f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

July 6, 2005

TISK! pt. 3

Filed under: — David Giacalone @ 2:54 pm


The Inadvertent Searchee (and the Katydid)!




night in the hut
searching on the shelf
. . . katydid


TISK! pt. 1 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 2 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 4 can be found here.


Either as f/k/a or ethicalEsq, this weblog shows up remarkably often at or near the top of the results of search-engine queries.  Here are some instances that I found interesting, odd, or otherwise worthy of comment — usually because they were so inadvertent, or because they demonstrate how a little weblog (with a few links from its friends, but without using “search engine optimization” tricks) can get its perspective, pet peeves and crusades in a position to be read by enquiring minds across the planet.




Dec. 20, 2005

Someone Googled <timeline of Santa Claus> tonight and our post on

st. nicholas v. santa claus was the 2nd result.  That’s not so bad for a

grinchy little weblog that would like a less-commericalized Christmas.

Nov. 30, 2005

<how to make a two year old behave> Yahoo!’s Search engine made one of our posts

the #2 result for the query  Our post celebrated the 2nd anniversary of Prof. Bainbridge’s

weblog.   Although we always love such unexpected referrals, this is a sad commentary

on the state of child care instruction on the internet, and/or on search engine accuracy.  

You see, although our post did indeed have information on how to make a two-year-old

behave, not one of the other 9 results in the top 10 was even vaguely about that issue. 

(I didn’t look any deeper on the list.)  For example, #1 concerned Year 2000 computer

problems; #3 was about selling burgers, and #4 about two-year colleges.


Nov. 28, 2005

<man wink> #1 result, out of  5,660,000, in this Yahoo! Search (from

Slovenia),was the post the old man’s wink (which was written right

after the Raich decision, and points those interested in abuse of

federal power and marijuana to the 1999 flick “Dick,” with the 17-

year-old Kirsten Dunst playing one of a pair of innocent high schoolers

who befriend the Trickster, Pres. Richard Nixon.  The post included

this senryu by Randy Brooks:


bingo boards empty–

    another widow intercepts

    the old man’s wink 

                                                 Randy Brooks  from School’s Out (Press Here, 1999)


<blind date boomers>  The first two results in this Yahoo! Search (out of

190,000 returns), went to our post entitled baby boomers’ blind date, which

had several apt poems by John Stevenson, plus this one from dagosan:


blind date 

blossoms past their peak   


was the first result out of 4.6 million, in this Google Search. It was written the night

after the 2004 Presidential election.


Nov. 27, 2005

<how to remove gas pain?>  Somebody with post-Thanksgiving indigestion had

this query for Yahoo! Search.   Of the 3 million results, the first two were for the

f/k/a post “gas pain?”   Sadly, they won’t get much relief there, unless they’re

worried about high gas prices or getting better mileage. 



Oct. 9, 2005

<welched> Our post “getting welched,” which had a few haiku by Honored

Guest Michael Dylan Welch and a blurb on etymology and political correctness,

was the #1 result out of 17,900 in this Yahoo! Search.  Here’s one of Michael’s

poems (click to see the related photo-oem):


leaves rustle neg


a table for one–

leaves rustle

in the inner courtyard


          Michael Dylan Welch from open window,

                an online collection of photo-poems    


Oct. 8, 2005

different things at f/k/a, but not the answer to this question, despite finding us

in the #2 spot, out of 16 million results, in this Google Search.


Oct. 4, 2005

<jobs  skills  needed  to  be  a  wrestler>  The Yahoo Search engine choose our

post Career Advice: Be Hands-On Problem Solvers (about the New Job Market

created by computers and the internet) as the #1 and #2 results, out of 79,000, f

or this query.  Naturally, it was a haiku about a sumo wrestler that created the




Oct. 1, 2005

<empty cookie tins>  We don’t usually bother mentioning 5th place results in Google

Searches.  But, this one was kind of cool, and links to a dagosan senryu, in a post

about the Texas Cookie Monster and the neighborly teens:

empty cookie tin —

the hermit

heads to bed


Sept. 29, 2005

<everything is eliminated movie>  #1 of 1,390,000 results in this Google query was our post

“everything was eliminated” about the movie Everything Is Illuminated.  I don’t understand how

the movie review captioned “The Novel had depth, but bverything is elminated” from the New

York Daily News, which I link to in my post comes in #2, and my post #1.  Weird algorythms,



September 13, 2005

<Is paying tickets online unconstitutional> #1 result out of 226,000 for this (very strange) Google

query was a combination of two posts — Mass. Advocates Seek Fair Funding and Fees (which

used the word “unconstitutional”) and A Better Fix Than ParkingTicket.com? about an online

parking ticket fixing service. 


Sept. 10, 2005

<issa blind date>  I’m not sure that our beloved Kobayashi Issa ever wrote a

haiku about a blind date, but dagosan did, and it garnered the #1 spot, out of

51,000 results in a Google Search.  Our post a Google blind date was the 2nd

result.   As soon as David Lanoue’s Issa Website is back online — it’s on the

Xavier University webserver in New Orleans — I shall search “blind date” and

check it out.  Meanwhile, f/k/a misses our frequent Issa-fixes compliments of

Prof. Lanoue.


<catholic common law marriage> A post about Judge Roberts’ Catholicism landed

us the #2 result, out of about 3.5 million, in the Google Search.   This is one of

those queries that makes me wonder just what the searcher was seeking.  The #1

result is an excerpt by Ammon Hennacy, from his Book of Ammon, in which he

mentions once seeking annulment by the church of his common law marriage. 

Hennacy was an anarchist and self-proclaimed radical follower of Christ, and the

Chapter, “On Leaving the Catholic Church” is quite interesting.


<good doggy> Due to its headline — good doggy: pit bull good for business — one of

our posts about the Florida Bar’s battle against the 1-800-PIT BULL marketing program

is the #2 result out of 1.9 million in this Google query.  Very good doggy. 


Sept. 9, 2005

<closed eyelids>  This haiku by dagosan on Sept. 1st landed us in the #1 spot, out

of 1.9 million Google Search results:

green lawn under blue sky —

behind closed eyelids

a blood-red ocean



Sept. 8, 2005

<Shakespeare about Lawyers> We worked hard for our #2 position, out of 1,460,000

results in this Yahoo! Search.  What’s more interesting is the #1 result — it is the

instruction sheet for the law school course “Shakespeare for Lawyers,” from Prof.

Sodeman at the University of Toledo Law School.   Here’s the meat of the sheet,

which raises a number of issues (which I shall leave for our readers to spot); the

emphasis was in the original:

“As you read watch for three things. First, is there law in the text.

Shakespeare wrote at the time when Lord Coke was codifying English

Common Law. Shakespeare was legally adept. Second look for quotable

Shakespeare. He was adept with words as well. Adept does not do it justice.

He had genius which many wise attorneys have borrowed. Third, ask how

the play explains our [legal] world in 2004. Four hundred years after they

were written the plays still seem timeless explanations of the human condition.


“The grading! Half of the grade will be based on participation in class. It is,

after all, a theater arts class. Participation is defined here as response when

called on. Some folks are naturally outgoing and talk a lot. Others, like Justice

Thomas, do not ask many questions. Comments and discussion are always

welcome but to keep a level playing field I will base my grading on response to

my prompting. Everyone will be called on to respond. The other half of the grade

will be based on the exam. It will not be take home. There will be one essay

question. One hour will be allowed. The answer is limited to two sheets each

with 28 lines (answer sheets will be provided). You will need your copies of the

plays covered, a pen (black or blue ink) and class notes are permitted.

(ed. note: “two sheets each with 28 lines”?!)




<“emphasis added” +judge>  We had the #1 and #2 results out of 1.9 million in this Google

search.  It’s difficult to understand how we snuck in ahead of the BigBlawgers — perhaps

September 7, 2005

<teach humility>  There were more than 2.5 million result to this Yahoo! Search query,

and our post They Don’t Teach Humility in Law School was #1.  Keeps us humble.

Sept. 3, 2005

<happiest lawyers> The #1 result out of 150,000 in this Google Search was our post Globe Probe of Lawyer Angst (August 18, 2003).  We were recently the #4 result for “unhappy lawyers.”  Draw

your own conclusions.



<‘ceiling fan’ turns on “by itself”>  This #1 result (out of 512) in a Google Search is surely “inadvertent.”  It is thanks to this haiku from Michael Dylan Welch:  

chess men in boxes . . .

the cafe’s ceiling fan

turns by itself


<Antitrust law protects competition not competitors> One of our posts on antitrust and the boycotts by Massachusetts’ bar advocates, was the 3rd result in the Google search, behind two from the Antitrust Division of the U.S. Department of Justice. Our friends at the American Antitrust Institute did not show up until #41.  Another amazing search engine result for a tiny (but, apparently well-connected — thank you) weblog. 



Sept. 2, 2005

<effect of speed on gas mileage>   This is an important topic is a little bit off-topic for f/k/a, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that one of our two discussions of it was in the 4th slot out of 480,000 in this Yahoo! Search.  By the way, as we stated in a post on June 14, 2005, “driving at 10 miles an hour above the 65 miles-per-hour limit increases fuel consumption by 15 percent.” (See NYT, “Unmentioned Energy Fix: A 55 M.P.H. Speed Limit,” May 1, 2005)  


August 26, 2005

<“lawyer appreciation“>  Just don’t know why, but there were only 119 results for this Google search.  We’re pleased to say that the first result was our post describing an unsuccessful search for holidays and events that honor lawyers, and the second result was this post, wherein skepticalEsq was a bit credulous about a “grassroots” rally in support of plaintiffs’ lawyers in Madison County, Illinois.


<typical diet of a sumo wrestler>  We inadvertently garnered the #2 slot in this Google search — out of nearly 6000 results — thanks to a post about the “typical diet” of billable hours for young associates and an Issa poem mentioning a sumo wrestler.   Our link was sandwiched in between a USAToday article about the health woes of retired, less-active sumo wrestlers (e.g., Haiwaiian-born sumo legend Konishiki used to wrestle at 665 pounds, but now wants to get down to 400 pounds), and a more

scholarly piece that mentions retired sumo wrestlers and the fight to control diabetes — as “an example of fit and fat becomes fat and sick”.


<judge urinate nyc>  Our discussion of potty parity laws in the Big Apple scored the #1 spot, out of 25,000 results, in this Google search.


Aug. 20, 2005

<summer tan lines> #10 out of 886,000 Google search results was a little post featuring a number of haiku by Alice Frampton, including this one:

late summer?
baring the tan line
on my wrist

The other results on the first page suggest that some people take tan lines VERY seriously (e.g., the folks at Bikini Science).

Aug. 19, 2005

<perception of expertise> #1 of over 3.5 million results in this Yahoo! Search was Selling the Perception of Expertise, in which I continued my debate with Kevin O’Keefe over the “turnkey”

weblog services offered by his company lexBlog Inc

August 11, 2005

<armenian appreciation day>  We garnered the #1 result out of 55,000 from this Google query, with our post the doogle made me do it, which explained that there is no Lawyer Appreciation Day, despite many other groups being so honored.  April 3rd honors Armenians.  Another query today for <Trail Mix Day, August 31st>, pointed to the same post as the 6th result out of 44,900.


<ipod caste> This Google search gave our post podriahs — blissfully outside the pod-caste system the #2 slot out of 9150 results.  With the internet, a bad pun is forever. 


<take one-third>  Our post It’s Not Unusual (to take one-third) — about the standard contingency fee, of course — was the second result out of 207 million in the Yahoo! Search.  The #1 result was an arithmetic lesson.


August 10, 2005


<+”new jersey” +soup slurping>  #1 out of 856 results in this Google search was the May 4, 2005 dual posting of omertaEsq? gagged in new jersey (about N.J. lawyer disciplinary procedural rule 1:20 – 9(a), which has been interpreted to bar anyone filing a complaint against a lawyer from making the complaint public) and cuatro de mayo – soups and sticks (about Mexican Menudo soup), which included this haiku from Kobayashi Issa:

plum blossom scent–
slurping it in
with the vegetable soup 


             translated by David.G. Lanoue



<cynical about lawyers> #4 out of more than one million results in this Yahoo! Search was our post The Lowered Expectation Game — Lawyers as Tin Men.  We’ve got to try harder next time!


Aug. 9, 2005

<[males OR guys OR boys OR men] +”don’t wear outfits”> #1 of 321 in this Google search, pointing to our males don’t wear “outfits” post, which quotes Silvano Iurata, the main character in Norman Green’s novel, The Angel of Montague Street.   Yet another Yabut pet peeve gets excellent search engine positioning.

Aug. 8, 2005

<“Frank H. Easterbrook” +juries>  #1 of 240 results in this Google query is our Frank Easterbrook calls juries “twelve high school dropouts” (Aug. 1, 2005), commemorating Judge E’s testimony on July 28 before the Antitrust Modernization Commission.  The same post is the 5th result out of 631, when the query is changed to <Frank H. Easterbrook” +jury>.  Change the search to <“Frank H. Easterbrook” +Hottie> and it comes in third of 21 (after two listings from Under Their Robes, which originally nominated Easterbrook as a “Hottie Bear”).  And, the pesky post even shows up #25 of over 7500 results, when querying the name <“Frank H. Easterbrook”> and 8th of 77,000 results when the search is <frank easterbrook>.


July 25, 2005

<gorgeous lawyers>  First result out of 373,000 in this Yahoo! Search, is a post wherein your Editor reminisced about a broken heart in Nevada.

July 23, 2004

<weblog culture>  #1 of 5,530,000 results in this Google search pointing to our index page of postings on Weblog Culture and ethics.  This page rank is a very pleasant surprise.



July 21, 2005


<Fie Foe and Fum> #2 of 11,800 results in this Google search, which found

Giacalone preaching about lawyer fees, rather than Jack in the Beanstalk threatening



<wakefield’s knuckleball> #4 out of 789 in this Google Search, zooming in on

this post – welcoming the DC Nats – and Paul David Mena’s haiku:

April chill —

Wakefield’s knuckleball


July 20, 2005


<socialist thirty heart brain>  result #2 of 237,000 in this Google search –


<Purpose of antitrust>  #3 of 689,000 in this Google query, which found our

attempted to explain the role of antitrust to bar advocates hoping for a special

exemption.   (Hey, Bert, The American Antitrust Institute came in 9th.)


<sitting on our hands> #1 and #2 of 7,770,000 results in this Google query for

our post promising a July hiatus from punditry.


<ron baker change order>  #1 of 849,000 results in this Google search, for

ron baker & price sensitivity . We may be the lone voice in the wilderness

against a tidal wave of “value billing” bilge, but Mr. Google gives f/k/a a very nice



July 19, 2005

<faith based law schools> #2 out of over 7 million results in this Google search was our

essay in re Religious Law Schools (Nov. 24, 2004).  [#1 was the St. Thomas U. Law School

in Minneapolis.]  Doubting David has his say. 

July 12, 2005

<inspirational reading appropriate for ashes scattering at sea>  We wouldn’t ordinarily

point out a Google query that lands us the #31 and #32 results (out of 49,700).  But, you’ve

got to admit this link to jim kacian’s haiku primer is rather inadvertent. Or, is it?


July 11, 2005

<reversing bad karma> We scored the #1 result out of 11,900 in this Google search,  

with Brown: Good Decision Meets Bad Karma, where I discuss racism and White Flight. 

and mention an article “Reversing White Flight.”  I have a feeling this search result is about

as inadvertent as it gets.


July 9, 2005

<  ex with animals> #2 result out of 3,850,000 in this Google search, which seems to be missing

an “s”. See saving snowmen (and ex parte animales).  Typos can make for entertaining resutls.

July 8, 2005

<nicknames lawyer>  #1 of 96,100 results in this Google Search. In SCotching lawyer nicknames,

we had thumbs down on a South Carolina law banning the use of lawyer nicknames.


<musical noodling definition> #2 of 4,920 Google results, due to noodling lawfully, which

is about Georgia’s legalization of “noodling” — catching catfish with barehands (not, bare heads).


July 6, 2005

<e-ubiquitous>  There were only 6 Yahoo! search results for this query, with

#4 and #5 going to f/k/a. See What kind of Blogger are you?


<very long restroom line>  The 4th result out of 293,000 in the Google search

was our piece on Potty Parity in NYC.  What’s interesting, though, is this excerpt

doesn’t relate to women waiting in long lines, but deals with my new crusade for

Prostate Equity.

Prostate Equity?  Since we’re now going to judge potty parity by how long
members of a gender can take to use a restroom, let’s consider the rapid aging of

America and the medical condition BPH — benign prostatic hyperplasia (benign

enlargement of the prostate, a gland only present in men).  . . . .


Trust me on this, BPH already means that a lot of guys take a very long time in

restrooms, merely to urinate.  This problem is going to get a lot more severe

very soon.  So, Ms. Clarke and Prof. Rawls, what are you going to do about it?

And, don’t get me started on older men and constipation.


July 4, 2005

<definition of Fiduciary Obligations> #2 of 211,000.  This is one that makes the

advocate in me very happy.  see the lawyer’s fiduciary duty to disclose

July 3, 2005

<lawyers day> #1 and #2 out of 12.5 million results in this Google search

see Law Day, Not Lawyers’ Day More ammunition for lawyer-haters, more

inspiration for lawyers who want to earn a better reputation.


<they seek him here, they seek him there the frenchies seek him everywhere>

#3 of 4,030 in this Google Search for our post they seek him there, which mentioned

the Wanton Tree weblog and its editor Todd Wooldridge and took off on a tangent about

one of his favorite movies, “The Scarlet Pimpernel” , which includes

The Scarlet Pimpernel, by Sir Percy Blakeney, Bart.

They seek him here, they seek him there,
those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel.”


<money mob> #1 out of 1,890,000 results for this Google query, which found

The Musty Money Mob — Skoog v. Casadei (Dec. 12, 2004), a strange tale, and

great issue-spotting test, out of Schenectady, NY. 



<potty parity> #2 of 3,540 in the Google Search for this current and pesky subject.

See our potty parity in NYC.  I’m not sure I wanted to be so exposed on this issue! 

July 2, 2005

<restroom equity> #1 & #2 results out of 47,600 in this Google Search, which

targeted let’s talk about restroom equity.   Ditto. 

using his nose
the dog searches
the violets


Search haiku from Kobayashi Issa,

translated by David G. Lanoue  

For much more TISKing:

TISK! pt. 1 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 2 can be found here. 

TISK! pt. 4 can be found here.

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