f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

My alter egos all agree: We need to post more ONEsies [Odds-N-Ends] here at f/k/a — short, simple blurbs that succinctly point to, quote from, or opine upon stories or topics of interest. For one thing, they would cut a lot less into our (and your) nap time than the Editor’s customary prolix punditry. Denizens of this website know we’ve tried “one-breath punditry” before and (despite our poetic preference for tiny poems) have found it very difficult to be persistently pithy. Nonetheless, being curmudgeons, we’re all secret-optimists at heart, so here we go again — taking a deep breath and trying to keep it short, with a lotta help from Kobayashi Issa and his talented translator Professor David G. Lanoue.

the plowman
shows me a shortcut…
evening

.. ..

Click to see a MySpace video of Caloon Saloon performing “Odds & Ends” by Bob Dylan with Antoine Gratton.

on my sleeve
catching his breath…
worn-out firefly

…. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

Speaking of Onesies: We’re still waiting for follow-up news on the Got Milk? vs Got Breastmilk? controversy that burst into the news a few weeks ago. See our “got jugs?” post from July 30th. So far, Paul Bratton, the Alaska Backwoods Lawyer who represents the artist who made the controversial Got Breastmilk? Onesies and t-shirts has not offered any updates. If you have information on the latest stage of this trademark battle, please let us know.

a baby boy
cries for milk…
glorious blossoms

.. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

.. Hillary Hijacking the Convention: Yes, we’ve pledged to avoid writing political commentary at this weblog and have tried hard to stifle the urge, but (thankfully) Maureen Dowd surely hasn’t. In yesterday’s NYT column, “Yes, She Can” (New York Times, Aug. 13, 2008), Dowd tells how “In just a couple of weeks, Bill and Hill were able to drag No Drama Obama into a swamp of Clinton drama,” making the up-coming Democratic Presidential Convention “all about them.” I was annoyed to see that:

“Obama also allowed Hillary supporters to insert an absurd statement into the platform suggesting that media sexism spurred her loss and that ‘demeaning portrayals of women … dampen the dreams of our daughters’.”

But, I’m pleased to quote Dowd’s response:

It would have been better to put this language in the platform: “A woman who wildly mismanages and bankrupts a quarter-of-a-billion-dollar campaign operation, and then blames sexism in society, will dampen the dreams of our daughters.”

his detested wife’s
violets…
all have bloomed

pretending not to see
his wife’s face…
defeated wrestler

… by Issa and Lanoue

.. Trolleys and Train Tunnels: On the same day that the New York Times has a big spread about the hopeful future of streetcars in our nation’s cities, the Schenectady Daily Gazette, its Upstate minor-league cousin, reports on the discovery — about a block from where I live — of what appears to be the first-ever railway tunnel in the nation.

• In “Downtowns Across the U.S. See Streetcars in Their Future” (New York Times, Aug. 14, 2008) we learn that: “At least 40 cities are exploring streetcar plans to spur economic development, ease traffic congestion and draw young professionals and empty-nest baby boomers back from the suburbs, according to the Community Streetcar Coalition, which includes city officials, transit authorities and engineers who advocate streetcar construction.”

Your editor misses the streetcars that still ran in Georgetown, when he was a college kid in DC, and has fond memories of those that are still operating in the Boston area. If you’re interesting in trolleys and streetcars, go to the APTA (American Public Transportation Association) Streetcar and Heritage Trolley Site, where you’ll find an illustrated overview of urban heritage trolley or modern streetcar systems currently operating in the United States and Canada, with a background description, photos and maps of each system.

cold sky
a trolley headlight
cresting the hill

… by paul m. – The Heron’s Nest (2000)

• Sorry, Cleveland: According to Schenectady City Historian Don Rittner, he uncovered yesterday “the country’s first rudimentary railroad tunnel, buried in the center of the historic Stockade district.” See “Find may be the first railway tunnel” (Daily Gazette, by Kathleen Moore, Aug. 14, 2008):

. . . . “The 15-foot-deep tunnel snakes its way across what are now a dozen or more private backyards. But in 1832, that land was a major thoroughfare — the foundation of the city’s prosperity and growth for the next century. . . . Hundreds of business owners and daring families rode through the tunnel on trains so experimental that they were considered too dangerous [due to speed and sparks] to be allowed on city streets.”

Cleveland already displays what it claims to be the first railroad tunnel. However, Rittner says Cleveland’s was built two years after Schenectady’s — whose entrance was also the first junction of two railroad companies, according to Rittner. He’s hoping to convince the McDonald family, which owns The Stockade Inn, to let him dig up a portion of the tunnel nearby and display it forever under a see-through cover.

a big snow–
the exit tunnel
is my lucky direction

.. by Issa and Lanoue

tunnel of love
she props the stuffed frog
between us

– Ed Markowski

subway blues
strummin’ light
through the tunnel

.. by Pamela Miller Ness from pink light, sleeping
(Small Poetry Press, 1998)

Psst, Meester, Wanna Buy a Beeg Car?: If you’ve been shopping for a small, fuel-efficient car — whether new or used — you know they’ve spiked up in price over the past few months. The flip-side of that phenomenon, of course, is the rapid decrease in value of S.U.V.’s and pickup trucks. Yesterday’s New York Times describes “An S.U.V. traffic jam” (Aug. 13, 2008), saying “The market for sport utility vehicles is starting to look a lot like the housing market, spreading pain to consumers, automakers and dealers.” For many families, switching now from an SUV to a small car means “selling low and buying high,” but they are doing just that, even though crunching the numbers would suggest they hold onto that dinosaur a bit longer (and instead try to drive a lot less). The NYT article explores the logic, the psychological dissonance, and the stark reality for manufacturers, dealers and consumers, in response to high gas prices.

Despite our long loathing of unnecessarily large vehicles, the f/k/a Gang is successfully avoiding the congenital urge to say “We told you so.” So far, EQ and empathy are winning over schadenfreude — but, we’re only human.

world of suffering–
when the gods travel, too
a storm

… by Issa and Lanoue

This time Scalia’s Right (about Legal Writing): We often disagree with the often-disagreeable Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (see our post “wordless Italian with Nino“). But, he made a couple of very good points last Saturday in a speech to “the Scribes” — the American Society of Legal Writers. See “Scalia: Legal Writing Doesn’t Exist” (ABAJournalNews, Aug. 9, 2008). In accepting a lifetime achievement award, the Crusty Justice to the Scribes “I do not believe that legal writing exists.” Scalia went on the explain:

“That is to say, I do not believe it exists as a separate genre of writing. Rather, I think legal writing belongs to that large, undifferentiated, unglamorous category of writing known as nonfiction prose. Someone who is a good legal writer would, but for the need to master a different substantive subject, be an equivalently good writer of history, economics or, indeed, theology.”

While teaching legal writing, a young Antonin Scalia correctly came to understand, “I as I think it must become to clear to anyone who is burdened with the job of teaching legal writing, that what these students lacked was not the skill of legal writing, but the skill of writing at all. To tell the truth, at as late a stage as law school, I doubt this skill can be taught.” The only hope to remedy that problem, according to Scalia, is the realization of two prerequisites for self-improvement in writing:

1. “the realization—and it occurred to my students as an astounding revelation – that there is an immense difference between writing and good writing.” And
2. “that it takes time and sweat to convert the former into the later.”

helping the child’s hand
write it…
the “Star Poem“

walking on alone
I write on a wall…
autumn dusk

.. by Issa and Lanoue

Naturally, you knew . . .: Our perceptive readers surely figured it out long before the f/k/a Gang did: Writing a whole bunch of ONEsies, with poetry and images, saved us absolutely no time. We’ve frittered away almost an entire afternoon, on a rather balmy summer day. No nap or hammock time achieved yet today. None on the horizon. It’s back to the drawing board for a new strategy or Mission Statement for f/k/a.

weary cormorant–
no festival holiday
for you

so weary–
cool tree shade makes me
double back

.. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

On a slow summer afternoon, the f/k/a Gang is often in a “year ago today” kind of mood — having learned long agao that rummaging in our archives can be a cheap, easy way to fill up a weblog posting. It’s been extra-sleepy around here all day, and with the evening approaching and nothing prepared to post, we’ve quickly checked out what was happening at f/k/a on the 13th of August in other years. We hope you’ll enjoy our reminiscence.

In 2008, as in 2007, August 12th and 13th bring the peak of the annual Perseid meteor shower. Click here for some great photos from 2007. And check your skies tonight for a heavenly show.

long after
the fireworks
a shooting star

…. by George Swede from Almost Unseen

trail dust settles—
a shooting star bobs
over a spider’s turret

… by Michael Dylan Welch – from Thornewood Poems

August 13, 2007 — Was a Monday, and we were praising “inspired solo” Sheryl Sisk Shelin for presenting Blawg Review #121 without the artifice of an awkward theme. See our post “having no inspiration can be inspiring.”

On a substantive note, we wrote about Our Uninspired Health Care System:, with a discussion of a New York Times editorial “World’s Best Medical Care?” (Aug. 12, 2007). We opined that it was easy to agree with NYT that:

With health care emerging as a major issue in the presidential campaign and in Congress, it will be important to get beyond empty boasts that this country has “the best health care system in the world” and turn instead to fixing its very real defects. The main goal should be to reduce the huge number of uninsured, who are a major reason for our poor standing globally. . . . The world’s most powerful economy should be able to provide a health care system that really is the best.

The New York Times has coincidentally published another eye-opening piece about the American health care system today. In “Health Benefits Inspire Rush to Marry, or Divorce” (Aug. 13, 2008, by Kevin Sack), we learn that “it is not uncommon for couples to marry, or even to divorce, at least partly so one spouse can obtain or maintain health coverage.” For example:

“In a poll conducted this spring by the Kaiser Family Foundation, a health policy research group, 7 percent of adults said someone in their household had married in the past year to gain access to insurance. The foundation cautions that the number should not be taken literally, but rather as an intriguing indicator that some Americans ‘are making major life decisions on the basis of health care concerns’.”

I’ve got to say it again: I’m ashamed to live in such a such a wealthy nation, which constantly lectures other peoples about “human rights,” but whose people are apparently too greedy and selfish — or its leaders too much in the sway of powerful lobbies and bogus ideologies — to grant every American the basic right to universal health care. The number of lives that have been lost, families that have been bankrupted, and decisions (from careers to marriages) that have been skewed, because we lack universal health care coverage is shameful. [For more on how our (non-)system of medical care compares to those in other industrialized democracies, see our prior post “please watch and discuss ‘Sick Around the World’” (April 16, 2008).]

For haiku inspiration, a year ago today, we posted the following poems that were selected for the Shiki Haikusphere 10th Anniversary Anthology (2007) (full cover image)

Valentine’s Day –
pulling a thorn
from my palm

blue heron
all paddles
at rest

melting snow
headlines of war
fall apart

…………….. by Yu Chang

he’s gone
and gone too
the hydrangea

early spring walk
the roughness of the scarf
that was mother’s

first cold night
my fingers snug
in mother’s old gloves

…………… by Roberta Beary

disinfectant jar –
there must be 14 or 15
barber’s combs

clouding sky
my finger
on the bear track

broken tennis racket –
my aging father says
he won’t replace it

………………………… by Michael Dylan Welch

Two more from Yu Chang from Upstate Dim Sum 2007/I

just in time
to pick blueberries
August evening

lingering heat
the pale color
of green beans

August 13, 2005 — We posted “first kisses and brain freezes“, which was a quickie, featuring the following haiku and senryu:

first kiss
deep in the woods
sunbeams filter down

… by Randy Brooks from School’s Out (Press Here, 1999)

lemon-ice stand –
the lawyer-dad looks for
a Brain Freeze Warning

… by dagosan

August 13, 2004 – Was a “rainy Friday the 13th” and found the f/k/a Gang with eyes closed, in a virtual hammock, listening to the delightful Rumpole Rests His Case (2002), narrated by Tony Britton. We opened our collective eyes long enough to share a handful of one-breath poems:

rain stopped
her silk blouse
on the chair

.. by paul m., from A New Resonance 2: Emerging Voices (Jim Kacian, Dee Evetts, eds., Red Moon Press, 2001); orig. pub.: Modern Haiku XXIV:2

the far edge
of the sea is lost
misty rain

…. by jim kacian, from Chincoteagu (Red Moon Press, 2000)

sudden lightning–
the street mime
claps

… by michael dylan welch, from snow on the water: The Red Moon Anthology 1998 (Jim Kacian, et al, Eds.).

baker’s dozen of
bagels — we eschew
triskaidekaphobia

the garbage bag lands –
squirrel and I
startle eachother

… by dagosan

August 13, 2006 — We were in the midst of a posting hiatus — and probably spent the day on a comfy futon, parked in front of a fan or two. Hmmm. Sounds like a great idea. See you in our dreams.

A few days ago, we told you about cranky sleep–deprived lawyers. Because getting more sleep seems unrealistic for most of us, our search for solutions has focused on finding efficient, enjoyable, and easy ways to ingest copious amounts of caffeine. Naturally, a good cup of strong coffee comes to mind as the handiest method for overcoming the effects of too little sleep.

morning glories …
the bite & burn
of a double espresso

.. by ed markowski – Haiku Harvest (Fall/Winter 2005)

If you’re at all like the f/k/a Gang, coffee became an important part of your life right about the time you started your first real office job (for us, it was as a newbie lawyer) and discovered the joys of the bottomless free cup-a-joe in the snack room.

Monday again–
folks in the latte line
praise this morning’s moon

.. by Billie Wilson – Mariposa 11 (2004)

Of course, many Americans (such as Ms. Scheherazade at Stay of Execution) cringe at the suggestion of coffee as a cure for any ailment. They’ve been brain-washed into believing that there’s something unhealthy about drinking coffee, because all sorts of nannies in the health care sector have been trying over the past few decades to scare us away from coffee and caffeine with dire warnings of short- and long-term health risks.

Nonetheless, despite incessant nagging from close relatives and significant others (mostly of the female variety), most coffee drinkers have refused to give up imbibing their beloved, aromatic drink of choice.

Indeed, as we reported in “Your Coffee or Your Life?” (April 29, 2004), a survey several years ago found that coffee (not sex or chocolate) was mentioned by Senior Citizens most often as the item they would never give up just to stay youthful. Maybe age does bring wisdom.

the taste
of coffee –
the aftertaste

.. by dagosan [07-10-04]

It turns out that our stalwart fidelity to chronic coffee drinking (the real stuff, not that decaf impostor), has been vindicated. Over the past few years, there’s been a steady flow of research results to lighten the load and brighten the spirits of coffee lovers. See, e.g., our post “fill ‘er up” (Nov. 19, 2005), discussing the Harvard Gazette article “Coffee gets cleared of blood pressure risk; ” and the recent story in the Mainichi Daily News, “Caffeine enhances memory-forming brain cells, researchers find” (Aug. 6, 2008).

If your loved ones, or office mates, need more than your word (or even mine) that coffee is safe — and maybe even advantageous — for your health, the New York Times came to your assistance this week big-time, with the article “Sorting Out Coffee’s Contradictions” (by Jane E. Brody, Aug. 5, 2008). The Times notes that coffee is “America’s leading beverage and caffeine its most widely used drug,” and sees us as a “society determined to run hard on as little sleep as possible.” The article then sets up its central issue:

“But as with any product used to excess, consumers often wonder about the health consequences. And researchers readily oblige. Hardly a month goes by without a report that hails coffee, tea or caffeine as healthful or damns them as potential killers.

“Can all these often contradictory reports be right?”

Caffeine Myths Debunked: To counter “misguided information about caffeine and its most common source, coffee,” the NYT article presents the recent, comprehensive findings of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, and those of other research reports follow. See “Caffeine: The Good, the Bad and the Maybe,” Nutrition Action Health Letter, March 2008, Center for Science in the Public Interest (PDF, 2350 Kb). Thus, on a page captioned, What You May Not Need to Worry About, the NAH Letter debunks myths related to coffee and caffeine and Heart Disease, Cancer, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Osteoporosis, Dehydration, PMS, Weight Loss, and Growth.

“Coffee accounts for close to 75% of the caffeine we consumer.”

The NAH Letter’s Caffeine article, as summarized in the New York Times, explains a number of things Caffeine May Be Good For — including Parkinson’s Disease, Gallstones, and Headaches. More important, for our sleep-deprived lawyers and colleagues (who are prone to be cranky and less productive), it describes caffeine’s beneficial effects on Mental Performance, Physical Performance and Mood. For example:

• Mental Performance: Caffeine improves alertness and reaction time in people, whether they are habitual consumers of caffeine or not.

coffee
in a paper cup–
a long way from home

.. by Gary Hotham – breathmarks: haiku to read in the dark

In the sleep-deprived, “It improves almost everything you can measure,” says [Harris Lieberman, a U.S. Army Research psychologist]. “It makes you more alert, it seems like you can perform complex tasks better, and your memory is better.”

• [Note bene] Mood: “It’s no coincidence that people offer guests a cup of coffee.

“After consuming anywhere from 20 mg. to 200 mg. of caffeine, ‘people report increased well-being, happiness, energy, alertness, and sociability,” says caffeine expert Roland Griffiths of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.

• Physical Performance: Caffeine helps the body burn fat instead of carbohydrate, and it blunts the perception of pain. Both can boost endurance.

But Note: Caffeine reverses some of the psychological effects of alcohol, but not the physical ones — possibly making inebriated persons even more dangerous to themselves and others, because they think they’re okay.

After years of my primary care doctor telling me that coffee did not count toward my daily water-intake goal, because it is a diuretic, I was pleased to see in the NYT that:

“Hydration. It was long thought that caffeinated beverages were diuretics, but studies reviewed last year found that people who consumed drinks with up to 550 milligrams of caffeine produced no more urine than when drinking fluids free of caffeine. Above 575 milligrams, the drug was a diuretic.

“So even a Starbucks grande, with 330 milligrams of caffeine, will not send you to a bathroom any sooner than if you drank 16 ounces of pure water. Drinks containing usual doses of caffeine are hydrating and, like water, contribute to the body’s daily water needs.”

In addition, those of us with heart-related health anxieties over drinking coffee, can relax according to the Times:

“Contrary to common belief,” concluded cardiologists at the University of California, San Francisco, there is “little evidence that coffee and/or caffeine in typical dosages increases the risk” of heart attack, sudden death or abnormal heart rhythms.

Let me (well, let Ms. Brody of the NYT) summarize for those who have a cranky lawyer or other sleep–deprived curmudgeon in your household or office:

Health Benefits: Probably the most important effects of caffeine are its ability to enhance mood and mental and physical performance. . . . Millions of sleep-deprived Americans depend on caffeine to help them make it through their day and drive safely. The drug improves alertness and reaction time. In the sleep-deprived, it improves memory and the ability to perform complex tasks.

So, don’t lose any sleep over drinking too much coffee during the day (yes, it will keep you up if ingested close to your bedtime). Better living through chemistry was never so tasty or economical than when reaching for a good cup of coffee.

Disclaimer: No amount of coffee or caffeine can help the congenitally grumpy (and you know who you are).

By the Way: Our favorite way to brew up a cup of coffee is using a (manual, non-electric) one-serving Melitta-style drip cone. If you don’t have one, check out Ready Set Joe. As they say at the One Cup Coffee Lovers Weblog, “Good results always seemingly follow if you’re patient, pour your hot water slowly, and then kick back and relax with the coffee.” So, listen up, all you young wastrels still buying $3 lattes, instead of making a much cheaper cup yourself at home or at your desk. And See “Javanomics 101: Today’s Coffee is Tomorrow’s Debt” (WashPost, June 18, 2005), and our blurb discussing the article.

coffee shop . . .
the only empty seat
still warm

… by Randy Brooks – from School’s Out (Press Here, 1999)

Day’s end–
sink faucet dripping
on the coffee dregs

… by Rebecca Lilly, from A New Resonance 2 (2001); orig. pub. Modern Haiku

last night’s bitterness
he adds twice the sugar
to his coffee

fierce wind
street sweeper has
another coffee

… by George Swede – from Almost Unseen (Brooks Books, 2000)

Sunday morning
ants on the rim of my
coffee cup

… by Carolyn Hall – The Heron’s Nest (II:1, Jan. 2000)

farewell dinner–
more hot coffee poured
into what’s left

… by Gary Hotham – Missed Appointment (Lilliput Review, Modest Proposal Chapbooks)

coffee berries
the conversation turns
to another ill friend

.. by Paul m. – called home (Red Moon Press 2006)

talking divorce
he pours his coffee
then mine

…….. by Roberta Beary – The Unworn Necklace (2007)

coffee brewing —
the moon and Orion
light the way

… by Billie Wilson from Haiku Harvest (Spring 2001)

Starbuck’s
a man in cowboy boots
asks for latte

.. by Yu Chang – Upstate Dim Sum (2004/II)

instant coffee
a stirring of leaves
in the courtyard

.. by Andrew Riutta

mom’s genes:
coffee-talk about
arthritis

empty coffee pot
gotta go
gotta go

used book –
someone else’s
coffee stain

July heatwave –
the hardhats grieve
over lukewarm coffee

……………………. by dagosan

. . It’s summer time and parents around the globe keep hearing the same refrain: “I’m bored!” Cranky Prof. Yabut‘s usual reply is “Only boring people get bored,” but he really means “Only boring people stay bored.” If you’d like to have a more constructive response the next time your kids, co-workers, or students complain about being bored, just point them to Tuesday’s New York Times article “You’re Checked Out, but Your Brain Is Tuned In” (New York Times, by Benedict Carey, August 5, 2008). It tells of new conclusions that boredom should be

“recognized as a legitimate human emotion that can be central to learning and creativity.”

The article makes several additional un-boring points:

• Boredom as Spam Filter: When we feel bored, our brain has concluded “there is nothing new or useful it can learn from an environment, a person, an event, a paragraph.” But, “boredom is more than a mere flagging of interest or a precursor to mischief. Some experts say that people tune things out for good reasons, and that over time boredom becomes a tool for sorting information — an increasingly sensitive spam filter.”
• Often Productive and Creative: “In various fields including neuroscience and education, research suggests that falling into a numbed trance allows the brain to recast the outside world in ways that can be productive and creative at least as often as they are disruptive.”

• The 95% Solution: As a constant reaction to one’s environment, boredom seems related to depression, but:

“Boredom as a temporary state . . . is far from a passive neural shrug. Using brain-imaging technology, neuroscientists have found that the brain is highly active when disengaged, consuming only about 5 percent less energy in its resting ‘default state’ than when involved in routine tasks. . .”

Somehow, that slight reduction in brain activity “can make a big difference in terms of time perception. The seconds usually seem to pass more slowly.” Of course, those slower moments don’t produce a meditative calm or bliss. Instead, “They are frustrated, restless moments . . . that demands relief — if not from a catnap or a conversation, then from some mental game.”

A sigh from her
then one from me —
two pages turn

.. by George Swede – Frogpond XX/2

Sad to say, the Times article doesn’t help us figure out how to scratch that boredom itch. We get only a professorial dodge from Dr. Teresa Belton, co-author of the featured study: “When the external and internal conditions are right, boredom offers a person the opportunity for a constructive response.”

NOELs: nod-off episodes per lecture . . . .

Speaking of professors, the classroom experience — from grammar to graduate school — has certainly been the inspiration for a large share of our species’ boredom moments. According to the NYT piece, a Canadian study of doctors attending lectures on dementia “found that in an hour-long lecture attended by about 100 doctors, an average of 16 audience members nodded off. ” The results are, to be honest, rather boring — not exactly a break-through in understanding the dynamics of tuning out:

“The investigators analyzed the presentations themselves and found that a monotonous tone was most strongly associated with ‘nod-off episodes per lecture (NOELs),’ followed by the sight of a tweed jacket on the lecturer.”

When you’re moping around the house and are overwhelmed by the tedium of life, you need to learn to direct your energy into constructive, creative activities — or, to discover the intrinsic meaning of common-place moments. And, if you’re having a serious attack of ennui while part of a captive audience (as in school, church or court, or at a conference or theater), you need to learn techniques for either 1) staying tuned in (in case there’s a test or Judgment later) or 2) appearing engaged and actively listening (out of respect for the speaker or the authority figure who made you attend).

For instance, how do you control the drool-while-napping-reflex or wipe that daydream smile off your face? And, just how much caffeine is needed to overcome a particular professor’s pedantic droning? If all those studies on boredom contain answers, I hope the New York Times will do some follow-up and let us know. Meanwhile, I’m hoping our regular audience — comprised mostly of experienced ex-law students (who somehow survived three very tedious years) and accomplished haiku poets (who live to turn the mundane into insightful moments) will leave helpful suggestions in our Comment box.

By the way, I just learned that the word “ennui” came from a Latin phrase meaning “I hate or dislike,” and which the French turned into a verb meaning “to annoy, bore.” Since those Frenchmen really hate being bored, they’ve probably developed the best antidotes to ennui. French lawyers and haijin are, therefore, particularly urged to add Comments below.

. . . . For relief from boredom now or at a future date, you can always head over to the websites of “Mad” Kane. In a pinch, there’s also the Bored At Work Forum – and its store.

If it’s Opera that puts you to sleep or causes you audience agita, the f/k/a Gang suggests you study Mad Kane’s “Guide for the Opera Impaired,” which just won Recovering Lawyer Kane the First Prize in the 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor Contest.

If like me, you’re already bored with this topic (and your Mama isn’t around to tell you to go outside to play), might I suggest a few topical haiku or senryu?

dozing off–
the soft drone
of mosquito flutter

.. by jim kacian – Chincoteague (Red Moon Press, 2000)

The old wind chimes
in the basement for winter
tinkle from my sigh

as the professor speaks
only his bald spot
is illuminated

.. by George Swede
“the old wind chimes” – The Heron’s Nest
“as the professor speaks” – Almost Unseen

traffic jam
a plastic dog
keeps on nodding

………Yu Chang – Upstate Dim Sum (2002/I)

between layers the stone mason’s nap

.. by w.f. owen – Haiku Notebook (Lulu Press, 2007)

tired of feeding
on the horse
the horsefly naps

misty day–
no doubt Heaven’s saints
bored stiff

under dewy umbrella-hat
nodding off…
the dog barks!

ashamed
napping, hearing
the rice-planting song

……. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David L. Lanoue
– commentary on “misty day”

four glazed eyes —
their first and last
date

… by dagosan

p.s.  The bored young lady at the head of this posting is my lovely niece Lissa (in a photo taken quite a few years ago).  She turned eleven on August 3rd, and her proud uncle wishes her a wonderful new year.

Chimp Abuse? Did you see the op/ed piece by Steve Ross in today’s New York Times, titled “Chimps Aren’t Chumps” (July 21, 2008)? He wants an end to the use of cute chimpanzees on greetings cards and in ads and marketing — such as “the exaggerated grin on the face of a young chimpanzee, often one that’s wearing sunglasses or a grass skirt.” Ross, the supervisor of behavioral and cognitive research at the Lester Fisher Center for the Study and Conservation of Apes at the Lincoln Park Zoo, says of the grinning chimp:

“But this picture, harmless as it might appear, is giving the public the mistaken and even dangerous impression that chimpanzees have a safe and comfortable existence — and nothing could be further from the truth.” And,

“A progressive society should weigh the moral costs and benefits of practices like these. Misrepresentations of chimpanzees may not be as repugnant as racism, bigotry or sexism. But they can still serve as a benchmark for our society’s moral progress.”

“. . . The good news is that a growing number of companies, including Honda, Puma and Subaru, have pledged to stop the use of primates in advertisements.”

Yikes. I’m sorry Dr. Ross, but there are far too many important things to worry about on this planet of ours to fret over “misrepresented” chimpanzees. I can’t take your argument seriously enough to work up a cogent response. (Ditto for the post at Animal Person yesterday “On Speciesism and Animal Actors.”) But, I will say that it has never crossed my mind that pictures of cute pandas, peaceful dolphins or grinning chimpanzees meant their species were all thriving and safe — and I can’t imagine why you’d think [reasonably thoughtful] members of our species would have that illogical reaction.

evening loon call —
nothing makes it
call again

.. by Gary Hotham – from Missed Appointment (Lilliput Review, Modest Proposal Chapbooks 2007)

I’m pleased, however, that Ross’ piece got me to Google my favorite childhood chimp, Cheeta, to see how he’s doing. In 2006, I wished the co-star of a dozen Tarzan movies, and oldest living nonhuman primate, a happy 74th birthday. Today, I want to congratulate Cheeta (that’s him at the head of this paragraph and of this posting) for getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame earlier this month. (See The Mirror.co.uk, August 7, 2008). And, we can celebrate Cheeta’s latest comeback, at 76 — appearing in a new video of the hit country music song “Convoy,” which can be downloaded from iTunes.

window window–
the child pressing against
the rain

flashing ambulance lights–
rain still filling
every puddle

…… by Gary Hotham – Missed Appointment

Greenfield’s Bullish on Tasers: We don’t usually look to criminal lawyer Scott Greenfield of the Simple Justice weblog for investment tips. But, today we find Scott touting Taser International (July 21, 2008).

“As the stories of police using tasers in lieu of thinking become legion, there can be only one smart move: invest. Jonathon Turley posts about the latest taser target: [a blind Ohio woman with cancer)]”

It seems to me, however, that private citizens, not law enforcement, are going to fuel the growth in Taser sales over the next few years — and that scares me more than the continuing Taser abuse by police. Some real stock experts agree (see “Taser misfires but Still Has Potential,” The Street.com, by Tom Au, April 16, 2007):

“Electric stun-gun maker Taser International(TASR – Cramer’s Take – Stockpickr) seems more of a venture capital play than a conventional stock play on the basis of company’s recent earnings and news.”

That’s because:

“Taser is also planning to shift its marketing strategy, following the strong reception its new pocket-sized C2 personal protector received at January’s Consumer Electronics Show and the resulting favorable media coverage. The company now hopes to sell more of its products, including the C2, to individual consumers as well as to members of the ‘self defense’ and private security markets rather than law enforcement agencies.”

. . . “[I]n the wake of its earnings report, the company may appeal more to those of a venture capitalist bent than the private investor, which is why my position is smaller than usual. Taser has a bunch of scientifically innovative products that potentially address a major need: preventing more Virginia Tech (and smaller-scale) shootings. Depending on societal acceptance, the market could be huge.” “

Yes, it’s shocking. One online seller of Tasers declares:

The TASER can be used more effectively and safely with less training than other self-defense technologies.

LEGAL TO CARRY

TASER devices are not considered firearms. They can be legally carried (concealed or open) without permit required in 43 states.

Indeed, “The TASER X26C series [available for $999.99] offers the highest take-down power available. With advanced new Shaped Pulse technology, the TASER X26C provides Electro-Muscular Disruption (EMD) technology which . . . debilitates the toughest targets, without causing injury or lasting after-effects.” Still not convinced Taser is for you and those you love? Remember:

“TASER technology has been available to citizens concerned with self-defense for over a decade. Unlike conventional weapons, TASER is effective with a hit anywhere on the body. To be effective for self-defense, bullets risk more lethal consequences, striking the head or vital organs. Similarly, chemical or pepper sprays must hit an assailant in the face � a much less reliable alternative in fast moving confrontations. And, in a windy environment, sprays can be blown back onto the user.”

For now, I’m glad to be living in New York, as “TASER is not available for private citizen defense in DC, HI, MA, MI, NJ, NY, RI, & WI.” But, recent Supreme Court action on the 2nd Amendment suggests they’ll soon be available legally everywhere. So, as Scott says: “there can be only one smart move: invest [in Taser]” — and never leave home.

Enough monkey business ’round here. How about a few more selections from Missed Appointment by Gary Hotham?

snow covering things
we see every day —
the fortune left in the cookie

farewell dinner–
more hot coffee poured
into what’s left

long after sunset–
darkness not stopping the odor
of fallen leaves

…… by Gary Hotham – Missed Appointment (Lilliput Review, Modest Proposal Chapbooks 2007)