Tears on My Pillow, Pain in My Heart
I’m so glad it’s a new day. Last night, for only the third time in the 9 years I’ve known Matt…I cried. Crying just doesn’t come easily to me. It never has. I’ll get frustrated, I’ll get angry, and my throat will start aching…but I never shed tears. Last night – I couldn’t stop them.
As most couples will do from time to time, last night was one of those nights where Matt and I discussed “us”. We talked about the hellish two years we’ve worked through, we talked about the present circumstances, and scariest of all, we discussed the fears and the realities of the future. I wish life was more black and white. Ironic that grey is the color when black and white mix…because things just seem so grey lately. But Matt and I are both going to continue working on doing whatever it takes to paint some more white into the picture.
Apparently, Dusty also sensed something was not right because she decided to start her own crying fit at 4:00AM – waking both of us up. Her crying wasn’t as silent as mine…she was wailing at the top of her lungs.
Needless to say, I didn’t wake up very well rested. To make matters worse, I was watching the news this morning and there was a television commercial depicted a married couple getting dressed to go out for a romantic evening. The mother was sitting in front of the vanity with their little daughter. The husband – dressed to the nines in a suit – comes in to talk about the babysitter, when the wife says there’s no need for a babysitter. At this point, I wanted to puke. But then the fucking family goes to Friendly’s! That was their fucking date? Friendly’s?
For those of you non-New Englanders, Friendly’s is an ice-cream/budget restaurant chain. It caters to the elderly with their $2.22 breakfasts and to children with their free sundae’s with a meal. It’s a dump. For any family to don their Sunday-finest to go to Friendly’s is tragic. This is just one in a series of similar shmaltzy, Christrian-right leaning, Hallmark-esque ad campaigns. Previous ones have focused on post-funeral dining and post-divorce dining. In my mind, if somebody brings a spouse to Friendly’s on a date – then divorce is justified.
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“I know that in my heart
I feel like going home again
But, I know that in my heart
I’m scared of what I’ll find
I know that in my heart
I want to see another side
But, I know that in my heart
I’m scared of what I’ll find”
Texas, In My Heart
the high priestess sharleen speaks!
Must have been fight night – were the planets arranged in some strange pattern? I believe that this morning, coffee and sugar are the only two things keeping me from falling onto my desk and sleeping.
Strangely enough, we didn’t fight (we never do, actually). We just talk.
Unfortunately, last night’s topics were pretty deep. I hope yours wasn’t as bad!
Friendly’s. Who knew? That’s all we need, baby!
Hope you’re feeling better now!
Things will work out if you want to Karl, and I hope that Matt feels the same. It’s never easy… Maybe one day you guys can look back on last night and realize that, it was necessary…
As the song goes… Love’s easy tears.
There was some kind of crazy in the world last night
BABY Heads!!!
Don’t be sad!!!
Stare at the naked plate while eating broccoli covered in melted crunch bars!!!