f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

November 9, 2004

TISK! pt. 2

Filed under: — David Giacalone @ 12:57 am


The Inadvertent Searchee (and the Katydid)!
night in the hut
searching on the shelf
. . . katydid

I admit it: I have not been cured of my Referer Madness.   Instead, I’m turning the obsession into this frequently-updated Feature.  Below, then, you will find results of my backtracking from the f/k/a Referer List to search-engine queries that ping this website.  TISK! pt. 1 can be found here.

Either as f/k/a or ethicalEsq, this weblog shows up remarkably often at or near the top of the results of search-engine queries.  Here are some instances that I found interesting, odd, or otherwise worthy of comment — usually because they were so inadvertent, or because they demonstrate how a little weblog (without using any “search engine optimization” tricks) can get its perspective, pet peeves and crusades in a position to be read by enquiring minds across the planet.

June 26, 2005
Someone queried  <wife+rump> at Google, and we came in at #6 out of
148,000 results (an odd collection, indeed).  Here’s the senryu that triggered
the result:

family picnic
the new wife’s rump
bigger than mine

                                           Roberta Beary 
                                              favorite senryu award, modern haiku 34-3

June 23, 2005
<hots moms>  I don’t know what the querist in Quebec had in mind, but we came in #3 out
of almost 33,000 Google results, when our May 3, 2005 homepage featured posts on “red hots”
(from a baseball-haiku reminiscence by Ed Markowski) and on an FTC e-card for moms.
<“terrible two’s”>  Our second anniversary post — we enter our terrible two’s — put us in the 8th slot out of 11,400 in this Google search.  I’m happy we didn’t mention hot moms or spanking.
<acronymically>  Someone in Utah was looking up this word, and the first two Google results (out of 904) was our post acronymically challenged, in which we pondered why the U.S. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services had the acronym “CMS.”   Anyone find a misplaced “em”?
June 17, 2005
<decapitated tulips>  #1 & 2 out of 1,160 in this Google Search due to one of

come on,
you’ve got to see the . . .
!!! decapitated tulips !!!
                                       [May 21, 2005]
June 16, 2005
<ky kite flying sites> #11 of 53,000 results in this search.  We didn’t exactly tell the
Kentucky Attorney Advertising Committee to go fly a kite, but a poem by Issa on the same home page linked our Are Weblogs Advertising? post with a pleasant form of recreation requiring a breeze and a lot of string.
June 11, 2005
<catholic libertarian> Although your Editor is neither, we got the #1 result out of 337,000
in this Google search after our mugging Professor Grace.
May 12, 2005
< haiku writings about baseball>  We garnered the first two results, out of 5500, in this Google Search, but the link wasn’t even to our new all-star Baseball Haiku Page.
<lawyers +”value pricing”>  The first two results out of 18,100 in this Google Search were for our website.  See: LexThink about higher fees (er, value billing)  I hope the arrivals were looking for the ethicalEsq perspective — or, were willing to become Inadvertent Converts.
  • Ditto goes for our #3 ranking, out of 776,00, for the Google query <pricing sensitivity>.
May 11, 2005
<meaning of word blog>  #2 of 6 million plus in a Google Search, thanks to our lament on that ugly little word.
<connection between cherries and stomache ache>  Someone Asked Jeeeves, and the #1 result was our discussion of the cherry-cordial-liquor defense.  Hey, we don’t play doctor at f/k/a.
May 9, 2005
<standard contingency fee>  #1 & #2 results out of over One Million in this Google Search was our April 1, 2005 tour de forceATLA Condemns Standard Contingency Fees”  [fyi: #3 is your Editor’s Open Letter to HALT; #4 is your Editor’s prairielaw column on contingency fees — these results alone make all the aggravation from writing about the issue worthwhile.]
May 5, 2005
<“cafeteria Catholic”> #4 out of 33,440 results in this Google search was our post on the day Pope John Paul II was buried: today, everyone’s a cafeteria catholic — a picky papist . I wonder what they call a former altar boy who decided to skip the cafeteria and eat down the street?
May 3, 2005
<new pope “life expectancy“> #1 of 70,700 results in a Google search, as we wrote on the new pope’s life expectancy.
April 30, 2005
<help me, lord>  there are 17,000 results for this Google query, and some would be surprised that f/k/a’s post with that name came in #13 (just ahead of George Harrison’s well known lyrics).  Mama G, there might be hope for your little boy yet.
<democratic morality> #3 result out of more than 1.47 million in a Google Search — due
<advantages of caste system>  #3 of 217,000 in this Google search for podriahs — blissfully outside the pod-caste system.  Put this one firmly in the Inadvertent Category.
April 28, 2005
More Referer MadnessMore curious search engine results from my Referer Page (or, is there a pattern here?):

<curmudgeons> f/k/a is #1 in this Yahoo search, out of 91,000 results, due to our post Making the World Safe for Curmudgeons  (Oct. 8, 2003)
<Ayatollah Khomeini Salmon Rushdie fatwah> we’re #2 in a Google search, thanks to our ringing defense of Yusuf Islam, f/k/a Cat Stevens.
<lawyers day>  #1 of 35.5 million results in a Yahoo search, because we wrote about Law Day, Not Lawyers’ Day
<Ron Baker value pricing>  our expose ron baker & price sensitivity placed us #1 of 35,000 results in this Google Search.
April 26, 2005
<national hair stylist appreciation day 2005> — coming in #1 and #2 of 1540 results in a Yahoo Search, thanks to our post about unappreciated lawyers. 
<self-aggrandize> — coming in #1 of 29,800 results in a Yahoo Search, due to our discussion of the disbarment of Jonathan A. Weinstein. 
April 24, 2005
Fun Fact:  If you Google <einstein plaids and stripesour post from last Sunday is the #2 result (even though the famous quote also appeared in an AP story that ran in Sunday newspapers nationwide).   If you like Albert’s fashion statement as much as I do, you can find it on t-shirts, tote bags, mugs, etc., here.
April 27, 2005
Weblog Exposure:  A check on my Referer Page suggests one possible benefit of Comment

Spam — it can attract first-time visitors and give you a chance to keep them coming.  Example:
someone queried Yahoo for <kelly clarkson swimsuit pictures> and comment spam gave f/k/a the #5 result out of 2430.  [readers of this weblog know we are not likely to have a pix of Kelly displayed here; click here for a mug shot)
April 21, 2005
<the word ‘blog’ is short for>  #4 of 5,310,000 in Google Search, landing on our the wordblog” (our Language Legacy)
April 18, 2005
<“lawyer’s” “Fiduciary responsibility”> #1 and 2 of 608 in Google Search the lawyer’s fiduciary obligations to disclose.
April 7 to 14, 20005
Lucky No. 4:
<how does George Globe light his grill>  #4 of over 69,000 in a Yahoo search. Just who is George Globe?  Maybe I should as Mr. Google.
<cafeteria Catholic>  #4 of 209,000 in a Google search
<Debt Reduction horror stories>  #4 of 592,000 in Google Search, linking to our
coverage of the Capoccia Scandals.
<shaming>  Our e-shaming piece yielded result #4 of 229,000 in a Google search
April 6, 2005
<should f/k/a be on letterhead> #1 in Google Search out of 158 results thanks to a whacky posting that just happened to use the word letterhead and should.
April 3, 2005
<acronymically> #1 and 2 out of 668 in Google Search from New Zealand because we mused over the acronymically challenged
March 29, 2005
<farting contest> #2 out of 7,050 in a Google search — Master Issa’s haiku put us in this batch of results. 
March 24, 2005
<how to spin tires> Prof. Yabut may not be the go-to guy for auto maintenance, but one of haikuEsq’s haiku placed us at #5 of 428,000 results in this Google search

the hush of Sunday morning
under new snow —
tires spin and spin
                             [Jan. 30, 2005]

March 23, 2005
<mad about saffron>  Sorry, Donovan, but our post on The Gates fetched the #1 and #2 results out of 246,000 in a Google Search for this phrase. 
March 22, 2005
<they seek him here they seek him there>  #3 of 5,410,000 results in Google Search
for this post, which talked about haiku poet-weblogger Brett Wooldridge and his favorite movie, “Scarlet Pimpernel.”
<Arizona Bar ethics rule amendment replacing the word zealously>  #1 in Google search but, not for my serious discussion of the topic, which was here, but for the following treatment:
Driving back home from Western New York this afternoon, I suddenly realized that
I had forgotten a very important meaning for the word “honorably” when I made my
posting on Sunday about the Arizona Supreme Court decision to replace the word
“zealously” with “honorably” in the Rules of Professional Conduct.  Just by chance, I
was listening to the audiobook by Bill Bonanno entitled Bound by Honor: A Mafioso’s : A Mafioso’s
Story. (1999, Simon & Schuster Audio Div.)  In the book, Mr. Bonanno (son of the
legendary godfather Joe “Bananas” Bonanno) stresses his own connections and life
in Arizona, and Mob influence in the State, while describing what it means to be a
man of honor.”   With my own Sicilian ancestry, I shouldn’t have overlooked this
special meaning of honor — giving due respect to people of authority and power, while
brooking no disrespect to yourself (and seeking revenge when necessary).  We definitely
need to consider this special definition, when assessing the possible ramifications of
Arizona’s one-word amendment to the Rules of Conduct.  Thank goodness, I pulled that
cassette case off the Library shelf before taking my two-day vacation.  Serendipity Rules!

Feb. 12 2005
<Cherry Cordials> result #1 out of 561 pages of results in an AOL search, due to our coverage of a court accepting a “cherry cordial” defense after a woman failed a breathylizer test. 
Jan. 23, 2005
<Fee Fie Foe Fum I smell the blood of an Englishman> #1 and #2 of 35 in a Google Search. We weren’t focused on Jack’s Beanstalk as much as on the profession fiddling around over the fees it charges.  One thing for sure: putting a phrase in your headline/title pumps up your Google positioning.
Jan 18, 2005
<making love underwater> #21 of 523,000 in Google Search.  All I said was “swimming underwater sounds good to me.”   Kobayashi Issa provided this haiku:
wild cat —
after making love
he’s the town pet
Jan. 17, 2005
<a grand farting contest poem> #6 and #7 of 5620 in Google search. Don’t blame me; one again, it’s that Issa dude — check the Sidebar.
Jan. 15, 2005
<naked cheerleaders morrow county> #15 of 227 in msn search  Hey, not fair.  A collection of innocent words on a very long Home Page produced this dubious status:
Congratulations to the residents of Morrow County, Ohio, who have just
hired … every star the naked eye … skirts, I have little use for cheerleaders.

Jan 5, 2005
<O’pshaw> #1 and #2 in of 171 in a Google search, thanks to our headline introduction to George Bernard Shaw quotes on politics. 
<meritocracy over seniority> We don’t often touch on labor issues, but we came in #3 of 845 in this Google search because of our post on seniority as the selection criterion for filling positions at Schenectady’s Police Department.

Dec 31, 2004
Maybe they’ll learn something inadvertantly:
 <Ironic vs coincidentalf/k/a was the #1 result in this Google Search.   This is one of my pet peeves, so the position is pleasing. 
<lawyer attorney discipline excessive>  #2 of 10,950 in msn search thanks to  Sustained Objection: Lawyer discipline still inadequate
<hot cocoa poem>  #3 of 7874 in Google search.  See this post
December 14, 2004

Some things need no commentary:
<cow talk> f/k/a #1 and #2 of 2,250,000 in Google Search
<Faith based law schools> #2 and #3 of 2,630,000 [right behind Mirror of Justice
<oh beautiful angel, shakespeare> #2 of 66,800 in Google Search
<brand personality of hershey chocolates> #8 of 16,800 in Google Seach

<“yabut generation”> #1 through 11 of eleven in Google Search [!!]

<unethical facts of tea#4 of 19,1000 results in Yahoo! Search  [say what??]
<last posting for this blog> #10 of 2,350,000 inYahoo! Search
<boston parking meters 11/26/04>  #1 of 3750 im msn Search
<dodgeball and law> #3 of 171,000 in Google Search
<won’t stop mentioning prior relationships> #1 of 22,000 in Google Search
<amputee+happy>  #72 of 73,000 in Google (Germany) Search

Nov. 18, 2004

<libertarian gossip> #3 of 41,200 in Google search – mixing haiku and politics
<poets make bad husbands> #4 of 194,000 in Google search – join the club
<LSD in charlotte, north carolina> #4 in BellSouth/Google search — “lawyer deprivation syndrome” for us, not the drug
<Lauren Hutton aarp picture> #1 of 62 in Yahoo! Search – showing my age, not hers
<gender neutral poetry> #8 of 69,000 in Google search
<how much money in sport and grill bar> #1 of 85,600 in Yahoo! Search.  Huh?
But, seriously:

<exurbs white flight> #2 of 532 in Google Search – one post about Brown v. Bd.of Ed.
<exit polling solutions>  #1 of 50,600 in Google search – awfully high.
<lawyer unhappiness>   #11 of 79,000 in Google search – would have expected to at the top.
<pro se cases> #3 and 4 of 3,850,000 in Google Search   #1 and 2 were uscourts.gov sites
<task billing lawyer> #2 of 66,000 in Yahoo! Search – nice result, boring topic.
Nov. 15, 2004
Denise is right, inadvertant searchee status can create some great serendipity:
  • — we were only #15 (due to jim kacian) when a querist looked for <toothache topical  formulation in japan>, but now we know where to go to for an achy molar and how to find the Legal status of selected ingredients worldwide.
  • — <cow talk> brought us the #1 and #2 results of 1,8500,000 in a Google Search, but with a little more searching, we found the neato 6-minute movie Cow Talk (2000), in which ” a vegetarian anti-meat activist talks to cows, telling them her plan to keep them from being eaten.” PLUS, the Happy D Ranch worm farm, where you can get about 2000 “hungry redworms” for $40.
  • — we were, however, too chicken to follow up on our #1 Google spot for <“illegal to show sexually explicit movies in vehicles”>, or our lucky #7 in the voila.com (Fr.) search for <pre-teen models>.
Oct. 27 through
Nov. 9, 2004

Number 1 (and proud of it — even when a little surprised)

<getting goosed>  #1 and #2 of 10,900 in Google Search.  I brought this on myself with the post entitled getting goosed to the polls.

<poems about the devil (ABA)>  #1 of 1120 in MySearch.  Do you think “ABA” is a rhyme scheme, the former Basketball league, or our little Bar Association?   We came up due to a posting a poem:  ABA Journal Takes Note of UK Bar Reforms and Issa’s

fires on the mountain –

look like Buddha

look like devil

<giacalone soccer>  #1 of 576  in Google Search.  Coming from a household with no notable athletes, I had to check this out further.  Alan Giacalone is a good running back; Melissa and Amanda are soccer wizzes; James Giacalone III, 18, of Afton, NY, might be athletic, too — he tried to escape from jail (drug charge), scaling a fence topped with razor wire, but was captured a few minutes later, bleeding from wounds that required 54 stitches to close.  The nice judge is going to recommend a special parole supervision program after James finishes his new sentence.   

<haiku eclipse> #1 of 421 in msn search.  Nice

<Shakespeare and lawyers> #1 of 99,500 in Google Search — we worked for this one: Shakespeare and Lawyers.

<reading scores of the catholic middle school in new york>  #1 of 123,000 in Yahoo! search.  I don’t make these up. 

Two ain’t bad
<catholic libertarian> #2 of 83, 2000 in Google Search — our mugging Prof. Grace was right behind the RiskProf, who we goaded into broaching the topic.
<seat-belt poems>  #2 and #3 of 48,000 in Google Search (with a preschool safety webpage edging us out!).  See seat-belt solace.

<“value billing“>  #2 of 1500 in Yahoo! Search — with a message that deserves an audience.

Number Three came up several times over the last fortnight of Referer Madness:
<associate duty candor tribunal>  #3 result of 1700 in a Google Search.  My belief that discipline was appropriate for the silent associate, who failed to correct the misleading statement of his lead attorney at an ex parte hearing, put me at odds with a number of Commentors, including the lawyer in question.

<southwest airlines workplace stress>  Our positive response to the idea of a law firm being run like Southwest Airlines garnered some interesting reactions, but a #3 result out of 10,000 in this Google Search is surprising, given our low profile in the office management and human resources fields.
<swing state synonyms>  We did a lot of complaining over the media’s failure to use synonyms to describe the election campaign strategies and tactics.  A #3 result is gratifying in this Google search, which had 5,300 results. The first two results listed a computing dictionary that merely states that it has no entry for “swing state.”
<What is being a lawyer entail??>    We also turned up as the third result out of 98,000 Google replies, for this rather awkwardly-worded query from a prospective lawyer (or her unschooled parent); thanks to our harping on the special obligations entailed in practicing law.  The number one result came from our friend Prof. Jim Elkins, who teaches legal studies at W.V.U. law school, for his piece called Working With Stories.
Pot Pouri (without the icky smell)

<walter olson disagree> #11 of 6,600 in Google Search.  Who do you think wanted to know?  See Sue-Dough-Logic.

<a note to my fellow democrats>  4 of 198,000 in Google Search.  A lot of people have been giving the Dems advice since the Election, so I sure can’t complain (about the Google result, not the Election Result).  may I speak frankly about my fellow Democrats?

<Ideas for turning a pumpkin into Christopher Columbus>  #12 of 221,00 in Yahoo! Search.  You know, once the query was conceived, I would have thought we’d be even higher.

<future known as f/k/a>  #7 of about 7000.  Are you trying to confuse me?
<exit strategy iraq powell> #9 of 31,700 in Google search.  Weblogs rock the Google algorithm. [No one has pointed out yet that the prediction in The Sovereignty Promise as Exit Strategy/Excuse was — um — not totally accurate.]
<the scarecrow is president> #4 of 44,800 in Google Seach.  Haiku and politics are a dangerous weblog mix.
<print friendly>  #41 of 10,900,000 in Google Search.  Wow.  I would have guessed 1 or 2 million, at best.  The first result for this rather ubiquitous phrase is a U.Va. webpage that says “The web page you selected is not available in print friendly format.”  [I almost used an emoticon here.]

TISK! pt. 1, with lots more Inadvertent Searchee results, can be found here.
using his nose
the dog searches
the violets
Search haiku from Kobayashi Issa,
translated by David G. Lanoue  

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