In yoga, there are these mini moments of triumph. Each pose poses a challenge, its own obstacle to be countered. With the soul of my foot pressed against the inner thigh of my opposite leg, I wobbled but stood balanced on one leg. It hurt a little but felt exhilarating simultaneously, empowering when I silenced my doubt and just observed my strength, my oneness with my body in this pose. From the soles of my feet through the crown of my head I stood strong. I was a rock. See, I didn’t know how long I needed to hold each pose. Every once in a while, I’d drop from the pose early, escaped the tough pull on my muscle, and on my mind. Knowing, every time that I could of held it longer. I held and held, asking myself if the instructor would ever say stop. It felt like an eternity until she did. Why couldn’t she just let us know that there was only ten seconds left to hold the pose. Then I would know I could hold it through the end. If I could just know how long the struggle would last, I could persevere through the struggle. That was just it though, you don’t get to know. It’s yoga, but its life too. I had too just believe that I had the strength to persevere through the pose – and not believe in the sense that I just myself “you can do it” or act as my own personal cheerleader. I had to truly and honestly believe I could do it, only then could I do it. That is the hardest part—believing that something that hasn’t happened yet will truly happen because in fact that is the only way it will. You don’t even need to know what will happen, just that it is going to. That is what faith is.
For a while I thought knowing was about confidence in what will come, but I was wrong. It was all about my confidence, not in what was coming, but that something was coming at all. You don’t get to know, and in realizing that, my faith was renewed.
In this piece, I wanted to highlight Light as Allah, but even more so I wanted to interrogate what “seeing Allah in nature could really look like. The story isn’t true, but it could be. As we’ve talked more about seeing Allah in nature, it really made me think about the moments in life where something clicks, you have an experience or you realize something you never could, even certain scripture in any religious texts may be read as a mystery or seem to have a simple, superficial meaning. And then there are moments of light, and you realize the truth and the depth of that scripture or whatever else.