f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

.. . . $19.95 Beautiful Lawyers Calendar . . . .

At f/k/a, we give our calendars away for free — even when they showcase lawyers showing a little skin or acting up in barefeet. Here, for example, are details from the months of June and August 2008, as seen in our downloadable fka Haiga Memories Calendar 2008. [Click the images to view — and print out — the full calendar page for each month, featuring the Giacalone Kids, circa 1950.]

[June ’08] . . our calendar beefcake . . [Aug. ’08]

You can imagine, therefore, our surprise to learn that some folks in Massachusetts are charging $19.95 apiece for their so-called Beautiful Lawyers Calendar 2009. According to the Beautiful Lawyers website, the calendar will feature “12 exceptional lawyers, some your colleagues… many well known attorneys… All selected from a huge nomination pool . . . All players in their own right, each with a unique story… full of style and spirit!” Not convinced yet to shell out twenty bucks? Read on:

“The 2009 Beautiful Lawyers Calendar is designed to navigate behind the scenes at some of America’s top law firms, most prestigious businesses and government offices. To present the lawyers at those businesses and institutions as they are in their relaxed environment… pursuing their passions… the person behind the power suit.”

Attorney Howie Altholtz teamed up with the advertising Agency Allen-Roche Group Inc., and David Yas, publisher of Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly to create and market the Calendar. For even more details, see Bob Ambrogi’s report at Legal Blog Watch (Sept. 10, 2008); David Yas’ publisher’s weblog at Mass. Lawyers Weekly (September 8, 2008); and the article ‘Beautiful lawyers’ calendar to raise cash for charity (Boston Business Journal, May 30, 2008;).

Of course, merely owning this fine piece of barristerial wall candy might not satisfy your need to bask in the glow of Boston’s legal establishment. Cheer up, there’s more: for a mere $75 donation, you’re invited to attend “the hottest Calendar release party of the year,” on October 1, 2008, at the Revolution Rock Club, in Boston. Being fervid fans of Calendar Release Parties, the entire f/k/a Gang is naturally disappointed that we won’t be able to make it to Boston for the Big Calendar Event.

Not convinced? If schmoozing with and gazing at Boston’s hottest lawyers still won’t get you to open your wallets, don’t forget that “A portion of the proceeds will benefit Greater Boston Legal Services and other selected beneficiaries.”

By now, we’ve surely melted the hearts and opened the checkbooks of even the most cynical of our audience members. Nevertheless, it’s Saturday night, and Prof. Yabut is home alone again without a date. That might explain his continuing, cranky reaction to all this beautiful news. With his change purse grasped tightly in both hands, Yabut asks:

• What’s with the “A portion of the proceeds” dodge? The BBJ article says “The calendar will likely cost between $20,000 and $30,000 to produce.” That might leave a rather tiny pie to partially split among the targeted charities. Portion/schmortion. Can’t a bunch of well-off lawyers be a bit more specific about how much of the price is going to charity?

• Besides the comely come-on image above (of Liberty Mutual attorney Wendy Savage), just what are we going to be getting for our money with this calendar? Remember, the subjects are members of the Boston Bar. BBJ tell us: “”

“Lawyers will pose in one serious photo at work and one ‘tasteful’ photo of them participating in an outside work activity. One example given is a sailboat setting.”

Are you excited yet?

• What’s Mass. Lawyers Weekly role in this project? Censor and Dignity Cop? The last time we wrote about them here at f/k/a, publisher David Yas was knuckling under to pressure from the bar’s neo-puritan wing, with their bogus charges of sexism, and yanking this glam shot Jiwani ad from WLW:

big

Be assured, that the rest of the editorial staff at f/k/a is a little embarrassed that Prof. Yabut is being such an old curmudgeon and skinflint. We bet, however, that we could change his mind — and get a retraction and favorable review — if Altholtz and Yas sent Yabut a review copy of the calendar. Of course, if he doesn’t like it, we promise to donate (at least a portion of the calendar) to charity. That’s a beautiful deal.

[larger] update (October 2, 2008): The launch party was yesterday, so see our image-filled post today with links to photos from the Beautiful Lawyers Calendar, and names of many of the featured lawyers.

update (October 23, 2008): See our post “wendy savage wendy savage” (October 23, 2008) for more on Ms. Savage and several of her namesakes.

fine print on her t-shirt
she glares at me
for squinting

. . . Poem: David Giacalone; Photo: Mama G. (1950);
. . . see the original haiga here and at Magnapoets JF–

p.s. (September 16, 2008): Many thanks to Elie at Above the Law for pointing to this post at the top of yesterday’s AtL Non Sequiturs list (September 15, 2008), and for reminding us that Anna Torv from Fringe looks pretty good in a lawyer suit. Welcome to all the AtL readers who stopped by; I promise not to tell your managing partners why those billable hours plummet every time Elie adds a new posting.