tax Day Postings Past, which are in the spirit of An Easter Carol:

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Albany Times Union/Barbara Cummings

– Trying to Tolerate Tax-Whiners (2003) [good stuff!]

– Tax-Whiner-Free Zone (2004)

– taxes and sycophants in athens (2005)

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Also above is an image of Your Editor’s first Tax-Whiner

op/ed, from the Albany Times Union (“The Annual Whine

Festival,” March 31, 1998, B1)

second day
of the New Year:
taxes arrive

………………………….  Tom Clausen

from Homework (2000)

tax audit —
dents in damp grass
from the mower’s wheels

………………………………….  michael dylan welch

The Heron’s Nest (July 2004)

tax day —
a battery-powered breeze
stirs the desk chimes

…………………… by Billie Wilson from The Heron’s Nest

Scrooged (1998) (Dan Murray)