Contradictions

To not have a say in how or where your father is buried, to have been lied to about his sudden death, but to be told a day later that you are now the man in the family, at the age of sixteen.

Bull

I saw a show about a woman who took care of bovines. I remember the comment she made about her washing the skin and hair of a bull. She said, yes, a bull will huff and puff when you get near one, but is just as intimate and in need of a hand on their body as any female. It’s all just show. I am certain I paraphrased that somewhat incorrectly due to my own need to adopt some of the idea of what she wrote into my own psyche, however, I sometimes think I am like that bull she was referring to.

Bebe – Malo

Apareciste una noche fría,
con olor a tabaco sucio y a ginebra
el miedo ya me recorría
mientras cruzaba los deditos tras la puerta.
Tu carita de niño guapo
se la ha ido comiendo el tiempo por tus venas,
y tu inseguridad machista
se refleja cada día en mis lagrimitas.

Una vez más no por favor que estoy cansada y no puedo con el corazón.
Una vez más no mi amor por favor,
no grites que los niños duermen.
Una vez mas no por favor que estoy cansada y no puedo con el corazón.
Una vez más no mi amor por favor,
no grites que los niños duermen.

Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tu puño de acero
y del morao de mis mejillas saldrá el valor
para cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se daña quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se daña quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres.

El dia es gris cuando tu est�s,
y el sol vuelve a salir cuando te vas
y la penita de mi coraz�n
yo me la tengo que tragar con el fog�n.
mi carita de ni�a linda
se ha ido envejeciendo en el silencio.
cada vez que me dices puta
se hace tu cerebro m�s peque�o.

Una vez m�s no por favor que estoy cansaa y no puedo con el coraz�n.
Una vez m�s no mi amor por favor,
no grites que los ni�os duermen
Una vez m�s no por favor que estoy cansada y no puedo con el coraz�n.
Una vez m�s no mi amor por favor,
no grites que los ni�os duermen.

Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tus pu�o de acero
y del morao de mis mejillas saldr� el valor
para cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se da�a quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se da�a quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres.

Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tus pu�o de acero
y del morao de mis mejillas saldr� el valor
para cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se da�a quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres
Malo, malo, malo eres
no se da�a quien se quiere, no
tonto, tonto, tonto eres
no te pienses mejor que las mujeres.

malo, malo eres,
malo eres, porque quieres…
malo, malo eres…
no me chilles, que me duele…

eres d�bil y eres malo,
y no te pienses mejor que yo ni que nadie…
y ahora yo me fumo un cigarrito
y te echo el humo en el corazoncito…
porque, malo malo eres, t�…
malo, malo eres,s�…
malo, malo eres, siempre…
malo, malo eres…

You showed up one cold night,
smelling of dirty tabacco and gin
the fear ran through me
while I crossed my fingers behind the door.
Your handsome childlike face
has been eaten by time through your veins,
and your macho insecurity
is reflected each day in my tears.

Once more please no, I am tired and I can’t with my heart.
Once more please no, my love, don’t yell, because the children sleep.
Once more please no, I am tired and I can’t with my heart.
Once more please no, my love, don’t yell, because the children sleep.

I will become like the fire, I will burn your punch of steel
and from the bruises on my cheeks will come the courage to charge you for my wounds.

Bad man, bad man, bad man, you don’t hurt the one you love, no
Foolish man, foolish man, foolish man, don’t think yourself better than women.
Bad man, bad man, bad man, you don’t hurt the one you love, no
Foolish man, foolish man, foolish man, don’t think yourself better than women.

Peoma para Hombres

Men Do Cry

Ken Falk

TCF Northwestern Connecticut

I heard quite often “men don’t cry”
    Though no one ever told me why
    So when I fell and skinned a knee
    No one came to comfort me.

And when some bully boy at school
    Would pull a prank so mean and cruel
    I’d quickly learn to turn and quip,
    “It doesn’t hurt” and bite my lip.

So as I grew to reasoned years
    I learned to stifle any tears.
    Though “Be a big boy” it began,
    Quite soon I learned to “Be a man.”

And I could play that stoic role
    While storm and tempest wracked my soul.
    No pain or setback could there be
    Could wrest one single tear from me.

Then one long night I stood nearby
    And helplessly watched my son die.
    And quickly found to my surprise
    That all that tearless talk was lies.

And still I cry and have no shame
    I cannot play that “big boy” game,
    And openly, without remorse
    I let my sorrow take its course.

So those of you who can’t abide
    A man you’ve seen who’s often cried,
    Reach out to him with all your heart
    As one whose life’s been torn apart.

For men do cry when they can see
    Their loss of immortality.
    And tears will come in endless streams
    When mindless fate destroys their dreams.

Los Hombres Lloran

Ken Falk
TCF Northwestern Connecticut

He escuchado frecuentemente “los hombres no lloran”
    Aunque nadie me dijo porque
    Entonces cuando yo me ca

Moments

Momentos:

Claro, la noche, y negro el cielo,
Vista del mar, sonido de caidas de agua
El puente de suspiro cerca
sentado en las afueras
Anticuchos con salsa verde, picante
memorias de una mujer
mi abuela
compro un flor
para ella
y lloro
y lloro
que bonito

Cantar es sentir

Es increible que una vez canto una historia, o un poema, o unas letras, en vez de simplemente leerlos, los entiendo como por primera vez, porque los entiendo no simplemente con mi mente, sino con mi coraz

Reaching out

“Reaching out to someone is like deciding to expand your chest so you can breathe in some air.”

screeshot of my desktop

My desktop. Not tweaked for utter aesthetic
perfection, still, I like the background, even if it is just a blown up
photograph of someone’s painting, and therefore rough.

Writer’s Almanac

For a little comfort food, please check out the link above. Just click
on the title. If you are a fan of Garrison Keeler, check it out.
However, if you are not, don’t necessarily avoid this site. He uses
five minutes of a radio program everyday to talk about people, often
writer’s, who were born on the particular day, and talks about their
lives. A cool site to send to someone for their birthday. Check out
yours. I found out my father has the same birthday as David Letterman.
Not that it’s that important, yet, why not look it up. And he also
recites a poem, I think the best part. Just one poem; so it you are
averse to poetry, or simply have a hard time picking up a poetry book
and reading it through, this is a good site to go to, becuase, so, far,
it has me hooked, and I don’t read poetry. The site has the poem on it,
too so you can follow along.

Take care,

Sebastian

 a few other cool sites I have found on, in particular one person’s website:
Sun photographs
RefDesk A list full of all kinds
of reference material. It has a lot. If I want to look something up, I
go there. I’m sure there are more advanced sites, however, just go.
I know I ‘ve seen a few others. I’ll post them some other day.

Translation/tradducion/ traduction

Aqui he puesto una pagina que puede traducir el texto de esta pagina de
web a diferentes idiomas cuando no escribo en espanol o en ingles.

Here is a website that transaltes webpages you can use when I write in only one language for those who speak or read only one.

Cuidate, take care of yourself!

Sebastian