A Moving Experience

OK – too much information alert: I read in the bathroom.

There. I said it. Yes, I bring a magazine in with me. I’m not proud of the fact, but it’s true. I’ve done this since childhood and I’m likely not to change. Now stop judging me because that’s not the point of this blog posting.

You see, this morning I was reading the most recent edition of Out magazine. As I was browsing the pages and learning more about my gay and lesbian brethren (and sistren?), I flipped a page only to hear the magazine ring at me. Yes, I said ring…like a telephone. Then a mans’ voice came out of the magazine and said something like “Hey Dude, it’s me. Yeah, I’m at the beach.”.

I’m not lying. It’s a good thing I was already sitting on the toilet because I literally would have shit my pants if I was wearing any.

Anyway, what the hell’s up with that? Aren’t magazine supposed to be a visual media source? If I want to hear things (or, in this case, be startled by things), I’ll watch TV or listen to the radio. But, my lord, somebody’s going to have a heart attack one of these days.

And it was a waste of advertiser money because I have no clue what the product was. I recall it being a medication – only because I remember seeing pages of fine print (a tell-tale sign). What medicine has to do with cell phones and beaches is beyond me. It’s funny, my biggest peeve with magazine used to be those inserts made of a thicker material that prevent you from folding the magazine while reading it. Now I’ve got to look out for audio assaults. What’s next?


  1. Comment by Will on February 16, 2005 11:00 am

    Karl, I love your outrages because they’re so like mine (see mine about window envelopes that you replied to). This Out was the second one in a row to have this insert. The first time I got it, I managed to rip it out and throw it away without triggering it. Then when I threw away a glass jar, I had talking garbage–scared the hell out of me.

    For the record, I think they’re selling an AIDS med. The point is that the med is so successful the guy is off at the beach not worrying about anything. My first “talking magazine” was the New Yorker, of all things, several years ago that had a chip playing a Christmas carol. If the magazine was folded, the chip played continuously. The noise in the mail room at the 500 apartment building my parents lived in was deafening!

  2. Comment by chrispy on February 16, 2005 11:54 am

    speaking of bathroom adverts: there are bars in NY and Tokyo that have tiny flat-screen tvs built into the doors of their toilet cubes. so as you have your sh*t, some company can sell you something else you dont need.

  3. Comment by matt on February 16, 2005 1:27 pm

    it is most def. a medication related to AIDS. …selling the idea that the person can go to the beach without worry.

    I wonder if this will be the new thing? talking ads! Am glad Brenda Vacarro is no longer doing those tampon commercials. that would be most worrying!

  4. Comment by adamg on February 16, 2005 3:24 pm

    About ten years ago, the New Yorker included some insert that did something like that. Now picture your basic Upper West Side apartment building where ALL the mailboxes are chirping madly at once because when the mailman folded the magazines to fit them into the boxes, he managed to spring all the inserts open …

  5. Comment by jeff on February 16, 2005 4:09 pm

    I managed to set mine off while I was unwrapping the latest issue of Out. Moe turned around and was like “what the hell was that, is the magazine ringing?” I had seen the ad in the last issue and ripped it out – so I knew about it – but it was funny to see his reaction. What a freaking dumb marketing gimmick.

  6. Comment by Thom on February 16, 2005 5:28 pm

    I absolutely HATE that ad. The first thing I did was to rip the damned thing out of the magazine and throw it away. What a complete waste of money to put such an annoying thing into an ad for medication.

  7. Comment by Robert on February 16, 2005 10:38 pm

    So you were having a BM and that’s why you named your entry A ‘Moving’ Experience?

    bhahahh! I get it now…

  8. Comment by Erica on February 19, 2005 3:24 am

    And I thought the scent assaults from perfume ads were bad!

    One more victory for the internet I suppose. But then you’d need a laptop for the bathroom… Ooh, niche market in steam-proof circuitry, ahoy!

  9. Comment by David in Chicago on February 19, 2005 10:32 am

    You all hate the ad, but you’re all talking about it, aren’t you? I had not even heard of it until reading this post…but now I know all about it. I guess it really is true about any publicity being good publicity.

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