f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

July 25, 2008

big boo for botoxed bridesmaids

Filed under: Haiku or Senryu,viewpoint — David Giacalone @ 1:35 pm

Like any normal American male, I often find myself both amused and appalled by the Fashion & Style Section of the New York Times. Appalled — and apprehensive over the state of our nation’s soul — was my main reaction to yesterday’s article titled “It’s Botox for you Dear Bridesmaids” (by Abby Ellin, July 24, 2008). In the piece, we meet bride-to-be Kacey Knauer, for whom “cosmetic interventions for herself and her entourage are as vital as the centerpieces or food.”

With help from an aesthetician, Kacey and many other women planning their weddings are now adding treatment plans for bridesmaids — “a quick chemical peel, say, or an injection of a wrinkle-filler,” or perhaps a series of Fraxel laser treatments over months [which “could set you back $1,200 a session”]. Over months? Yep:

“[Camille] Meyer of TriBeCa MedSpa suggests that a bride contact her the minute the question is popped. ‘ . . . If you have to do eight treatments, six weeks apart, that could take up to a year, she said.” And,

“It is no longer sufficient to hire a hairstylist and makeup artist to be on hand the day of. Instead, bridal parties are indulging in dermal fillers and tooth-whitening months before the Big Day.”

Okay, I admit that I’m a little bit touchy about this subject, and have been since certain female relatives strongly suggested that my brother and I needed to get haircuts for our sister’s wedding back in 1971. We both declined and were said by some to have “ruined your sister’s wedding photos.” [see their proffered proof at the head and foot of this posting] That little incident, combined with my natural distaste for ostentatious expenditures of money in the vain hope of creating a “perfect wedding” for the bride, plus many tales of chubby or pimply cousins left out of bridal parties, make me shudder to know that:

  • “Dr. Fardad Forouzanpour, a cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills, Calif., said his business has increased more than 40 percent since he began offering what he calls Bridal Beauty Buffets in 2006.” And,
  • “In the last two years, bridal party tuneups have increased roughly 25 percent, estimated Susie Ellis, the president of SpaFinder.com, a site that lists 4,500 spas worldwide.”

Even worse, it’s the over-30 brides (and grooms) — who simply should have better priorities — who are leading this new trend, as they are most likely to have wrinkly girlfriends and mothers. Happily, the NYT article informs us :

  • “But for every accommodating pal, there’s another who feels going under the knife is beyond the duty of bridesmaid. Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced.” And,
  • “A bride’s request that you whiten your grayish teeth can strain a relationship.”

Of course, the Times writer has cogent advice: “And how does a bride break it to a mother-in-law that she’d love her crow’s feet to be frozen into submission? Very delicately.” You can draw your own conclusions about this new trend in wedding-party beautification. Sadly, it looks like neither Issa nor I will be invited to be best man, or to give away a bride, at any posh weddings this year.

shielding a wrinkled
paper fan of Edo

comparing my wrinkles
with the pickled plums…
first winter rain

looking up, wrinkles
looking down, wrinkles…
a cold night

tired of walking
my wrinkled arm
the flea jumps

lightning flash–
no way to hide
the wrinkles

by the maiden flower…
my wrinkled foot

the night spent looking
at my wrinkled hands…
autumn rain

………….. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue




rain on
my bald spot —
recalling dry-scalp Aprils


. . . . . david giacalone – Magnapoets JF
poem – Haiku Harvest (Spring 2006, Vol. 6 No. 1)


wedding rehearsal
she models her new
cup size

ceremony over
the bride unveils
her tattoo

… by roberta beary – Simply Haiku (Winter 2005)

hazy harvest moon
the face I met
when our skin was smooth

………. by David Giacalone – The Heron’s Nest (Vol. IX: 4, Dec. 2007)
Happy 60th Anniversary to Mama and Papa Giacalone –

. . . . . . .

Everywhere I Look
by Roberta Beary

products promise me younger looking skin now that sixty
is the new forty in a world where no one grows old
movie stars with wrinkles look so last century

purple bouquet
it looked so good
in the store

– haibun from Frogpond, Vol. 31:2 (Spring/Summer 2008) –

. . . . . .


junk drawer
under a pile of tangled laces
our wedding portrait

…………. by ed markowski

Linda & Brian marry (April, 1971), without an aesthetician intervention. Naturally, the bride did not need one.



  1. I don’t know Linda, but can you imagine asking someone in 1971 whether they would like something called a “chemical peel,” much less one that cost $1200?!

    Comment by Anne — July 25, 2008 @ 2:13 pm

  2. Did you say bow-ties for the groom’s men?

    Comment by David Giacalone — July 25, 2008 @ 2:46 pm

  3. They are stylin’!!!

    Comment by Anne — July 26, 2008 @ 4:23 pm

  4. much less than $1200; depends on where you go. Some cosmetic skin treatments can go as much as $5,000. I went to a few different places and that was the case.

    Comment by terri — August 25, 2008 @ 1:18 pm

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