The Pins & The Needles

I don’t have allergy like most of the people do. Luckily, I have been pretty healthy all along. The only pill I took¬†daily was just multi-vitamins or prenatal vitamins. Never used drugs before…not even a cigarette.

So this IVF journey has taken me to a whole wild world РI have been on hormonal therapy for 2 months, despite physically, I have no problem producing reproductive hormones and my organs are healthy.

Doctor put me on birth control pill since Feb, followed by hormone injections twice a day a week ago. As of 2 days ago, my injections at night went from 2 to 3. No joke, they burn like hell. I have become numb poking my belly with an 1.5 inch needles. But the aftermath of the injection feels like a little firework under the tissue. Then the injection site becomes red, swollen and itchy. This happen twice a day, 8 days straight by far.

I have never drugged myself this much in my whole life. Let alone the hormonal effects are insane. I don’t remember well. I am moody. I can sleep all day if I could. I almost googled “ivf medication side effects dementia?” the other day. My body is empty. My brain isn’t working. All I have is a bloated belly with close to 2 dozen eggs in it.

IF today is Halloween, I can easily dress up as Winnie the Pooh. No joke!

In the past, I had blamed that the whole IVF treatments are sexist. The physical pain and emotional torture that women have to suffer is far from what the men have to deal with, despite the infertility issues might not be on the female side. So I have to remind myself about the wedding vow, in which it said “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” A true testament to marriage and parent-want-to-be.