In the Mood (Actually, in A Mood)

I used to love “In the Mood”. It’s such a fun song. My favorite part of the Glenn Miller Orchestra recording my Dad had was when it got softer and softer towards the end – and then WHAM, BAM, Thank you, Ma’am – the horns would blast and it ended in a fabulous big band way. I even danced to it at the Fireman’s Ball when I was a teen! Ah – small town life.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the point of my blog posting today. I’m not really in “the ” mood so much lately, as much as I’m in “a” mood.

I don’t know how Matt puts up with me. I think I’m getting worse and worse as I get older (33 next month). Granted, this past year was rough with Matt’s physical problems, his mental health problems, moving to a new condo, my Mom’s lung cancer scare, my niece’s constant gastro-instestinal failure and hospitalization and Matt’s brother temporarily living with us. But most of those issues are behind us now so I should be feeling more optimistic.

But I’m not. I’m still feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling like I have no “alone” time. For the past few months I’ve been thinking of solutions (like going into individual therapy or yoga for relaxation)…but I’m afraid those things will just cause more stress. It’s just one more appointment I’ll have to make – and one less hour of alone time.

Another solution I thought of was a mini-vacation – just going away for the sake of getting away. But this also brings me to the other stresser – finances. By moving from Salem to Boston and selling the car, my annual living expenses are $3,000 less than they used to be. I was so excited when I made that calculation a few months ago. My goal was to put most of it in savings (for a rainy day) and I was also considering getting braces next year to close the gap between my front teeth.

But I calculated the other day that Dusty is going to cost us over $10,000/year for medical, medications, Canine College, purchase price, doggie-day care, food, etc….(at least for the first year). That pretty much eats up all the money I could have saved…and has me spending more than ever while earning the same salary (which puts me in the red).

This limits me from taking said mini-vacations and even signing up for yoga classes.

Which gets me back to Matt. He’s such a sweetie. He offered to pay for me to go on a mini-vacation alone (I was thinking Philadelphia, New Hope and Brandywine, PA). So, even though I’ve been a complete dick at home for the past few months…he still loves and cares for me! I think I need to learn to appreciate that (and him) more.


  1. Comment by matt on April 21, 2004 8:14 pm

    oh, that was such a sweet post! I don’t think either of us are easy to live with — it is just a rough patch! And my money is your money — so it is no big deal for you to take a vacation!!! I still think you should just get away!

    Braces,eh? Won’t that hurt during oral sex when you are in the mood?

  2. Comment by Jen on April 21, 2004 8:44 pm

    Um, TMI, MATT!

    Leave the gap alone, Karl! It’s so cuuuuute!

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