Blogger Deadman

I figured there were two ways to go with Blogger Deadman, so I tried it both ways. I’m not satisfied with either of these, but I’m sharing anyway. My post about “the deadman poems” puts these poems in context.

Blogger Deadman (1)
To Michael Delp and Vernica Downey

Deadman sneaks his feed into aggregators.
His posts lack content, are boring and redundant.
He breaks the rules of the blogosphere,
ignores the complaints of others that his posts are too long.
His links knock blogs offline,
melt circuit boards.
Someone reading his blog claims her monitor exploded.
He invents his own style of feed,
going against everything the RSS and Atom proponents negotiate toward.
He keeps his tech support people on edge with frivolous complaints and useless suggestions.
Tired of his offending content, someone pulls his plug.

Blogger Deadman (2)
To Michael Delp and Vernica Downey

Deadman blogs to beat all others.
No one knows where he gets his inspiration.
His light and witty, yet profound words astonish his readers.
The number of his subscribers explodes exponentially.
Finding him to be all they need, some drop their other subscriptions.
The blogosphere buzzes and reels in his wake.
Some call him a natural born blogger.
Everyone is jealous of his amazing software,
but he won’t say where he got it, sell it, or share its source code.
His feed slithers out like a snake,
compatible with all aggregators,
it sucks out people’s brains and brings them back to him.

Copyright 2004 Jessica Baumgart.

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