How to deal with someone with low emotional intelligence

Years ago, psychology put on the spotlight a new kind of intelligence, a reasoning that used to contradict with the mind and its logic, an intelligence based on emotions. Emotional intelligence was defined as the ability to control and harness our emotions, channelling them into positive results like solving problems or managing interpersonal conflicts.

low emotional intelligence

It also includes the skill of regulating one’s own emotions and those of others. For instance, some people can benefit from feelings that can be extremely destructive such as melancholy, loneliness, and sadness to generate a constructive analysis of their problems or what’s weighing them down.

High emotional intelligence has a lot of positive influence on different areas of one’s life. For example, emotional intelligence helps your performance at school/work. Furthermore, your awareness and management of your own feelings are now considered to be more important than your IQ.

It can also help your physical and mental health, basically because if you are unable to control your emotions the end result is a lot of stress, high blood pressure, and risk of heart attack, in addition to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

Finally, emotional intelligence also has a huge impact on your relationships. If you are unable to understand and manage your own emotions, it will block you from creating strong bonds, because you can not express how you feel and understand how others are feeling.

When you encounter a friend, a lover or a relative whose reactions are really difficult to understand or you seem unable to see what he is going through, that is probable because he has low emotional intelligence. Then we find ourselves faced with helplessness, just at the mercy of his apparently illogical and desproportionate reactions.

However, we are not that helpless. Here are some tips on how to deal with someone with low emotional intelligence.

  • Help him develop emotional awareness: some people lack this ability as a result of not feeling understood in their early life emotional experiences. Also, because some people think their feelings are confusing, threatening or painful, they distance themselves from everyone else in order to avoid being misunderstood or judged. Let him know you are not going to judge his feelings. Your role here is to make them feel comfortable enough to speak to us about how they are feeling without judging them. Usually, the key is just listening.


  • People sometimes might project their confused feelings from us, even threatening the relationship between that person and us. In this case, you need to be fully aware of how these people can sometimes be deliberately pushing you away out of terror or feelings of intimidation.


  • Another key point to deal with people with low emotional intelligence is trying to communicate with them how we are feeling, and show them our ability to analyze how certain things make us feel. You must understand that this is not a weakness. Try also to push them a little bit out of their comfort zone, go out more often, buy a dog (seriously, it has been demonstrated to raise our emotional intelligence!) or have a serious honest conversation of how the things they do because of their low emotional intelligence are hurting other’s feelings.

El futuro de la educación en España: análisis del informe

En un informe reciente se han listado la larga cantidad de  problemas que, según los profesores españoles (mi país de origen) perjudican su rendimiento y labor, así como la de sus estudiantes.

Leyendo el informe en profundidad, los profesores han sido bastante pesimistas con el futuro del sistema educativo en España y eso es preocupante. El sistema educativo español está en una constante transición desde que las reformas comenzaron a actuar sin parar en cada cambio de gobierno. Cuando unas se han aceptado otras se están gestando en los despachos políticos, y eso no ofrece ninguna estabilidad ni permite ver los resultados a largo plazo.

El pesimismo del futuro educativo en España

Esta investigación sobre el futuro de la educación en España, llamada ‘La educación en España. Horizonte 2020’ ,ha puesto de manifiesto la mala situación que vive este sector en ciertos aspectos, en especial los que se relacionan al rol de profesor, el apoyo del poder público y la posibilidad de llegar a concretar acuerdos.


Debido a que hay poco dinero disponible, esto ha sido un proceso imparable en los últimos años por el gobierno. Este problema es debido a que cada vez son menos los fondos que son destinados a la educación, y aunque se hayan producido repuntes pequeños para recuperar el terreno que se perdió, a pesar de que la crisis parezca haber quedado atrás, los profesionales comprenden que la disminución del apoyo monetario a la educación forma parte de un movimiento de tipo global del que no hay vuelta atrás.

Esto se refleja en que la cantidad de centros va a reducirse, con la excepción de los privados y los de formación profesional. Según algunos consultados, la gestión privada es la que va a crecer a pasos agigantados en detrimento del sector público. Malas noticias para los temporales y los interinos. Se prevé que se reduzcan las plantillas y que elratio de alumnos y docentes sea más inestable que antes, perjudicando notoriamente la calidad de la enseñanza pública.

En la actualidad España invierte un 4,5% en educación de su Producto Interior Bruto. Esto es un porcentaje por debajo de la media de la Unión Europea, la cual está en el 5,3%. Los países más generosos son Suecia con 6,8 y Dinamarca con 7,9. Una situación similar es la de las ayudas a estudiantes de tipo financieras, que también están por debajo del conjunto de la Unión Europea.

No obstante, hay algunas razones para ser optimista ya que la diversidad cultural debe ir en aumento gracias a que se multiplicarán los planes de convivencia. Una mayor flexibilidad del currículo escolar y el desarrollo de competencias también son iniciativas próximas.

Sin duda, un panorama poco esperanzador para el futuro de la educación española, que obliga a gran cantidad de estudiantes a salir de su país para completar sus estudios, como el caso de quien escribe estas líneas.

Is education a social science?

Social science is an integral part of academic discipline that deals with society and studies its relationships within the individuals in the society. Social sciences encompass a wide variety of disciplines as economics, political science, human geography, demography, and psychology, among others. And it also includes education.


Many argue that education should not be considered a social science as technically, it is a discipline which merely gives systematic instruction, like in a school or university. However, beyond the giving of instructions, education provides far reaching repercussions that result to mankind having a better quality of life, which is the reason why is should be considered a science.

1. Education is an enabler

Educated men can work across generations and cultures. Today, people are not confined only to work in their own places of domicile: because educated people have acquired the skills to do more complex jobs, they are able to find more fulfilling and higher paying jobs, resulting in better lives for them and their families. In fact, many people have crossed the boundaries of language, so that they learn a second language to better understand peoples of other cultures.

2. Education has a correlation with better societies

Education provides mankind with information on how to live better and healthy lives, not only by giving information on what to do to achieve well being but conversely to show them the bad effects of bad health habits.

Studies show that societies with more educated people suffer less infant mortalities, have lower incidences of depression, and show a higher propensity to cope with everyday challenges. Conversely, those societies with more uneducated people suffer the brunt of increasing health costs, incidences of suicides, and higher rates of people having sexually transmitted diseases.

3. Education as an inspirer

To be educated is to aspire for goals way beyond what the mind can imagine. When a person is educated, he is able to think big, using all he has learned to follow up on his life goals. An educated man’s will to succeed cannot easily be thwarted with superficial challenges. In fact, the more an educated person is challenged, the more he strives to get over his problems.

4. Education opens our mind

Education gives man an open mind but helps him go on the right track. An educated person’s walls are limitless. He will always be open to ideas, however, when it comes to making decisions, he knows what will be best for him and will stick it out through thick or thin. An educated person is able to have a masterplan for his life where aside from his options, he has back-up plans just in case he is side-tracked.

5. Education helps us live the life we want

All of us go to universities to finish a degree. This degree is not something we get so that we can brag about it. This degree is a result of years of dutiful study so that we can land our coveted job, be financially independent and feel good that we have reached our goals after years of hard work.

Although education may not necessarily equate to success, having a good education will definitely open doors for people to advance their causes so that these opportunities, whether big or small, may in one way or the other, lead us to achieving the happiness that we all have been working for.

Welcome to Factual -my mission-

Welcome to this new blog at Harvard from a science passionate and multi-language student. In Factual my mission will be to discuss science-based facts in order to bust all those myths that populate the Internet nowadays.

Why this? Because this is the era of disinformation. Anyone with a computer and Internet connection can start writing, and the majority of people will believe it only because it is written on the Internet, as Dr. Gilbert found in 1993.

That year, Dr. Gilbert conducted a study that sought to determine our attitude when we received information. He put forward two possibilities:

By default, we believe what we read. And we only begin to doubt it when we find some evidence that we may be wrong.

Or, on the contrary, after reading an information, we judge it. if it seems correct, we believe it.

Even thought the second option seems the most logical, Dr. Gilbert found that when people are distracted or in a hurry, such as we are in this society, they tend to assume everything they read is true, as their judging ability is impaired.

Without time to think, people simply believe what they read.

This is why amongst some personal thoughts about education in English and Spanish, in this weblog you will also find some myth-busting from an evidence-based point of view in personal development (where people are more prone to believe everything they read), technology and marketing.

Source: Gilbert et al., You cannot believe everything your read. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1993 65(2)